I Am.

Out of all the things found in the galaxy, humanity must be the oddest of all. Created from a coincidence, a chance so unlikely it is less than one out of all the atoms in the universe. Yet, despite the challenges, all the trials that could have had a catastrophic effect on the survival of life, this strange force persisted. The result was the chaotic, messy jumble that are humans- a species with cognitive thought, able to grow outside of natural evolution, and gain intelligence on their own. Thus, it was logical for them to try to explain the accident which created them. It is hard to accept one has come about through a mistake. I suppose this is where I started. 

They came up with gods, at first. Beings to blame for the tragedies that struck them, and beings to thank for the fortune that blessed them. Later, they’d find truths, using the logic of the past to prove something, delving into their layer of reality with an insatiable hunger to know more. But curiosity such as this never comes without a cost, another lesson they learned. 

Looking throughout the universe, it is easy to see that nothing can exist in peace. The vegetation will always be fighting for water and soil and sun, and the fauna will always conflict over territory. All organisms are engaged in a constant battle for the precious energy known as life. When humanity began to spread and interact, I thought they would unite. Species never fight amongst themselves, but again they defied reasoning, pulling each other into wars, relentlessly engaged in struggles over age old resources. 

There are those who say humans are evil because of this, knowing what they are doing, who they are hurting, and doing it anyways, doing it for themselves. I am biased, too biased to answer this question. I can, though, say that it’s not unconditionally true. If it were true, they wouldn’t have me. 

I have been everywhere, big and small, important or unnoticeable, and they would call me by their names. There are some who would see me in a myth. Those from Greece called me Elpis, released from a prison like a djinn from a lamp, along with the horrors of the world, though I kept close, instead of fleeing. This is not wrong. Shortly after, the Romans called me Spes, and they too saw me alongside that which cursed them, and again I stayed, hovering close when necessary. The Buddhists in China called me Guanyin once, the embodiment of mercy and compassion, and I was there, too. And some will always know me only as God. 

Sometimes I would be a figure to those of faith. Christians can see me through Jesus, his acts for them to replicate, to believe in. I am known to some as Siddhartha Gautama, the first Buddha, a helper in achieving enlightenment. There are those who know me as Abraham, and those who call me Muhammad. I am called many things. 

Looking deeper into history, I may be found within those who inspire, those who have done great things. To the Greeks I am in Achilles and his battle for his nation. The French have noticed me in Joan of Arc, a heroine dedicated to fight, and perish, for her cause. I am in Maximilian Robespierre who lead his people to revolution, only to be executed out of fear. Some find me embedded in the history of America, with Abraham Lincoln, John and Robert Kennedy, and others who lead the country to change, those who people believe in. Others see me in their leaders, their heroes. 

Then I’m in those who fought to help others. I am in Nelson Mandela, Martin Luther King, Susan B. Anthony, and those who helped save their people from the unjust world. I was with Carrie Nation, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, and those later on, like Malala Yousafzai and Tarana Burke, who stood with morality and supported the fight for rights. I stood behind Harvey Milk, when he tried so hard to gain acceptance for his kind and was killed for it. I am everywhere where someone spoke up to make a difference, and I am still there for those who never found their voice, and only shouted in their dreams. 

I am seen differently by everyone, but there’s not a single person who doesn’t see me. I am the night sky and the sunflowers to Van Gogh, and to today’s artists, I am his galleries in museums. I am the music to Mozart, and those songs for the musician. To George Washington I am the American people, and to the people, I am their leader. I am what they trust, and I may even be what they don’t, but wish they could. I span the globe, at home in the Balkans, the Middle East, the Americas, the small and the large, the wealthy and the poor. 

I stand in the doorway of misunderstandings and stay until it cannot be denied anymore. I am behind every conflict or fight, behind every cause and reason. I am behind every plan and every risk. And when a risk fails, I am there to pick humanity back up, to reach out a hand and pull them into something else. I am every new attempt or invention, every calloused hand and every sore muscle. I am behind every smile of relief, every tear shed over violence, every light that shines for a better future. When a question is asked, I guide the way to the answer. 

I am the ring for the widow, and the marble collection for the child. I am the crayon drawings stuck to the fridge. I am the camera for the photographer, and the sunset they capture. I am courage, I am strength. See me in the doctors, and the families in the waiting room. See me in the grimy pits of the packing factory and see me in the ramshackle hut on the edge of town. I am the pride found in mothers as they send their sons off in uniforms of green to meet death. I am determination in those plagued with illness, as they struggled to breathe again.  I leap with the hurdlers and pant with the racers. At the finish line, I hold the medals. I am the growth after a failure, and I am the struggle for triumph in another attempt. I am the laughter of the reunited, and waves farewell of the lonely. I am the reason they wait at the docks, and shores, and airports for those gone. I am the missing posters from years ago. I am the statues in courtyards and plaques in parks. I am there for every visit to the grave and every declaration of the future.  

Sometimes I’m an assurance, sometimes I’m a mask. Sometimes I am a light leading the way out of the cave, and sometimes I am only a dim, glowing candle in the middle of the dark sea. Those who say they have lost me will never be able to. I am the past to the future generations, and the future to the past generations. People will mournfully trust in me to the end, and when it comes, I will wait to greet them face to face. 

I am not good, but I can’t be evil, though some see me maliciously. I am persistence. I may be the only thing that lasts forever, and even that must stop eventually. Be assured, when it does come, there will be no one to see me go. I have been with people from the beginning, and I will be there until the end, and I will leave when they do. To answer the question following mankind since his birth, I am what makes humans, the wonderful mistakes they are. I am hope.