Living The Lie

Screams from the living room sent Sarah away from the dishes to break up the disturbance from her children.

“Elizabeth, don’t hit your little brother.”

Billy wanted the Doll Elizabeth laid down while playing on a smartphone.

“But Mommy!”

Elizabeth protested as Sarah removed the Doll from her daughter’s hand and returned it to Billy.

“Why can’t he play with your doll?”

“He’s a boy!”

Billy was one. Who knows why he was interested in the Doll? Perhaps it was the blond hair or how the arms and legs moved. Maybe it reminded him of his mother.

Squealing from the smoke detector detracted her from a teaching moment. The heat-and-serve pizza was only fit to be a burnt offering to an unnamed God.

“Damit.” She muttered where her children couldn’t hear her.

PBJ for her and Elizabeth and Cheerios for Billy would suffice until they napped.

I hope Elizabeth will nap when I put Billy down, She thought.

The aroma of peanut butter reminded her of her college days. PBJ was a staple. Those days before kids, when finals and essays were the burdens of her concerns, seemed like a million years ago.

The nap was short-lived when a ringing doorbell woke Barney. The barking and the doorbell echoed off the walls as Elizabeth woke to Billy’s crying. “Mommy, Billy stinks.”

The postman almost seemed apologetic as he had her sign for a letter. “Have a good day.” He said. A registered letter from the car dealership. Perfect!

One more diaper for the landfill and a snuggle from Billy made it worth it.

Tripping over shoes, Sarah’s tone with Elizabeth caused her to pout.

While rocking Billy, she attempted to get Elizabeth to understand where her clothes and shoes belonged.

A talking sponge entertained them while she cleaned the stove from the morning’s oatmeal spill.

Robert returned from work to a loud TV, clutter on the floor, the odor of the diaper pail, and a barking dog ready for a walk.

He saw the overdue bill and cursed under his breath.

“The dog needs food and water, Sarah. What the heck?”

If looks could kill, she would be in prison.

He knew that face. He reached for the crunchies for the dog and filled up its water bowl. Beating a hasty retreat, he went to take Barny for a walk. He might have a longer walk than usual. He thought.

“Take Elizabeth with you.” He heard from the kitchen.

Robert struggled with her shoes, as she wanted to wear shoes that didn’t match. Robert gave in to the pressure as the phone rang. It was the city looking for the water bill payment.

Robert knew better than to say a word. When Billy began to cry, he stopped arguing with Elizabeth. “Yes, the two different color shoes make you look elegant; let’s go.”

The chaos wasn’t over. Billy didn’t like the food she attempted to push into his chubby cheeks. As one spoonful went in, two came out.

“You win; Apple sauce it is.”

The front door opened with Barny, Elizabeth, and Robert. The clinking of Barney’s tags was a familiar sound she was used to in the middle of the night.

The oven timer reminded her of yet another heat-and-serve pizza that was pre-vulcanized.

He smelled the toasty concoction that was turning into a staple.

“Do women ever cook anymore?” Robert asked.

Sarah knew better than to respond to his question.

As the last battle to reclaim the living room from the anarchy of clothes, half-dressed kids, shoes, toys, and blocks drew to a close, that magic hour of 8pm chimed on the mantle clock.

They both breathed a sigh of relief. The knot in her stomach seemed to loosen as they prepared for the nightly routine of bedtime.

“Bedtime,” Sarah announced. Robert glanced at Sarah; putting his paper down, he grabbed Billy, and she took Elizabeth.

Nighttime stories were always the same, a bit of a respite from the day. She knew them all by heart. Reading in the dim light was never a problem. Elizabeth’s breathing turned slow and steady, and her angelic face warmed her heart.

“And they lived happily ever after,” She whispered.

She glanced around her child’s bedroom. Piles of clothes that were never put away adorned almost every flat surface. She felt like a failure. Elizabeth still didn’t understand the importance of putting clean clothes away.

Sarah couldn’t help but contrast her life with those same stories her mom had read to her as a child. Lies, she thought.

Robert joined her in the living room. He helped to pick up the mess. Stepping on a block in the middle of the night could wake the household from cursing.

“There are rumors of a layoff at the plant,” He said.

The knot in her stomach tightened with those words. Nausea from the pizza and the thought of living off credit cards was too much.

Paycheck-to-paycheck financing was tough enough. What would they do if Robert lost his job? Why did they go to college and be slaves to the whims of rich folks who don’t care about anything other than the bottom line? What about those student loans? Why did we do it? She thought.

“Are you looking for something else?”

He muted the TV and stared at her. “Jobs are tough to find. Yes, I am looking, but I see nothing out there with my skills. Those damned robots are taking our jobs.”

She thought about the kids asking $15 an hour to flip burgers.

“Those robots never go on strike, call in sick, or sexually harass other employees. You need to go back to sales. Our degrees are in marketing; go sell something.”

“Sell what?”

She stared at him. “You love that Tesla so much. Sell those.”

“You want me to be a car salesperson?”

“Better than sitting on your ass.”

The stress of the day and his news were too much. Wine or a bath? Wait, wine and a bath…

The washer held her clothes covered in baby food, pee from when she didn’t cover Billy quickly enough, and smoke from the burnt pizza. She tossed the baby monitor in his lap and stomped toward the bathroom. “When you hear the water stop from the tub, please turn on the washer for me. It already has soap.”

“I am looking at the help wanted ads.”

He wasn’t prince charming, and she didn’t feel like Snow White.

“Great, you can do both. Trust me.”

The noise from the squeaky hot water valve echoed into the living room.

Bubbles covered most of her as she slid under them. Scented candles created a relaxing oasis from life.

She heard Billy crying and Robert fussing that he couldn’t find the topical stuff for his gums. She chuckled. How would he handle my job for a while?

Social media on her phone had pictures of her friends from college. Vacations to elaborate places, kids dressed in expensive clothes, and the perfect house with the picket fence.

Laura, her roommate, had a perfect life. From social media accounts, she married prince charming, lived in a castle, and had servants to care for everything. Did her frog turn into the real deal?

Sarah sent her a message.

Sun up the next day started the same as hundreds of days before. Life was a loop, a circle of unending cycles and a slow progression toward death.

It seemed as if God had turned his back on her. Naptime and bedtime were her two favorite times of the day.

Weeks away from Thanksgiving, Robert came home at noon. He witnessed the bedlam in real-time. Screams filtered through the closed door as he stood on the porch. Elizabeth decided she didn’t want to take a nap. Throwing toys at Billy seemed to be the catalyst for the high-pitched tantrum.

The dog barking, the baby crying, and Elizabeth acting out made Robert want to turn around and leave. Sarah spotted him through the open door and pointed at Elizabeth.

The dog in the backyard, the baby down for a nap, and Elizabeth, in timeout set the stage for an uncomfortable conversation.

“Why this time of year?”

“It’s winter, not a lot of demand. They use this time of year to re-tool, save on salaries, and restock on supplies.”

“And add more robots, no doubt. What about our supplies? Money doesn’t grow on trees.”

He shrugged, “I will apply for unemployment like last year. This company uses the taxpayer’s money to keep us from going totally broke. They adjust for the lack of demand during the winter. We also have credit available. I am sure something will open up at the beginning of the year.”

Sarah thought back to last Christmas. Shopping for the cheapest toys and not looking for anything for each other. Not having money to go to her folk’s house for Christmas was just too much to suffer through again.

She peered at Robert, who was attempting to work the crossword puzzle.

“Make you a deal. First one of us to get a job, the other stays home and plays mommy or Mr. Mommy.”

His eyebrows became one as he stared at her.

“You can’t be serious. You could never make the money I make.”

Sarah bit her tongue. They lived beyond their means. His car was a luxury they could not afford. “Do we have a deal or not?”

About the time he was set to debate her, the baby monitor stopped any further conversation.

Sarah handed him the monitor. “Practice; you’ll need it.”

She pulled her phone out and sent a one-word text to Laura. “Lunch?”

Friday of that week, Robert noticed her dressed in business attire.

“Where are you headed?”

“Lunch with Laura. You remember her?”

“Your roommate, of course. You’re not taking the kids?”

She chuckled and stared at him. “No, have fun. Elizabeth has a follow-up with the ear doctor at two. Where are the keys to the Tesla?”

“My car?”

“The Tesla. The stroller, car seats, and diaper bag don’t fit in that car. You will need the minivan.”

Sarah chuckled as she hopped into his car. When the vehicle knew who was driving, things whirred and groaned as everything adjusted for her.

***

“Why did you stop working?” Laura asked.

“With two kids, it made sense for one of us to stay home. Robert is getting a taste of my days right now.”

Laura laughed. “Dan works with your husband; he is also home with our kids.”

“Did they lay him off too?”

She nodded. “We both work. With Dan out of work, why pay for daycare?”

“Your vacation photos and all those smiles on social media. You have it made.”

“Fake, it’s a lie. Our customers troll social media and want to see successful people, not reality.”

Sarah nodded as she tossed her salad around while poking at the croutons. “None of that is real?”

She chuckled, “It’s my face, and the kids are dressed nicely, but just long enough to capture the photo. We leave the kids with his parents or mine for a week of vacation alone to regain some sense of sanity and who we are. Those photos are authentic enough, just out of context.”

Sarah sipped on her tea. She glanced around the place, looking at all the young professionals drinking expensive coffee.

“What are you thinking?” Laura asked.

She peered at Laura. “Is your company hiring?”

“You?”

She nodded. “I don’t want to wait until the new year to see if the plant hires again. Credit card debt is money wasted.”

Laura grabbed the check from Sarah. “My treat. That’s why we both work. Your degree was in marketing, wasn’t it?”

Sarah nodded. “I miss the corporate world.”

Laura smiled. “You miss conversations that don’t end in a screaming match, I bet.”

She chuckled, “It would be nice to go out to eat and not worry about cutting someone’s meat for them.”

“What, you mean you actually want a warm meal? How silly of you.”

Laura said as she laughed.

Sarah smiled at her and giggled. “Yeah, that.”

“I have missed you. I miss us. Listen, we picked up a new company and are assembling a team. I think you would be perfect for it.”

“Not just because we’re friends?”

Laura shook her head. “No, I know you and what you can do. Hiring you would make me look good.”

Sarah smiled as she picked at some bread. “What’s the product?”

“A new fashion designer specializing in working women’s clothes. I would bet you could get a full line of clothes at cost.”

Sarah laughed. “You mean something like ‘from pampers to pinstripes.’”

Laura smiled. “Exactly!”

“I would love a challenge like that. Let me talk it over with Robert.”

Laura peered at her. “My budget for this position is pretty good. If your husband makes what mine does, I can probably double his salary.”

Her eyes widened. “Really?”

“Really, and I will give you a signing bonus.”

“You’re on.”

Laura smiled. “Come back to the office; we can start the paperwork.”

Sarah was gleeful. That knot in her stomach was gone for the first time since Billy was born.

Lunch turned into an all-afternoon session, including meeting the team. When she pulled into the garage beside the minivan, the sun was close to setting. Plugging the car into the charger as she had seen him do many times, she admired the car’s sleek lines.

Robert’s Tesla lacked sticky fingerprints, spilled drinks, or left-over fries from the golden arches. You would never know he was a family man unless he told you.

She had to choose between rubbing his face in her news or being gracious.

He had told her he would be the breadwinner, and she would do what women did before her. Keep the house, raise the kids, and ensure dinner is on the table. He would do the hard work.

The charm in her prince had worn thin, and those built-in patterns from his grandmother on down were from a different era.

Nah, this is my time. I am free, Sarah thought.

***

She could hear the noise before she ever opened the door. She paused momentarily when she detected the odor of something burning in the oven. The smoke detector echoed off the walls. She turned around and sat on the front porch swing.

“Mommy lets me take my stuff from him!” She heard from behind the door. Elizabeth had a temper, and it sounded like Robert had found that out.

Billy was crying, and the dog was barking. Her stomach turned over, and she couldn’t enter the chaos.

Searching for the local pizza place, she removed the sticky fingerprints from her phone, which seemed symbolic.

After thirty minutes of listening to the pandemonium inside, the man with the pizza arrived to see her sitting on the porch.

“I would have rung the bell,” he said.

She pointed to the door where the sounds of the war were playing out. “I wouldn’t have heard you.”

He chuckled as they traded cash for the pizza.

Opening the door, the sight of pizza and Sarah interrupted the battle, calling for a ceasefire.

“Mommy!” she heard

Carefully stepping over the land mines of plastic blocks, shoes, dolls, and clothing, she searched for Robert’s face. He was busy putting out a fire in the oven.

“Baking soda works well for that,” she said.

He looked at the pizza boxes still in her hands through the smoke in the kitchen.

“You knew this would happen.”

“Robert, it’s easy. Any woman can do it. If you want to shut the alarm off, you might try airing out the house.”

The cool November air filtered in through the open windows, with the aroma of freshly cooked pizza replacing the burnt odor.

“Did you have fun today?” She asked her daughter.

She nodded, telling her that Daddy had locked the keys in the car. They had to get building security to unlock the van.

He shook his head and got up to go outside when she stopped him. “Where are you headed off to? This house is a wreck.”

“You’re home. I am going to plug the car in.”

“I already took care of that. Get the kids to help you pick up.”

“Me?”

She nodded. “I start a new job on Monday. This weekend I will give you the schedule for doctor’s visits, dance lessons, and … I might even hook you up with Mother’s Day out on Wednesdays.

He smiled as if he thought she was kidding.

“A day off? Is that when you catch up on your programs?”

She laughed, shaking her head. “No, that’s when I buy groceries, pay bills, and do laundry.”

Robert’s pinched lips and frown lines were almost laughable.

“I am certain I will be back at work next year. That’s just a few weeks away.”

“Right now, you have a Job. Look on the bright side. You can get caught up on your daytime TV shows, chat with your friends on the phone, and play video games. Besides, a boy needs a father figure in his life.”

“You’re joking, right? You replaced my salary?”

“No,” she admitted.

He smirked.

“I doubled it.”

His eyes widened. “Doubled?”

Sarah grabbed the paperwork from her purse and set it on the table. Robert was astonished.

Billy’s diaper was long overdue for a change when she picked him up, taking him to his room.

“The rating on these diapers is for the baby’s weight, not how many pounds it will hold,” She said.

Sarah sealed Robert’s fate. She had broken the mold and changed her predestination. If Robert could find work, they could live a lie like her boss. Until then, he was Mr. Mom.