"this is not the way how I want to live ,this is not the way how I want to feel it anymore",one day I woke up and said this to myself. I looked into the mirror and really wondered myself that how am I living? I thought "my life is without any motto where I am just left with killing my childhood dream and what I expected from my life never got that. I am just living a life killing my innerself and taking breaths without happiness." I sat down recalling my childhood memories . When I was 5 years old I saw a police officer as a cheif guest in our school function and when I returned back home and asked my dad about him and he replied that " it's very much proud moment to be a police officer" and then I asked him that who can be a police officer? Can I be? He replied that" yes anyone , you have to clear an exam and here you are as A Police Officer." From that day I always wanted to be a police officer and when I was child I was always searching the moment to behave as a officer. Making guns of paper was my regular fun and how stubborn I was for having a boy haircut. I was single child of my parents and too a girl. I used to always ask my dad that why am I not having any brother? He always used to smile replying that 'you are my son as well as my daughter.' and my gosh I can't tell how proud I used to feel while hearing this. In our village girls were not taught while I regular y went to school, girls used to do household works while I never did that, girls were not allowed to dream while mine was really sky touching, girls were married at a small age while my parents never thought of this, girls used to wear salwaar-kameez, a typical indian dress which shows the good teachings in girls while I used to wear pants and shirts. I was a super privileged girl because my dad was highly literate but due to some family issues he could not go to city for job but it was his dream to make me a police officer. Both my mom and dad were highly supportive and I never thought of living like this .
Suddenly, my mom- in- law entered in and shouted in a super rude way saying that" how stupid you are! Don't you know that you were supposed to cook breakfast for the family . You are really good for nothing. Remember it that we are favouring you by giving you a place to live and food to eat. Now come and do All the work". I did the same along with cleaning the house , washing utensils, washing cloths, cutting vegetables for lunch.
Before marriage I was living in a small village called khedli in western India. Me and my family were happily living there with a dream of making me a police officer. I never did household work and was busy in studies. All was going well . When I was 17 my family decided to send me to city for the preparation of police examination. My father took loan for the same and whatever small savings he did his whole life spent for my studies. We were left with nothing except my dad's job as a postman.The next week I was to move to the city for further studies. Although we were left with no money but my parents were extremely happy that now my dream is going to become real.
At night about 11, while we were having dinner, my dad got a heart attack and he fainted. It was really the darkest night. It was raining heavily and my dad had a cycle onto which me and my mom struggled to take him to the hospital which was 4 km away from our house. On the way I lost my dad and my mom lost his husband. Rain had stopped and it was silence all around except the painful crying of me and my mom. It was like everything broke in the last 15 minutes. Me and my mom were totally shattered. We did not know what to do next. With the small savings from which I was to go to the city we did complete my dad's funeral ceremony. My mom was broken and we did not have money for food even. My mom fixed my marriage in her with a boy who was uneducated and did not know how to respect womens as now it was impossible to study further and my mom was not sure about her future so she married me so that I can have food and shelter atleast. And at that time I could see my mom very tensed for me so did not denied for the marriage and did it. After a month of my marriage my mom too passed away.
My in laws were more like animals and did not know how to respect womens. I was a serious victim of domestic violence. I was daily tortured by them . I was very much depressed now. My life was like hell and what I dreamt my life was just opposite of that. I wanted to end my life but then I remember my dad's dream of seeing me as a police officer. My dad always used to say that never ever do bad and bear bad. So how could I bear this? 'No I won't ' a reply came into my mind. "There will always remain a guilt into my mind that I did not become a police officer" said to myself. I thought if today I will not take any step then the whole life I have to live with regret.
So one day I decided not to give up and finally I ran away from there and moved to a small nearby city where I got a job as a school teacher and earned my living there. I took a room on rent there where in the day time I used to earn small amount of money from which I buyed books and stationary and in the night time I used to study very hard. I put all my blood and sweat in studying . There also I had to do hard struggle but it was much better to be a housewife where I was starving for respect and independency. Now was the time when a hope came where I could be an officer and could fulfill my parents dream. And finally the day came when all my sacrifices ,all my problems and all my sadness went away when I called myself Police Officer. I was a proud daughter of my proud parents. I know if my parents were alive they would be damn happy. After that I lived my life with respect, independently, and hapily. That day I understood that if others dont change , change yourself to change the world. And never ever let problems badly affect you.
If plan A does not work go for plan B but dont sacrifices your goal.