In loving memory

Okay I thought to myself you can do this Heather you have to do this for your family. Right now I was in the kitchen covered in flour and raw eggs. I was in the middle of trying to make my grandma's famous cookie recipe from memory though I wasn’t doing too well though. Was it two eggs or was that two gallons of milk I sighed and hit the wall with my fist I was angry at myself that I couldn’t figure out my grandma's recipe. I sighed this was the first year that my grandma wouldn’t be with us for christmas so I wanted to do something nice for my family and. Make a big surprise for them but I wasn’t doing too well . You see my grandma had passed a couple months ago and she died. A brain tumor for a few months before she got diagnosed she had been having headaches and getting dizzy all the time so we took her to the doctors that said she had a brain tumor. They did imadiet surgery but she died anyway.  I thought that since this was the first year without her I could do something nice for my family but I am not the best of cooks. I remember the first time my grandma tried to teach me to cook I was seven years old.

“Okay honey we have all the ingredients right” I heard my grandma say she looked down at me and smiled. I gave her a gapped tooth smile back.

“Yes Gram '' I said, shaking my head so that my long black hair made a curtain between my grandma and I.

“Okay first we are going to roll the dough can you pass me the flour honey” Grandma said I squealed then jumped up on my step stool and grabbed the flour I jumped off the step stool and. Gave my grandma the flour before making my way back to her side and watching her pour out the floor.

“Okay now honey we are doing to roll the dough” I nodded as I watched my grandma roll out the dough then cut out various shapes in the dough with our cookie cutters. 

“Okay now we are going to put them in the oven and wait to decorate them” I heard grandma say I smiled as I ran over to sit down on the chair. 

“Grandma, why are you teaching me how to make cookies? '' I said I was wondering why my grandma would want me to make cookies with her.

“Well,” My grandma said, reaching out and putting me on her lap and softly stroking my hair. 

“Someday sweetie I won’t be around to make you cookies anymore so you need to learn how to make my cookies for yourself.” I titled my head up in confusion. What was my grandma saying? Why wouldn’t she be here with me?

“Grandma, why won’t you be here with me?” I said, looking up at her with wide eyes.

“Well honey there is this place called heaven and when it is your time to die you go there but only you I am getting older and one day it will be my time to go to heaven while you stay on earth.” My grandma said, giving me a warm smile, I bit my bottom lip in confusion and played with my thumbs. I was confused about what Grandma meant. I didn’t get it at the time I do now if only I could have told younger me to cherish all the times I had with my grandma. Because someday I wouldn’t have my grandma to be there with me to hold me after a nightmare to sneak me ice cream when my parents told me no. To love me unconditionally I didn’t get it but I do now and I wish more than anything that I could have my grandma back. I would give anything for just a second with my grandma again. Just then me and grandma heard a loud beep grandma moved me off her lap and stood up to get the cookies out of the oven. I stood up and ran over to my grandma peeking at our cookies. They looked perfect.

“They look good honey, we did a good job,” Grandma said before giving me a high five I giggled before spinning around in my apron. 

“Come on now let's get the rest of the family and by the time we get back the cookies will be cool enough to decorate.” I nodded as my grandma and I ran to go get my mom, dad, aunt, uncle, cousins, and older brother. 

“Come on you guys time to decorate the cookies” I said they all stood up and followed after me I was in the lead running to get to the cookies. When we got there we all took our place before grabbing the cookies. I was a mess by the time it was finished. I was covered in dough, flour, and now frosting. I looked around at my family and saw that they were done decorating the cookies too.

“Can we eat now grandma?” I said, giving my best puppy dog eyes my grandma's smell before ruffling my hair.

“Yes sweetie you can eat your cookies now” I picked one up and bit into it but as soon as I did I realized that there was something wrong with the cookies. 

“Grandma these cookies taste funny” I said my family looked at me before biting into their cookies and all of them immediately spit up the cookies. 

“Honey, can you bring me the bag of flour?” My grandma said I nodded before jumping off my chair and running to grab the flour. I ran back to my grandma and laid the flour in front of her. 

“Oh honey,” My grandma said before she burst out laughing. I looked at her curiosity as the others started to laugh too.

“Honey this is salt” I had to laugh at myself because that was one of my favorite memories of my grandma.

“Heather” I heard someone call. I looked over and saw that it was Elijah, my older brother.

“Why are you crying?” Was I crying? I hadn’t realized I sank to the floor then all the grief came out in that moment.

“Grandma I miss her so much I was trying to make her cookies but I just can't” I wailed as my brother got on his knee beside me hugging me to his chest.

“I miss grandma to honey” Elijah said I sobbed harder and I could feel my hair becoming wet with Elijah’s tears too.

“Grandma would be proud of the woman you are, you know that right” I nodded at Elijah. He smiled before grabbing me by the waist and picking me up.

“Come on now it's time for Christmas dinner” I smiled at Elijah. Maybe I didn’t have my  grandma but I still had the memories of her I thought as a small smile graced over my face.