Cheating the System

He always thought of himself as clever. He had an odd sense of humor that leaned towards the dark but it amused him, if not always others, and that was, after all, what was really important wasn’t it?

He would write the occasional story and poem and feel satisfied at a particular turn of phrase or description. His wife loved getting handwritten poems on special occasions and he felt he was doing his part to stick it to Hallmark and their overpriced cards.

The blog began simply to give him a place to vent and rant at the irrational, the political, and the idiotic things he saw and read each day. Now, he was no keeper of the moral compass or knower of all truths, but he felt he needed to call out the stupidity he saw all around him. if for no other reason than to keep his own sanity. After a few posts condemning the current political landscape, he began to search out other blogs and was happy to discover a few creative writing blogs that aimed to jumpstart the writing process with a few suggestions or prompts. Ideas and starting points for a story or poem.

One such prompt was to write a story that took place in a single room over the course of one year. He mulled this over and being the wise ass, that he knew himself to be, thought of a way to take the premise and avoid the one to three thousand word stipulation the contest asked for. Why not have a protagonist who creates a time machine and uses it on New Years Day to travel one year into the future or past? It could be one paragraph and still meet the story parameters of the blog if not the word count. But that was cheating and not in keeping with the spirit of the post. So, how about a story centered on this same time traveller but make him a stock trader who goes back and forth in time to watch the gyrations of the Market and profit from them. Watching his computer screens and trading with advanced knowledge could be done in the one room demanded by the contest and we could follow him for a year. How would he file his taxes for that year? That could be interesting.

He soon realized that he wasn’t actually writing a story, he was writing a process for writing a story and this too was not actually what the post had asked for.

Okay, so he thought, on a completely different idea, how about a serial killer who gets trapped by a victim in his own kill room and is forced to wait one year for his own death. Nah, too dark, he thought and was a bit surprised at his normally lighthearted approach turning macabre.

How about an obsessive compulsive who enters writing contests and spends one year in his office writing and rewriting a story for publication that never really addresses the essence of the original post.

Can you really cheat the system if you’re outside the box?

He finally felt he had something he could submit and pressed the “submit” button at the bottom of the blog. Denied. It could not be saved because it wasn‘t the required length. So much for gaming the system.

Okay, he thought you want one thousand words? Here you go. He did not want to appear snarky or angry because in actuality the process of entering the contest had in fact triggered. . . something. And for that he was grateful and happy. It had been cathartic getting some words on virtual paper and he intended to continue. Don’t piss off the gatekeeper.

Thank you for reading thank you for reading thank you for reading. Thank thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks always the wise guy thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks please don’t be angry thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thinking outside the box thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks this is more difficult than you’d think thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks stretching to get to one thousand thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks cheating thanks thanks thanks i know this isn’t what you meant thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks I couldn’t help myself thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks my thumbs are getting tired thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks should use smaller words yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes no no no no no ahh that’s better no no no no no no gonna try again soon no no no no no no no no done??? probably not no no no no no no no no no no no no no ok no no no ok no no ok no no ok no ok no no no no ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok was gonna use K but too many in a row looks bad so ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok enough? let’s try thanks thanks thanks yet again. 868 so close keep typing ok ok ok ok ok ok ok should have spelled out 868 it uses more words eight hundred sixty eight there ok ok ok ok ok and again thank you for reading and indulging me in this ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok just a few more probably Let try and thanks thanks ok ok ok ok ok done? whew! nine hundred thirty seven damn one thousand words is more thank you think fifty more go go go go go I have a cramp in my hand go go go go go go go go go go go go go go whew! Twenty one more to go six teen then done ok ok ok ok ok ok ok five four three two one!