And The Winner Is..

My hiatus is long over

Sitting in my workroom, my hands started flying against the keyboard as every word in my brain is going on paper. As I write, several light bulbs flicker in my head, incorporating everything I thought about but making sure it was coherent.

“This is going to be my best one.” 3 months will not go to waste. 

The last sentence, the last word, the last period, the last breath I exhaled. It all meant something to me. The possibilities that this book will bring flooded my brain. A new apartment from the tattered apartment. Gaining respect from my family. Winning the competition. Actually, winning the competition would mean everything to me. More than leaving my apartment, I want to prove to myself that I can become a writer.

Finishing my book, I became conscious of my surroundings. Domino's pizza and McDonald’s burgers currently took hold in the room, the smell becoming strong yet displeasing. My desktop became the proud owner of Doritos and Pringles and bottles of soda were scattered everywhere. Sighing, I unwillingly tried to pick up my mess. The phone rang, interrupting my dreaded but needed cleanup. Without looking at the caller id, my hands etched to the green button, knowing that it was Andrew. Come to think of it, I haven’t called him in a while, nor has he.

 “Hi, sweetie. I have the most amazing news I have to share with you when I see you.” Should we do brunch tomorrow to catch up?” Sighing on his end, he replied, “Yes sure we can meet tomorrow.”

 Looking at my cleaning load, I hung up to get started. It seemed to be an impossible task as I, once again, got interrupted.

 “Are you trying to send a message here God”? The caller id read Mary Anne, my publicist. I scrunch my face, not wanting to speak to her at the moment. Knowing her though, I knew it was important. 

“I have been meaning to call you. I hope I didn’t catch you at a bad time.” 

“ No, you didn't,” I replied, kicking the empty pizza box off the sofa to sit. “Actually I was just about to inform you about some incredible news. I just finished my book. I know it’s only the first one but I believe it will help me win the competition. I was going to send it to you” The news was freshly new to me, so it earned an exciting squeaking and smiling on my end.

“Don’t get cocky,” she snarked, “ You just finished your book? The competition is two weeks away. How are you going to revise and check for errors? Are we even going to have enough time?”

Her thoughts dampened my mood as her words invaded my head. My once happy mood reduced to a sliver when her worries and concerns consumed my happiness. “Well, I can meet you tomorrow at 10 at Amelia’s. Just-“ The call got interrupted when I heard someone else calling to get on the line. “Hold on one second someone is on the other line. “ 

“Hello, who is this?” “It’s Andrew. We didn’t set the time and where we were going to meet.” His voice sounded tight, like he wanted to say something but held his tongue. “Oh yes, Andrew I’m sorry if I sounded snappy. I was on the other line before you called. We can meet at 12 at Coffee Express. “ 

“Okay see you then.” Something seemed wrong, but not dwelling on it, I returned to my publicist. Looking back, I should have asked him what was wrong. I should have said something that could have salvaged our relationship of two years. 

The morning started perfectly. Well, as perfect as it can be. My apartment went back to its original state with much-needed cleaning. I had the perfect breakfast consisting of cereal with a side of orange juice.

“It’s 9:00? I still have time to meet Mary Anne before Andrew.”

Grabbing my purse, I stepped outside, immediately hugged by the sun. The bright sun smiled at me while I was walking to Amelia’s. My face was beamed with pleasure with every passing moment. It felt like it was finally my moment to shine. After being stuck for so long, the odds were in my favor. I arrived at the restaurant, took a seat, and waited for my guest.

Knowing Mary Anne for a while, I have come to a certain conclusion that she detested tardiness. Being early was always her superpower, and she is never once late. She never exceeds the time limit nor that she arrives earlier than the destined time. It was now 9:50 am, so I know I expected her in 10 minutes, no more, no less.

Entering the restaurant in a cool manner, she immediately took notice of me and walked towards me. As she was getting closer, her face morphed into annoyance, which dissipated my smiling mood. It only took her a second to ask questions before sitting down. 

“After we talked yesterday, I looked after your book. I have to say, it’s not bad, but it could be better. I marked all parts I didn’t like in red, the parts that are okay yellow, and the best parts green. As you can see there’s quite a lot of notes. “

“Clearly.”

“What did you say?” 

“Nothing. So what exactly did you have problems with?” 

“I will start simple. The title could use a bit of a change. I mean Poisoned Love? Really?” 

“It is about the dangers of an unforeseeable love. The two characters aren’t supposed to be together. It’s pretty self-explanatory.”

“Anyways onto the next topic, the characters.”

The session went on longer than expected. Before I knew, if I was late for my meeting with Andrew. Telling Mary Anne I had to leave, I hurriedly packed her notes and fled the restaurant. Andrew and I haven’t seen each other since I started writing. For some reason, I know that if I don’t reach the cafe in time, everything might be over. Everything we built for the last two years will go down the drain. I didn’t let the pessimistic side of me come out. I restrained it with all my might and ran to the cafe, thanking myself for wearing sneakers instead of my usual heels. 

I kept running and saw Coffee Express in my view. I am sure that I was sweating all over, but I didn’t pay it to mind when I saw Andrew. His lips were turned in a frown, his face wrinkling. Checking the time, I sighed in relief.

“12:15. I am relatively early. I’m only a few minutes late.” Entering the cafe, I was immediately hit by the smell of coffee and coffee cake. Smiling, I walked up to where Andrew was sitting and sat across from him.

“Hey, Andrew. It’s been a while, hasn’t it.” I said, motioning for the waiter to get my order. 

“Yeah Rose.  I know. Don’t worry, I ordered for you. Cappuccino with coffee cake, you’re favorite.” He responded, smiling. But I knew it wasn’t a genuine smile. I smiled back, hiding my thoughts. We sat in silence. We made small talk, but for some reason, it felt uncomfortable. It felt as if Andrew didn’t want to be here with me. 

With my coffee in hand, I decided to tell him the news. 

“So I told you to meet me here because I have great news. I just finished my book for the competition. And you’ll never guess the title is. It’s Poisoned Love, the title you gave me. 

“Oh wow, Rose. Congratulations. I am so happy for you.” And he did look happy. I genuinely smiled for the first time since entering this cafe. 

Still smiling, he said “And you used my title? Are you sure it’s a good title? When I told you about it you said you wanted to go a different direction. “

“I know but while I was writing the book and making the characters, it just seemed appropriate. Plus I was thinking about you while writing.” 

His face suddenly changed. He became more serious. 

“We have to have a serious talk about us. About our relationship”

“Oh. What’s there to talk about.” 

“Rose, did you know that we haven’t talked in a while. We haven’t sat down and just been with each other.

“I mean yeah I know we’ve been busy. I am writing my book and you’re doing stuff. 

He shook his head, his eyes holding disappointment. 

“Do you know what’s been happening to me lately?”

“What do you mean?” 

I got a new job and moved out of my apartment.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

Because we haven’t seen each other in a while.”

“It hasn’t been that long. It’s been about a month or two. But it’s because of my book, you know that.”

“It’s been 4 months.”

“What?”

It’s been 4 months since we saw each other. Haven’t you realized that we have spoken in 4 months?”

Has it really been that long? I was about to speak, but he interrupted me.

“You’ve been so busy with your work that you haven’t realized we haven’t talked in months. You completely neglected me. Do you even care about me?

“How can you say that? Of course, I care about you.

I felt a tear leave my eye. His hand gently came to my cheek to wipe my uncontrollable tears.My hands held his wrist. I tried to hold his hand in mine, trying to make him remember everything we’ve been through. 

“ Remember Christmas when you sent me to your parent’s cabin? We had the most amazing time skiing, having hot chocolate by the fire, and watching Netflix. It was the best time I had in a long time. And fourth of July when you sent my family to the Grand Canyon? Come Andrew you have to remember everything.”

“ Did you even realize that everything you said was me doing something for you? When have you done something for me.?” He had a pained look on his face, as if he just now came to that conclusion. As if he thought I never cared for him.

“No, no Andrew that’s not true. I did a lot for you. Andrew please. You have to believe me okay? I love you.”

“No, you don’t. That’s the problem. I loved you more than you loved me. And that’s okay. We were growing apart for a while, even before you got sucked into writing. We can still be friends. I’ll even support you during the competition. 

I wanted to protest, but there was no point. He obviously made up his mind. So I did what a normal ex-girlfriend would do. 

“You don’t need to do that. If we’re going to break up it’s best if we don't see each other for a while.” My voice was wavering, betraying my words. Before I can be humiliated further, I left the cafe without looking back, knowing that if I looked back, I couldn’t help but throw myself into his arms, begging him to give me another chance. 

Two weeks into our breakup and my life has been hell. I thought about what I could’ve done better. I thought about what Andrew said about me not doing anything for him during the course of our relationship. He was right. I haven’t don’t anything for him. The day of the competition came when it was time to announce the winner of the competition. At this point, I didn’t care. I wanted to be with Andrew when I received the news. Instead, Mary Anne came over to my home and stayed with me until it was time to announce the winner. 

“It’s almost time. The results come at 12:00 pm. If you win Rose, this has the potential to change your life.” 

“I just want to be with Andrew. I miss him so much.” 

Mary Anne ignored me, logging into my computer to check my mail. 

“Rose. You won. You actually won.”

My head quickly snapped to me on the computer, fixing my eyes on the screen and reading the mail I just received. 

“Congratulations Ms.Jackson. You are the winner of the 65th annual writing awards! You will receive the the grand prize of $10,000 later this week, as well as a chance to meet with a publishing agency to discuss your book. Congratulations on your success. “

Oh my God. I won. I actually won. 

Jumping into Mary Anne arms, I hugged her tightly, finally being about to smile in two weeks. She was taken aback, but she quickly wrapped her arms around me, and I could feel her forming a smile. My high only lasted for a few minutes though. I held my phone in my hand, wanting to tell Andrew. Mary Anne ripped the phone out of my hands. Hugging me, she said,

“It’s going to be okay, Rose. It’s going to be okay.

And a little part of me believed that.