Spiritual Guidance

Six years ago, life had changed for Elizabeth through disappointing occurrences. Her relationship ended due to an affair Edward, of eleven years, decided to involve himself.

She had read numerous articles where they expressed how rekindling a love is by remembering and talking about how they fell in love and the best times they had with each other.  Elizabeth arranged for a sitter for her son, Zachary, to spend the evening trying to get her relationship back to how it began.

One of the best times Edward and Elizabeth ever had was spent singing Karaoke. Edward was all for having a night out, and they arrived before the DJ beginning.

Elizabeth felt out of sorts during the time engaged in conversations. Everyone continued looking in her direction and away when she turned to look their way. It was unsettling.

By the time she sang her third song and played her second game of pool, Elizabeth felt angry. She played the game as though she was hitting every person she knew, who seemed to be avoiding her. The funny thing about it, she won the following two games.

Elizabeth watched the room as she played pool, sang songs, and played Mahjong. She noticed Edward, at regular intervals, spending time with a woman who sat at the end of the counter, drinking glasses of (believe it or not) wine. The negative thought that entered Elizabeth's head was, who drinks wine in a bar where people drank beer or mixed drinks?

The out-of-place feeling Elizabeth had all evening never left. To her, it was like everyone knew something about her that she did not know. She tried letting it go and have the best time she could. She socialized and asked Edward to dance when she could get his attention.

Edward and Elizabeth left that night and spent time together for the next week. Life seemed to be going in the right direction. She was happy and enjoying her days.

Two weeks after the Karaoke night, Edward started spending nights out while she stayed home with Zachary. It was one night where she stayed up until she passed out. Her alarm went off, and she did her normal morning routine, knowing Edward never came home.

She was at work when she received a message from her supervisor that there was an emergency phone call. Elizabeth had no reaction and read the phone number. It was Zachary’s babysitter. She called, and Dominique told her that Zachary had been throwing up for an hour and felt Elizabeth should pick him up.

Elizabeth was driving down the road when she spotted Edward standing next to a woman across from their apartment. To Elizabeth, it seemed they were having a conversation and standing way too close together than natural. Elizabeth slowed the car and watched as an expression of shock came across Edward’s face.

Elizabeth and Zachary went in, and it was not long before Edward walked in. He started right away with excuses as to why he was talking to the woman. Elizabeth took care of Zachary and ignored Edward’s excuses.

While Zachary slept, Elizabeth prepared dinner. Her mind was full of questions and answers to those questions. Her own analysis of what she felt was going on. She knew what was happening and, deep inside, knew what needed to be done but did not know how to approach Edward with the finalizing of their years together and splitting up a family.

Edward left that night without telling her where he was going. Elizabeth watched him as he got ready and said nothing as he walked out the door. She had no idea if he would be home. She did know she really did not care. She busied herself with cleaning and organizing the apartment. When she was done, she sat and read. When she noticed it was time for bed, she kneeled and prayed.

“God, I need guidance. It has been weeks, if not months, that Edward and I have been having difficulties. I need you to assist with how I am supposed to go on with my life. I honestly feel I could not live with a man who spent evenings out and sleeping with other women. I have never thought of straying from him. I love him, but I find myself falling out of love the more he leaves me alone raising Zachary, and I never know if or when he will return.

Please, God, I am asking for your help. If you know of anyone with who he is romantic, can you make him realize he needs to leave? I would prefer him to leave me than me leaving him. I chose to be with Edward, but he has decided he needs someone else to fulfill his needs and wants.

Please protect Zachary. Please guide me to where I need to be for our future. Amen”

The morning came, and Elizabeth watched as Edward came through the door. She ignored him once again while he made the excuse that he fell asleep in the park due to drinking too much. She got Zachary ready and then herself and left for work without saying anything to Edward. She kept telling herself silently, “If I have nothing nice to say, I will not say it.”

Elizabeth continued being cautious with her words and not being emotional about Edward’s evenings out and not coming home. She paid attention to Zachary and dealing with his rebellious attitude. Elizabeth knew Zachary sensed changes in the family’s routines. She knew he had someone he was seeing.

Elizabeth prayed every night and asked for God’s guidance and assistance in the situations that were going on in her family.

It was seven months later, Easter weekend when Elizabeth spent Good Friday kneeling and praying for the three hours 12:00-3:00 pm, asking God to send someone to intervene.

Six days after she prayed, life changed dramatically.

With having so many issues about Zachary and Edward, Elizabeth felt she was losing her mind. Nothing she did ever seemed to be the right thing to do. Children Welfare got involved, and when Edward lost his temper towards Zachary, they removed Zachary from the apartment with a 72-hour return after a court appearance.

Edward and Elizabeth appeared in court, and both were taken off guard by being told that they each needed attorneys. Elizabeth was to go to the Public Defender’s office, and Edward was sent to Legal Aid for an attorney. They were told to appear in court in three months.

Seven weeks later, Edward packed his bags and moved out of the apartment to be with his female companion.

They reappeared in court and were told that the date was being moved another three months due to the Children’s Welfare’s attorney was not present due to an emergency.

Elizabeth spiraled into a major depression and began drinking and calling into work. She lost her job after repeatedly missing days. It was not long before she was behind in her rent and was being evicted.

Zachary was placed in a group home during this period, and when they reappeared in court after 180 days, the judge once again gave three months for them to return due to Elizabeth not having a proper place for her and Zachary.

At the time of adjusting to her situation, Elizabeth found herself fighting depression and still drinking heavily. She spoke with a Community Service Department and was given a chance to change things by spending time at a women’s apartment building. Strict rules ended up causing her to be asked to leave, and when she was packed and not knowing where to go, she decided to take the medications she had been given for her depression to end her life. She was at the pharmacy when she bought a water bottle and stood outside taking the pills she had. When she was on the last bottle, Elizabeth got scared and called 911. An ambulance found her passed out on the cement walkway near the phone booth.

Elizabeth woke in the hospital with a nurse’s aide sitting in a chair watching her. When she opened her eyes, he said, “Welcome back to the living. The next couple of hours will be awful, but you will be alright.”

She spent 2 weeks in the psychiatric ward when they suggested she go to a rehabilitation facility. She agreed and spent the next 3 weeks there. When she met with the counselor and explained all that had occurred, the counselor suggested she admit herself into a 6-month program.

Elizabeth knew after hours of counseling that it was the right thing to do. She agreed and was transferred the next Monday. She continued to contact her attorney, and when she reappeared in front of the judge, her attorney spoke for her. Since Edward had decided not to appear, the judge accepted the circumstances Elizabeth was in. He gave the next court date for another three months. It would be halfway through her 6-month stay at the rehabilitation facility.

Elizabeth found the rehabilitation facility worthwhile. She was able to work on her own internal and external issues and was able to earn income. It was low income, but she was able to buy her necessities, and occasionally she purchased a special gift for herself or a gift for Zachary. Elizabeth also found herself getting back into her religion. She accepted that God was guiding her in the way she was supposed to go and how it would help her and Zachary. She found herself not thinking about Edward at all. She accepted the fact he was no longer to be a part of her future.

Children’s Welfare set up visiting times with her after 30-days of the rehabilitation stay. Elizabeth enjoyed every second she spent with Zachary. It was difficult on both her and Zachary when he had to leave, but Zachary was now with a Foster Family and seeing a psychiatrist. (Elizabeth tried for a year to get someone to work with him) Elizabeth was very thankful for the changes happening for Zachary.

Elizabeth prayed every morning and night for the 6-months she was at the rehabilitation facility. She noticed that spiritually, God was guiding her. When it was a month before she was to leave the rehabilitation facility, she was offered a room in a house to rent. She applied to a few places near the house and had a job the Monday following her moving in.

Working with her attorney and Children’s Welfare, she had dates and appointments scheduled. God had a plan, and she was allowing him to guide her.

There were periods of ups and downs for Elizabeth after moving into the house and paying for room and board, but she continued having a positive attitude that all would work out. She continued her visits with Zachary, and after working and living there, she finally had unsupervised visits. These unsupervised visits lasted a couple of months when the caseworker an overnight with Zachary.

Talisha came and dropped Zachary off on Friday evening. She was to pick him up on Sunday morning. As things would have it, Zachary hurt his toe from the bedroom door on Saturday night. His toenail had been scraped off, and, of course, the way Children’s Welfare was concerned, it did not look good for Elizabeth.

The other occupant at the house who paid for room and board was a major troublemaker. He had caused Elizabeth so much aggravation that she started to look for an apartment for her and Zachary. She wanted the apartment to be near where he was in foster care, so she spent time at the library when she got out of work.  

She started looking at apartments in the area where Zachary was in school. So many of them were out of her price range, and since she did not have a vehicle, she had to look at the bus schedules. She noticed the traveling was time-consuming, so she started applying to jobs closer to where the apartment would be located.

Elizabeth was back doing unsupervised visits with Zachary, and the weekend he was supposed to be spending the day with her coincided with time looking for an apartment. She spoke with Talisha and worked out that they would meet in that area.

Zachary and Elizabeth walked most of the visit when they came upon a sign: Apartment for rent - right near the Elementary school where Zachary was enrolled.

Elizabeth noticed that every time something positive happened, there was a curveball sent to her. She filled out the application for the apartment, and the landlord was hesitant until she agreed to meet him in person. She agreed, only if he had his wife, or the secretary of his business, be with him. Her trust in men was at a low. She didn’t know if it was her suggestion or her professionalism, but he agreed to rent the apartment to her.

She had three weeks left at the house she paid for room and board. She let the owner know, and he was happy for her. (A surprise to her)

The week after she signed the paperwork to rent the apartment, the place she was employed told her they were closing their doors. She was going to be unemployed.

Elizabeth was thankful she had been frivolous, but she also knew she would need to be employed before moving into the apartment. She was to be in front of the judge in a month, and she needed to show him she had an apartment and a job proving she could take care of Zachary.

Through a temp agency, Elizabeth was nervous, but she also knew she would continue sending her resume out while she was working. The Wednesday before moving into the apartment, she went for an interview and was hired. She was thankful for the job considering she would have monthly rent and utility bills to pay.

She put her faith and belief in God to guide her and Zachary’s future. With the consistency of making sure she and Zachary would be alright, Elizabeth regained custody of Zachary after 2 years and 7 months.

With what some people would say are coincidences and what Elizabeth calls Spiritual Guidance, Elizabeth made a home for her and Zachary.

  The End