Tomatoes and limes

There is whiskey, vodka, rum but nothing beats a strong bottle of brandy. Nothing beats the dark amber liquid running through my veins warming every part of my body. And today of all days I need a drink more than ever. I guess everyone would have a wet dream being trapped in a supermarket, drugs alcohol I could overdose here, and my body would fester and decay for days before someone can get to it. The smell and body of a cadaver would linger in the minds for months.

I’ve been in here for hours too, scared to go outside, the blizzard thrashing around outside strangling the town to a standstill. I can hear it whispering outside. “Come to me.” I mean I could but surely, I would freeze to death. “Come to me now. I will keep you warm.” Oh god I didn’t know the blizzard could read minds. But damn I didn’t know it had such a sexy alluring voice she’s calling out to me like a siren.

Perhaps I should leave this superstore, I am sure that there is someone or something is watching me. I’ve already told the beer they are not to talk to me, very naughty stella cans they are. It’s why I turned them away from me, if I can’t see them, they can’t talk to me. I think I’ll just leave. “You hear that stella. You can’t send me crazy. I’m leaving.” That means passing the kiddy aisle.

Oooooh the kiddy aisle is my favourite. Just thinking about all the toys is enough for me to rip my clothes of and roll around in all the stuffed teddy bears, rip out the insides cover my-self in the cotton clouds, how giddy and tingly it makes me feel. This is what my stairway to heaven will feel like. Falling asleep would be so close to falling into a coma right now, however I must get home people are depending on me.

Okay take two I’m walking; I’m walking there is definitely not anyone here watching me. And if there was, I’ll just scream run at them, my naked body is enough for frighten anyone, I’ve asked enough women. I must move though, the darkness behind me is creeping up silently waiting to pounce and engulf me. Stuff it just keep moving there is no one behind me, to the side of me or in front of me, except that moving bundle of whatever that is in front of me. Where did that come from, it’s just lying there looking right at me with its big round eyes bulging out of its skull. God it looks ugly looking at me with those demon eyes, blood red in one and lime green in the other. If it weren’t so ugly, I am sure that I could pass of its eyes as a tomato and lime. Oooooh I’m sure they would be good with a steak dish.

How long have we been deadlocked staring at each other? I’m drooling all over my skin, my nipples and onto the floor. If I carry on, I can make a slip and slide and hopefully I can slip and slide the baby out of here and into that blizzard. Maybe the voice will accept that baby as an offering. I need to get home soon before the family worry.

Well several hours seemed to have gone by and this baby is starting to freak me out. It just keeps staring at me making no noise. Seeing as this baby isn’t moving and I’m too scared to pass it I guess I’ll flank it, there seems to be infinite amount of aisles. The baby will never see me coming, genius move.

“Cheque mate you little rug rat. Good luck surviving the cold.” Marvelling at my genius to walk around to another aisle perhaps I will pick up some alcohol swig it and ride the nimbus cloud all the way home. “What the – “did the baby just teleport, I’m sure I walked past three aisles to get away from the baby. It’s standing on their own arms and legs opening its mouth closing repeatedly while again still staring at me. What does it want exactly? It’s trying to stop me from leaving and if don’t get out soon I’m sure the darkness will swallow and eat me whole till I am just bones.

Okay let’s just go to a different aisle hope the creepy baby has gone. And even so I swear the maple syrup keeps winking at me while the cookies keep dancing seductively around my legs, splitting themselves open showing there rich creamy chocolate sauce.

Okay take three, I’m skipping, I’m skipping away from the creepy baby, I can even see the store exit now. As long as I stay away from all the kiddy toys and bears, I’ll soon be freezing in that blizzard which doesn’t seem to be letting of. At the voice has stopped talking to me, I hope.

“Jesus mother of Mary, why is there still a baby in front of me.”

I swear I went to a new aisle in the store to get away from it. But this must be a new baby for now it seems to be walking. But walking where? Hopefully, it does not notice I am here.

“That means you pink ladies shut the hell UP.” Oh no, the baby must have heard the pink ladies as it is now staring down at me. Things are gonna get crazy in here.

“You hear that baby I won’t be afraid to fly kick you if come any where near me.”

Why did I say that because now the baby waddling to wards me. No teeth in it’s mouth its eye never blinking its tomato lime eyes. What do I do it was only bravado I was showing to the baby. But it is only small so maybe I should give it a swift kick. Taking my aim for the door and kick. One quick punt and away the baby goes through the doors and into the cold.

The doors have burst open which is my chance to leave and I’ll take it. My god the cold is unbelievably cold, cutting through my bones. But at least it is soft and fluffy to lay in almost as good as teddy bears and the stuffing.

“Honey why is there a naked man covered in blood swimming with the pigs?”

“I received a call from the Jamesons. They said their son and I quote ‘dropped a ton of acid and is tripping balls.’ As for the blood he killed two pigs and kicked a piglet.”