Looking the sky

I am looking to the sky while it does not happen. It is magnificent! How can the blue to be so deep? How can the stars shine out inside my soul? The moon seems to be hugging the earth with her eyes. I hear a song, I just cannot describe the feeling it gives me. A pure sing of the angels, it comes to the right side. The street was supposed to be calm and deserted, but no, it is not. There is a party in outside, it is not a little party; there is a lot of joy in their faces. The beautiful song comes from there I can feel it. I want to be happy with this people, however, I cannot feel the same way them. Why? Because I know that, sadness will come here today, and when this happen I do not imagine the world being good to me. Everything is going to change. I cannot imagine how hard it will be, it seems pathetic, but it is true, and I am not able to accept it. I just wait. Where are my inner strength in this right moment? Oh, my God I would do everything different than I have done. If I come in the past, I would fight for my own life better. I do not stop think a single minute, I am crazing. Now I am here waiting for the worst thing that could be. It is going to happen now. I close my eyes and trying to forget about what I am hardly waiting for. Maybe I am trying forgetting about everything I have done to myself. Sometimes I return in the response minute for that. I cannot figure out what happened yet. I used to be full in happiness and peace. My thoughts are so confuse. Can I concentrate on other things? I have to. I see the bridge, she is entering on the church, and oh, she is late. How could she be late for the special day? If was me I would come in time. Nonetheless, I cannot, all I can do is wait for that, this day looks like it does not pass. I need to be pretty, I think, no I really need to be crestfallen. My entire life is a lie. I never was that person I pretended be. It has been a long time since I got here. I cannot see it anymore. My eyes are bursting into tears. I hear the birds singing, I know, it is crazy, it makes me feel good, I imagine the engaged in the church, I can dream with it. Now I am the lucky bride. This is I inside the church and I am going to say “YES”. Oh! Is it that? I was waiting for this moment, for a long time, but now I want to go away. However, an explicit noise makes me wake up it is something happening I see the road staying behind. Everybody is running in my direction. What are they thinking? What am I doing here? Am I hallucinating? I am in a hospital, because of the car accident after my escaping. I will not die, but I feel like I was dead. Everything I saw was my last hour in this world, just because I was scared. I love him. Why he is not here? I lost him forever. Just because me stupid crazy escape. Now the worst is coming. I have to tell him that I love him, so much. I love him with strongly. However, I love him as a friend. He is precious for me. I did not need to say it just in our wedding day. I had to be sincere and strong to tell before this sad happening. My bad dream is just starting. What is coming is the horror of my life. My family never will see me the same way. I feel so bad with myself. Sometimes I think that I should never be born. Some moments in life are cruel. The shame is the worst thing that a human can feel. That moment I was avoiding is coming. It is time to revel the truth, the very truth I carry with me in all this time. My family has to be entirely here, and then they can think whatever they think. It will be hard for my mom too, I know, and because of that, I suffer more. My family was expecting for my marriage, and they will scary. They are so kind with me. I have be strong enough to tell them. I tortured myself and I renounced

My own situation many times. There is only one person absent for me to reveal everything. It is my best friend. That person will be who will support me. “Hey you” speaking of that, my friend is here, my family is here, nobody is faulting. Could I just start with the great speech? It can be helpful. I am going to be direct. In addition, I will finish the terrible feeling that is killing me. This time finally is happening. “I have to say to everyone, in this room, firstly I love you all and does not matter what happen, whatever you will do with what I am going to reveal to you, I will always take you in my heart. It has been hard to decide, but today I make the right decision in the church. This marriage could never happen, just because I love my fiancé, with all my heart, but I love him as a good friend, and so I could not make him happy. I wish him all happiness in the world, he deserve that more than nobody does. I am very sorry for that. However, my heart belongs someone else and that person I always called my best friend. In my entirely life I was in love with her.” With these simple words my friend hug me, I did not see the reactions. THE END.