Hide And Seek

“One, two, three, four, five…”

Hide-and-Seek. It was her life. Mary knew nothing more. Counting the days until she could find. Until Phil would stop being ‘it’. “Wait your turn,” they said. Mary couldn’t wait. She needed Phil to find someone. The children never knew what they were looking for. Ginny left when she found a doll. Justin left when he found a blanket. What would Mary even be looking for? She didn’t know. If Phil could find something, then it’d be her turn. They were told that Hide-and-Seek could save them. Mary didn’t know what she needed to be saved from but she wanted to be saved. 

Phil finished. He found it. A rusted tricycle in the backyard of an old man. It was finally Mary’s turn. 

“Find the last thing from your childhood.”

***

Mary didn’t understand. The lady led her away from the Yard and into the House. Wasn’t she still a child? She was seven years old. The lady led her into a room she’d never seen before. It was small, dark, and warm. Mary coughed as dust tickled her nose. The lady patted the chair and Mary climbed onto it. There was a loud click and suddenly a screen was illuminated. The lady started up a video and told Mary to watch.

There was a lady in the video. A woman Mary didn’t know, with pretty brown eyes and dark auburn hair. The woman sat at a desk, with a bright light over her head, working on jewelry. Mary watched, fascinated by the way her nimble fingers moved to connect the beads and jewels. Then, the video cut to a different scene. The same woman, maybe older, maybe younger, was sitting at a desk. She was filing papers and reading words that Mary didn’t know yet. She wasn’t making jewelry or wearing bracelets, she looked plain. She looked sad. 

And then, Mary knew. Somehow she knew the woman in the video. Mary knew her favorite foods and colors. She knew that lady used to love going fishing with her father and eating strawberry shortcake afterwards. That lady was her. 

The video ended and the light turned off again. Mary felt her own ginger hair and looked back at the lady in the room. She smiled sadly at Mary. “Come on, let’s play hide and seek now.” 

***

Mary knew this would be different from her other games of Hide-and-Seek. This was more important. If that woman was her, and she was that woman, then she was in danger. She needed saving. 

A man led her to the gate of her home. A false home, only temporary, filled with children that Mary never actually knew. She never knew a Phil or a Ginny in her life. The children Mary didn’t know, waved her goodbye and she was left outside. In the middle of a New York city. 

What was she supposed to do? The man hadn’t given her any instructions or a map. Was she supposed to find Older Mary? Mary looked around the street she was on. The House was gone, Mary was standing in an alleyway. The street was busy with people, businessmen yelling into phones and couples kissing. Mary saw another girl run past her and suddenly she felt so out of place. That girl wore a bright summer dress, with white flowers on a yellow print. Mary wore an ironed skirt and an overcoat. She looked like she belonged in a boarding school. 

She decided to wander around. Maybe she would find something, someone, that way. The cars were too loud and the buildings too tall. Mary clumsily weaved her way through the crowd, although no one seemed to notice her anyway. 

“Sorry,” she mumbled as she bumped into another boy. The boy stopped and stared at her though. He was taller, with darker skin and messy hair. 

“Mary?” He said, still looking at her weirdly. Did she know this boy? Who was he? “It’s me! Phil! Well… this is also me, Phil.” He pointed up at the older man, with white hair and a beard. The old man was standing, staring off into space. “He can’t see me, but he can see you… I’ll explain.” 

The man suddenly looked down at Mary. He gave her a warm smile and offered his hand. “Are you lost? Do you need to find your parents?” Mary’s eyes went big as she looked at his hand. Something in the back of her head told her to take this man’s hand, to trust him. But another part of her told Mary not to trust strangers. No matter how nice they looked, her father told her it wasn’t safe. 

“Come on.” Phil whispered in her ear. “Take his hand.” Mary realized then, how similar their voices sounded. The old man smiled and the way his eyes squinted was the same as Phil’s. They really were the same person. 

Mary took the old man’s hand with caution. “What’s your name?” he asked. Mary glanced at Phil, who was trailing behind. He shrugged. 

“Mary… Mary Walker.” How did Mary know that? She never had a last name before, at the House. 

“Alright Mary, I’m Phil, do you know where your parents could be?” Mary scrunched up her face. For all she knew her parents could be dead. The existence of Older Mary and Younger Phil was something she didn’t quite understand yet. 

“Uhhh… I don’t know.”

“That’s ok, we’ll try to find them then.” 

Younger Phil grinned at her. “Okay I’ll start explaining now!” He ran to catch up and stand next to Mary. “So, don’t actually answer me unless you want older me to think you have an imaginary friend.” Mary shook her head and Younger Phil laughed. “I missed you!” 

Younger Phil explained a lot. He explained that he wasn’t actually real to Older Phil because he was a part of him. He explained how only Mary could see him. He explained how Older Phil lost his wife and was lonely. He explained his crazy trip to find something, so that Mary could be ‘it’ next. 

Mary still didn’t understand anything, it sounded less like Hide-and-Seek and more like a scavenger hunt. Mary looked up at Older Phil, who gave a reassuring smile. He looked happy. He didn’t look lonely or lost at all.  

***

Older Phil decided at some point that it was too late for them to be out. He led Mary to his apartment and Mary let him. The apartment was warm and snug. Mary watched as Phil moved in the kitchen to make her hot chocolate. 

“What do I have to find?” 

Older Phil looked up, surprised at the question. “Your parents,” he said, at the same time as Younger Phil said “Your childhood.” 

Mary sat, holding her hot chocolate and thinking. What was her childhood? She was seven and all she remembered was Hide-and-Seek. But she remembered more. She remembered playing Go Fish with her mother and going to the lake house. How was that possible? She was sure her whole life was Hide-and-Seek with Connie and Isaac and the other children. 

“Hey,” Younger Phil crawled up next to her on the couch. Older Phil had gone to sleep much earlier, setting up a bed for Mary on the couch. “Don’t think about it too much.” Phil patted her hands. “I found the thing in the yard of an old abandoned house, it could be anywhere.” 

“What is ‘it’ though?” Mary whined, “Don’t I have to find older me first?” 

Phil sat back and thought about it. He was older than Mary by a year and therefore more knowledgeable. Not to mention the fact that his turn as ‘it’ was over already.

 “Yeah… I had Ginny to help me find. Did you know, right now she’s a beautiful young lady with a fiancé? Not at all like me, I’m an old man now.” Mary gave Phil a look. “Well, well,” he laughed, “I’m me, a kid, and him,” Phil pointed up the stairs, “an old man.” Mary started to place the puzzle pieces in her head. There were two versions of them. A kid version and an adult version. The older version couldn’t see the younger one. The adult version was sad or lonely before the younger one showed up. 

“Was Old Ginny sad before Little Ginny showed up?” Mary asked to test her theory. Phil nodded. 

“Ginny told me that she used to have a lot of eating problems… like she wouldn’t eat more than a stick of gum sometimes. Gum isn’t even food.” 

Mary nodded slowly and took a sip of her now cold beverage. “Older you will probably show up soon, don’t worry,” Phil said.

***

The next morning, Mary was woken early by a ringing doorbell. She groaned and started rolling off the couch before catching herself on the table. Older Phil trudged down the stairs, still half asleep, and opened the door. A woman, pacing back and forth impatiently, was at the door. Mary was up in five seconds flat. She stared at the woman, looking like a meerkat as she studied her face. The woman was talking to Phil, sounding bored and half dead. 

“That’s her!” Mary whispered at Younger Phil. Younger Phil jumped up to join Mary in watching the lady. 

“She can’t see me, or you.” Phil whispered back. 

“That’s my mom!” Mary yelled. Older Phil whipped around. 

“Really? That’s great!” Older Mary glared at him and sighed. They finished talking and as Older Mary left, Younger Mary ran out the door. Both Phil’s waves goodbye. 

Excitement ran through Mary’s body. She studied her older self, seeing how her face settled into a permanent scowl and how the wrinkles made her look older than she was. Still, Mary skipped happily by her side, glad that she found someone. Next, was something. 

Older Mary returned to a giant office building. Mary both knew and didn’t know this place. Older Mary slumped in and sat in one of the multiple cubicles in the room. Mary was aware that she could be seen, but didn’t care. She hid under Older Mary’s desk and giggled. She was so happy now, she could explode. That feeling sunk quickly, after watching Older Mary hunched over her computer for hours. 

Mary followed her older self to a house. She didn’t know this house, but she did. It was her childhood home, her real one. It was her first time here and her millionth. It was big and buttercup yellow, with white shingles and chipped paint. If Mary was supposed to find something from her childhood, Older Mary led her to the perfect place. 

She leaped through the door, feeling invincible. For the second time today, that feeling was killed in her heart. The house was the same. It had the same smell but a different feeling. The couch was different, the TV was newer. Mary’s head shook back and forth and back and forth, trying to find something familiar. Older Mary sighed loudly and sank into the couch, holding her head in her hands. Younger Mary just watched. 

***

That night, when Older Mary went to bed, Younger Mary searched the house. There must be something from Mary’s childhood. This was her childhood house, where was the plate with a fish or the big bear her father got for her sixth birthday? Everything was different. Everything was new. And it was wrong. 

Mary dug through boxes of stuff. Stuff, stuff, stuff. How could this lady have so much stuff and none of it that Mary recognized? Mary didn’t even know her. There was nothing that she knew. Just that this lady really needed saving. Mary felt like crying. Maybe she did. 

A CD. A CD at the bottom of an old basket, something that missed Mary’s eye the first time. It was buried deep, but Mary found it. The disc’s cover had words written on it. Mary recognized it as her father’s. It said “Mary’s Song.” Just judging by that, Mary knew. She was done, almost. After her, another kid would become it and she would help them like Phil helped her. Now, how to get Older Mary’s attention?

Mary sat with the CD in her hands. She could just play it now? There was a CD player. That would be weird though, Older Mary would get scared. It was the middle of the night. Instead Younger Mary set the disc on the bedside table and waited for Older Mary to wake up. 

When she did, Older Mary picked up the CD. Her face crinkled into one of confusion. Younger Mary bounced around, waiting for her to do something. 

“I haven’t seen this since I was seven…” Older Mary whispered. She stood up, shaking a bit, before walking over to the player. She opened the case and slid the CD into it. Then, a soft, sweet tune started playing. Mary grinned and danced around tunelessly. Older Mary smiled for the first time ever. “This takes me back to my childhood.”