Hobby Hoarder

Vacuuming around the circular model train set left there from two Christmases ago, Jabe says to absolutely no one, “It makes more sense when the Christmas tree is in the middle, but oh well.” He dusts a few of the pieces, shrugs, and moves on. Monopolizing the table in front of the sofa sits a display case housing a variety of coins. Taking a cloth sprayed with window cleaner, Jabe wipes the front of it until all cola splatter is gone and it is shining. Stepping back from his canvas paintings, he straightens the off-kilter ones. Jabe works like this until everything in the house is in its place and clean, or clean enough. 

See the truth is, Jabe has been seeing Izzy for a little over three months but has never invited her to his house. They have gone out places, and she had him over to her place, but she has never been to his house. He is comfortable with her and can see this going somewhere, so he took the plunge and invited her to dinner tonight. Looking around the house, he shakes his head and silently hopes she understands and is not scared off. 

Jabe flips the meat to be sure it is marinating thoroughly, preps what he needs for the meal, then jumps in the shower. Passing the spare bedroom on his way back to the kitchen, he sees the 1959 Fender electric guitar leaning against the table holding his two vintage accordions. He hangs the guitar back on the wall and steps back to admire it. An old Harmonica, tambourine, xylophone, and two wooden recorders are in a display case that he obviously forgot to clean. 

Ding dong. He tries to shake off the queasiness in his stomach as he goes to the door. Get it together man he encourages himself. Taking her coat he drapes it across the chair.

“You have a beautiful home,” Izzy says. “May I?” she asks, pointing toward the train.

“Yeah, sure. It’s a former hobby. It runs around the Christmas tree, but of course, it being March, the tree isn’t there.”

She nods. “I don’t recall you mentioning any hobbies.”

“Oh, you know.” 

Her eyes look to the wall where the canvas paintings are hanging. “There are so many.” She walks to the wall for a closer look. “These are exceptional. Who painted them?”

Swallowing hard, Jabe says, “Me. Uh, another former hobby.”

Cutting her eyes at him she smiles. “I see.”

“Come, have a seat. Can I get you a drink?”

“Yes. Water will be fine, thanks.”

Upon entering the kitchen he takes a deep breath. Telling himself to calm down he grabs two bottles of water from the fridge and pulls the meat out and sets it on the counter. When he walks back into the room he wants to crawl under the sofa. Izzy is looking at his coin collection. He hands her the bottle of water, and their eyes meet.

A smirk forms. “Another former hobby?” Izzy asks and busts out laughing. Not sure if she is laughing at him or with him, he laughs too. “Jabe, is there something you want to tell me?”

“Uh. Yeah. I have a small problem. I jump all in when I start a new hobby. I get excited thinking I have finally found the hobby for me. I spend lots of time and money, get a good collection going, then become disinterested. I have no idea why. I’ve been doing this since I was a young kid. It all started with the little plastic army men.” Figuring this will either make or break the relationship, he takes her by the hand. “Come with me.” 

He leads her to one of the spare bedrooms, the one with the Fender guitar. A table, covered in something green and the size of a ping pong table, sits in the middle of the room. Various size bottles with tiny ships inside are displayed on half of the table. The aforementioned plastic army men were strategically set up facing the bottled ships. Brows furrowed and sucking her bottom lip, she turns to Jabe.

“It’s actually the platform for the model train layout. Since I didn’t get everything set up yet I just use it to display the others.” Quietly she walks from former hobby to former hobby. 

“Feel free to look around the house when you are through in here, there is plenty more.” Not sure if it is disgust or curiosity he is sensing, he leaves her to look and goes to the kitchen. 

Izzy finishes her tour of the house as Jabe is placing the salad on the table. Her jaw drops. A spice rack almost as tall as Jabe hangs on the wall. More oils than Izzy knows exist sit on a three-tier rack on the counter: olive, extra virgin olive, coconut, roasted black walnut, avocado, hot chili-infused, and the list goes on. Metal shelves hold a blender, mixer, and other appliances and cooking gadgets too. Eyes wide Izzy looks at him.

Jabe shrugs meekly. “Did you know cooking is a hobby too?” He pulls out the chair for Izzy and hopes she will sit instead of run out the door. Jabe begins to think she may be a professional poker player. Placing the steaks on the table next to the garlic butter potatoes, he still wonders if she will stay or go. She sits. Marinated mushrooms, fresh green beans, and knotted butter rolls complete the meal.

“Help yourself. I hope you like it.” Jabe says as he offers her the basket of rolls.

“Mmmm. Very good.” Cocking her head and squinting, she continues, “I was thinking as I looked around. I know exactly what your hobby should be.”

“Oh really. Do you think I need to try something else? It already looks like…”

Izzy finishes his sentence, “a museum in here.” 

He chuckles. “Exactly.” 

“Right. That should be your next hobby, opening a small museum. You won’t have to spend much money in the beginning because you already have so much stuff.”

“Hmm. I don’t have a very good success rate sticking with a hobby.”

“I will help you. It can be our hobby.”

“What if I get bored with it and it ends up like all my other former hobbies?”

“I’ll be here to encourage you and help. If you get tired of it, we will hire someone to run it for us.” 

“So you’re sticking around? My quirks aren’t going to scare you off?”

“I have quirks too.”

Sitting on the sofa after dinner, the conversation returns to Jabe’s former hobbies.

“I must say though, you gave finding a hobby your best effort. Never have I seen so many interests in one home: stamps, baseball cards, knives, old books, puzzles, records, and so much more. There is stuff everywhere. You’ve definitely tried.”

“I guess I finally figured out my hobby.”

“What’s that?”

“I’m a natural at collecting hobbies.”