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Sad Teens & Young Adult Christian

Trigger Warning: Suicidal mentions and death. This story could be sensitive or triggering to anyone uncomfortable with suicidal topics and or mentions of death.

Authors note: Even by the trigger warning it's probably easy to guess; this one is a sad one. I've noticed that I tend to switch between sad, and fantasy. Weird combination? So I actually wrote this story a couple months ago(more like last year) and thought it fit this prompt so I spent the week revising and editing it. I really like it and hope you guys do too! Feel free to leave any feedback on what you thought!

Chapter 1:

Earth, Len

She called me Len. I called her Ria.Β 

Every day I come so close to seeing her again, but something stops me. Every, stupid. Worthless. Time.Β 

Couldn't she help me? Couldn't she suck up her stubbornness and know that I’m sorry?Β 

That I'm sorry that I didn't know she was hurting. I’m sorry I didn't comfort her. I’m sorry I didn't notice sooner.

I’ve gotten nothing from her for so long. Not one single sign that Ria even remembers me.

It's like she never even existed.Β 

Her things were destroyed or donated by my parents as a way of grieving. Leaving a sad, colorless, bare, room for my mother to spend her days inΒ 

To relive so many memories of what feels like so few years with her.

As I walk by I can hear mother from Ria’s old room. She spends hours at a time in that room, some days she’ll end up sleeping in there. I can hear her crying, echoing through the floors, through the walls. The gut-wrenching sobs.Β 

Every time I hear her cry I can feel a big weight dropped on my shoulders. It feels like t's my fault she's grieving that way. It's my fault Ria’s gone.Β 

Mothers not even herself anymore. Her voice used to be soft, and smooth. Ria always told me it reminded her of warm hot chocolate.

After Ria di-left, mother’s words started to crack into small stuttering sentences like she can't catch her breath. And there’s always those sentences where she doesn't finish them at all.

As I walk down the hall and slip into my usual spot at the table, there’s a loose, airy timidness between the three of us.Β 

Dad sits in his chair at the head of the table, scrolling through his phone and mother is digging in the fridge for something.

The tension felt unusually loose.Β 

It had been so tense with the three of us, for almost nine months. This seemed like we could make something out of it. Maybe break the grief cycle my parents were stuck in. I only managed to get out a couple weeks ago. Mother made a noise and pulled out the milk carton, pouring each of us a glass.Β 

I bite my lip and lean back in my chair. Maybe Ria heard our prayers and finally answered them?Β 

I squeeze my eyes shut for a moment and sit up straighter, not wanting to dig into that memory.Β 

It always seems to creep its way into everyone’s thoughts. I never know if it’s grief taking over memories, or memories taking over the grief.Β 

β€œLeo?” Mother asks timidly.

Β I blink back into reality and notice that mother and father are staring at me blankly, their eyes not glancing away.Β 

I bite my lip and my eyes dart between the two of them.

Dead, hollow, silence fills the room, swallowing it whole.Β 

Mother tilts her head and her eyes become sad.

β€œYou were thinking about Ria. Weren't you?” Her voice barely reaches my ears as tears start to fall from her grey eyes.

I look at my feet and feel my head bob up and down, stubborn tears escaping my eyes. I look up at mother, swallowing hard to try and push the lump of emotions forming in my throat away.

Mother’s lips lift into a small smile and she closes her eyes, pursing her lips.Β 

I open my mouth, expecting words like, β€œtoday will be different” to come out of my mouth. But I quickly close it when I feel my throat go dry.

I sigh and stand up and out of my chair, leaving my parents in their silence, and trudge down the hall to my room. I squeeze my eyes shut as I walk past Ria’s room and lock my door as I step inside. Tears sting my eyes and my throat is still bone dry as I pace around my room. I let out a small, strangled sob as the memories flood back. Flashes of color and light cloud my brain. I could've done something! It was my fault and I should've done something! I squeezed my eyes tighter, trying to get the images out of my head but they wouldn't go away. Etched into the concrete of my memory.Β 

I could feel the anger boiling inside of me. I was mad at everyone who told me it would get better. Everyone who lied and said it takes time. Everyone says it gets better as time goes on. That it makes you stronger. And I held on to that hope for months. But it didn't get easier. The only thing that got easier was being able to distract myself. There’s always going to be that empty, hollow pit in your stomach. Because death sucks. It does. It really sucks. And no matter how strong I became, it still hurt. I thought that I could be strong for her. We all did. And look at us now. We’re a mess.Β 

I force myself onto my bed and press my shaky hands into the mattress. β€œPlease Ria. Please let me see you. Let me find you.” I croak.Β 

As I lay down on my bed, I can feel my eyes already closing. Too exhausted to even eat breakfast. I press my head into my pillow as darkness swirls around me, flashes of red lights disrupting the peace.Β 

Why did they even try? Mother had found her, in her room, dead, and she knew it. Why get so much more attention? That’s not what Ria would've wanted.Β 

Did she even care about us? She took her own life and ruined ours. What about the people that loved her? That still do care about her and mourn every day? The people whose lives will never be the same without her? Did she really think we wouldn't be affected?Β 

The hollow, empty voice of my Father over the phone telling me to come home. I could hear mothers sobs in the background. I could feel tears springing in my eyes as I heard mother wailing in the background. Just from mother’s gut-wrenching sobs. Every single word I heard from my father tore me apart and shattered my reality. Every note, card, post, message, text, call. They all said a variation of the same thing, whether they knew Ria or not.Β 

β€œSorry for your loss.”

It wasn't just a loss. They didn't know how it felt. I had lost someone who made my world. Without Ria, what am I meant to do?Β 

Ria knew everything. She was just perfect. Without her-everything just seems, empty. Broken. She had put on a strong face and none of us had a clue. I should've known. I could've helped her. Been with her. I should've done something.Β 

Why couldn't she just let me be with her? It’d be so much easier that way.Β 

I open my eyes and stare at my ceiling, pleading to Ria.Β 

β€œPlease Ria. If you can hear me, let me go. Let me come and be with you. It'll be so much easier.” 

And I felt myself drift off to sleep, too tired to even think about anything else.

Chapter 2:

Heaven, Ria

He called me Ria, I called him Len.

Β It's been 9 months and he still won't stop. Every day, he continues to try and meet me up here. I was assigned to him to make sure my brother doesn't do anything crazy. When I was given my assignment, I was still distraught. Not knowing how I felt about being-dead. I started to not mind checking in on my family. But seeing them through that little mirror, watching them suffer, cry, mourn. It's heartbreaking. I sit there, watching them and I can't do anything to tell them that I care, and I’m sorry. Len’s prayers, pleading me to let him come. His sobs that he stifles as our parents walk by. He’s so much stronger than I remember.Β 

We were told that tears would motivate us further, so we could protect our families. But every single time I sit there and watch him cry. Watch my entire family sit there, gathered in the same room, and say nothing to each other. I want more and more to let him carry through. To let Len just get it over with and we could watch over our parents together. I would do anything to take back what I did. Anything. It would be so much easier if I was given a second chance.Β 

I was so trapped back then. Trapped in my mind, my thoughts, my stress. They swirled around me day and night, and no matter what I tried I still felt the same pain. That unbearable, shattering pain that I couldn't describe. The pain was unbearable, but no one was able to understand.

Β That day. That day I stood in my room, pacing around. My heart racing as I twisted my hands together.

Was I really going to do it?

Β I asked myself over, and over. My heart pounded against my chest and tears streamed down my face. I wiped them away and locked my door, and took a minute to stop my shaking hands and soak everything in. Then the darkness, the pain, the confusion, the sadness. They all took over. My body had no control over my mind and I did it. I just did it. And I wish I could take it back, I’ve tried to take it back. I would do anything to go back in time and slap my past self in the face and yell, β€œknock out of it!” 

I wanted so badly to go back, erase what I had done. Mother’s blood-curdling scream when she found my limp body in my room, was one of the most horrifying things I’ve ever had to go through.

I swallow hard and flip the mirror towards the bright green grass, and watch as my family dissolves into a blank, regular hand mirror. I drop the mirror on the ground and look up to see Liam running towards me, with a strange smile plastered on his face. Like he wasn't sure if he should be smiling.Β 

He flips his curly brown hair out of his eyes and calls me over, yelling something about The Rim. A shiver shoots up my spine as his words reach my ears. Either something really good or really bad had happened and I immediately guess bad.

β€œSo-uh what's the occasion?” I ask, brushing my wavy red hair out of my face. A small grin grows on Liam’s face and he nudges me.Β 

β€œDon't be so nervous.” He tells me, picking up his pace to a jog.Β 

β€œIt's just a surprise.” 

I scrunch my brows together but start jogging, my curiosity getting the best of me.Β 

I had only been to The Rim two other times. Once to talk to The Big Boss, and once because Liam wanted to show me the view of Earth from Heaven. That was one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen.Β 

What could be waiting for me at The Rim? New people arrive near the gates, so it couldn't be a person. But it's not like we get deliveries?Β 

I clenched my jaw, questions taunting me like something just out of reach. We stop in front of the fog, shielding The Rim and Liam grabs my hand, locking his eyes with mine. He gives my hand a small squeeze and uses the other to clear away the fog. As we step forward I drop his hand and feel my heart drop to the pit of my stomach.Β 

I shake my head furiously tears stinging my eyes. I look at Liam, begging him to do something but he stands there, not even glancing at me. I cover my eyes with my hands, hot tears streaming down my face.

β€œNo! Please no!” I scream. I can hear Liam’s soft voice saying comforting words but I cover my ears and cripple onto my knees. β€œPlease, please no. Take it back. Take it back!” I croak.Β 

There’s a soft touch on my shoulders and I open my eyes slowly. I let out a shaky breath and bit my lip, meeting my brother’s eyes, stubborn tears rolling down his cheeks. His lips curl into a small, sad, smile and he squeezes my shoulder.Β 

β€œHey, sis.”

December 05, 2020 03:34

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85 comments

Sapphire ~β™š
18:28 Dec 05, 2020

Wow. I'm- Speechless. I've dealt with some of Ria's pain before and you described it perfectly. The twist at the end though, better than any cliffhanger I've read. I'm glad you understand this is a sensitive topic, and reading Ria's story gave me glimpses of my own. This was spectacular Luna! Absolutely loved it! -Sapphire

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Aw thank you! I'm glad it was relatable!

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hehe, oops! Glad you liked it though!

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Maya
17:29 Dec 06, 2020

Wow!!! Such a touching story. Great job!

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Thank you!

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Akshaya Sutrave
15:17 Dec 20, 2020

Hi Luna, Your story was really moving and heartbreaking. You've dealt with this sensitive topic really well and it touched me very deeply. It was so beautifully written. Fantastic work! I loved reading it. Keep writing :)

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Thank you so much!

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Akshaya Sutrave
04:53 Dec 21, 2020

My pleasure! :) Is it one of the following: Skyler Grey Fearless Fox Skylar Rose?

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No, you're so close though!

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Akshaya Sutrave
09:49 Dec 31, 2020

Okay! I'll look for her again! By the way, has anything changed about her (like 2 submissions has become 3 submissions, etc)? (Sorry it took so late to respond. I think this message got lost in my notifications)

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thats ok! Yes, its now 3, thanks for catching that...I'll go update my bio now!!! Tysm!

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20:05 Dec 18, 2020

Sorry if I'm blowing up your notifications but NO way your only 13?!?! WOW

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YeahπŸ˜… and you're goodπŸ™ƒ

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19:48 Dec 18, 2020

Heyy. I loved this story! It was so beautiful and it flowed really nicely. Also saw that u ride, I do too (oof I really sounded like a horse-girl there. Ugh I promise I'm not) Oh and is the answer to the ”riddle” Adhi Das?

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Thank you! Haha your good, I'm not a crazy rider but its a fun hobby:) Not Adhi Das, good guess though!

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21:40 Dec 18, 2020

No problem! Ah ok hmmm okay

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D. Kase
14:31 Dec 18, 2020

Very poetic and a tragic beauty! Well done!

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Thank you!

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Echo Sundar
17:45 Dec 16, 2020

Oh my gosh, this story WOW WOW WOW. I literally have tears in my eyes I am so choked up right now. I never get like this ever wow. This story is just wow wow wow I can't express how completely outstanding this is.

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Aw, thank you so much! I'm so glad the emotion translated well!

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Sorry if I blew up your notificationsXD My wifi was being slow so me, being my impatient self spammed the reply buttonXD

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Your descriptions are really good! It made the emotions feel more real. Haven't read a sad story in a while, but you fed my craving! wanna have an upvote spree?

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Aw thank you! I'd love to do an upvote spree if you are still on!

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I already started and I'm going through your comments now, your stories are so good!!!

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Thank youuuu<3

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Skylar Rose
21:52 Dec 07, 2020

I love this so muuuuch!! *sobs quietly in a corner* It was so heartfelt and Sapphire already mentioned it, but I wanted to say it again. You definitely knew and understood that this was a sensitive topic and that showed in your writing. Nice job!!

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Thanks<3

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Oh my goodness, this was so so beautiful!!! It was very somber but still so well written, the emotion you put into was truly amazing. Keep writing, you really have a talent! ❀

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Thank you! I'm glad you liked it<3 You figured it out! I'll make sure to include you in my bio for people who guessed it correctly! Nice job!

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15:27 Mar 28, 2021

Upvoted you or 700+ :DDD <3

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omg thank you so so so much for taking the time to do that<3333

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15:36 Mar 28, 2021

My pleasureeeeee <33333

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Frances Reine
22:55 Jan 07, 2021

This is so sensitive and fragile. I haven't read something like this in a rlly long time and mostly I can't stomach it. This is beautiful.

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Aw thank you. I'm glad you liked it:)

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Frances Reine
13:21 Jan 08, 2021

no problem :D

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Maya W.
20:25 Jan 06, 2021

Hi Luna! I loved this so much. Your writing style is incredible, I loved the repetition and the character development. The only thing that could be edited is where it says "chapter two." It doesn't add anything, you can just add a break in the text and it'll have the same effect. But amazing work. Would you mind checking out some of my recent stories?

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Thanks for the feedback! I'll go back and see if I can edit that! I'll definitely check them out! Any particular ones you want me to read?

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Maya W.
22:34 Jan 06, 2021

Of course! I'm always willing to give feedback. And, if you could just read a few of the most recent ones, that would be nice.

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Sure! I can't wait! I just checked, and since the story was approved by reedsy, I cant edit the writing. But now that I look back on it, I agree it wasnt necessary:)

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Maya W.
22:39 Jan 06, 2021

Oh, okay then. Just keep it in mind for next time, I guess. Can't wait to see your feedback!

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Haha yeah! I'll read your stories by tonight, I have a bit of homework, but I cant wait to read themm

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Echo Sundar
19:23 Jan 06, 2021

Hi Luna!! I've been thinking about your stories lately and I just wanted to tell you how amazing they are! There those stories that you think about randomly during conversations when you're in the car, or trying to fall asleep. They're so relatable and fun you'll be talking to someone and a story will pop into your head maybe you met a person that reminded you of a character in a story you read, a moment that was like one from a book. Your stories are some of those stories I just wanted to say that your stories are really really good!! Like ...

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Aw Rachel!! Thank you so much!! I cant express how much this means to me:) You made my dayyy!!!!

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Echo Sundar
23:55 Dec 29, 2020

Hi, luna! So I saw your bio. And I think I know the answer to your riddle. Is it Ahdi Das?

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Hi! Ahdi Das is not the correct answer, but a lot of people have guessed Ahdi Das.

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Echo Sundar
01:49 Dec 30, 2020

Hmmm Ok. Im going to look at who you're following again...

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Haha ok, good luck!

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Ok ok so, the person you're related to is either Adhi das or Skyler grey. Am I right??

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No, you're so close though!

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19:56 Dec 18, 2020

I don’t know what happened to my other comment but anyway.. This was the most beautiful and sad thing ever. I have gone through something similar and I was literally crying after I read this. Amazing job.

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Thank you so much! I'm glad the emotion translated well!

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21:41 Dec 18, 2020

It really did!

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18:33 Dec 05, 2020

I. Am. Shooketh. What a moving story! I literally froze for two seconds after reading it to process the MASTERPIECE I'd just read (maybe I'm being a bit extra but the story was really good!)

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Thank you so much! I'm glad you liked it!

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