The Tell-Tale Clock

Submitted into Contest #274 in response to: Write a story where a creature turns up in an unexpected way.... view prompt

26 comments

Fiction Suspense

"The pictures were hanging upside down," I said.


My friend gasped and smiled, "Mary, you are a born storyteller. I actually felt goosebumps."


I put my can of Pepsi down without taking a drink. "No, Cindy, I'm not making this up. I came home, and there they were. Perfectly level, but upside down."


"Now stop it. You're freaking me out."


"How do you think I feel? I have to live here."


Just as I finished speaking, my grandfather clock struck seven and began to play "Westminster Chimes." We jumped, startled by the noisy antique.


"Sorry, girl, I didn't mean to get you so worked up," I said. "I believe the small earthquake we had earlier is to blame. I felt the tremors while eating lunch. Somehow, it must have shaken the pictures."


Cindy visibly relaxed, as if she had just realized that the monster she had thought she saw wasn't a monster but a friendly stray dog.


Since buying that old grandfather clock a month ago, I have developed a habit of counting the strikes of each hour. It has become such a problem that I can count even while talking. While calming Cindy with my earthquake theory, I counted six strikes. I didn't miss one. The seventh strike never came. I guess that's what I get for buying an old clock.


We changed the subject to more pleasant topics. However, Cindy had an early day ahead and had to call it a night. She left a few minutes before eight.


I went into the kitchen to do the dishes. The grandfather clock hit eight, and it began to sing again. I stopped doing dishes when its final strikes began. I started counting. I expected seven, thinking it fell back an hour, but my heart began to race when it stopped at six. Six again?


After drying my hands, I inspected the old beast of a clock. The pendulum swung side to side, and the hands were in the correct position. After diagnosing that these parts were in working order, I reached the end of my expertise.


Suddenly, a door slammed behind me. I turned to see my bedroom door closed. Was it open? No, I closed it before Cindy came over. I keep a messing room. So, where did the noise come from?


I noticed a piece of insulation lying in the middle of the living room. I looked up and saw the attic door cracked open. The rope for opening the attic door swung like the door had been recently pushed back up into the ceiling. I grabbed the rope and pulled. The door easily opened. A folded ladder was mounted to the back of the door. I unfolded it. The ladder reached the floor, and I climbed up. I turned the flashlight on from my cell phone and searched the attic. Insulation evenly covered the attic floor. It wasn't the kind of attic meant for storage or an extra room. However, I could see foot-sized disturbances in the insulation along the trusses. Someone had been walking up here. My mouth went dry. I couldn't explain this away with an earthquake.


I quickly descended the ladder, trying to shake off the fear that was about to overcome me. There had to be an explanation. Perhaps those impressions had been there since the last time it was reinsulated. I folded the ladder and pushed it back into the ceiling. I immediately felt better until I saw my bedroom door. It was open.


"Cindy!" I searched the living room. "Okay. You got me. The game's over." I needed her to come out of my room or the kitchen – from anywhere, but she didn't. I cautiously walked to my room, holding my phone like a billy club. I turned on the lights. The pictures were hanging upside down again. I distinctly remember setting them right before Cindy came over.


The grandfather clock struck the three-quarter hour, sending a chill throughout my body. I felt a presence like someone was standing behind me. I spun around, but nobody was there. The ticking of the clock echoed throughout the house. It grew louder, or at least my near-panicked mind thought it grew louder.


I approached the tall clock carefully, expecting it to attack me or explode. However, it did neither and, instead, behaved like a normal grandfather clock. This bothered me more than the unusual noises - everything could be explained if it was broken. But if it was working – then what was happening?


I searched the entire house—not that it took long—bedroom, bathroom, living room, and kitchen. I wanted a tiny house to feel more cozy and less cluttered, which is not how I would describe my current state.


The clock struck nine. I held my breath. The tune played out, and the count began: one, two, three, four, five, six. It stopped at six again! Three times! Six, six, six.


That was it! I grabbed my keys and raced out the door. I drove to Cindy's and stayed the night. The following day, I Googled "clock repair man" to see if they still existed. To my surprise, I found one over an hour away, but he advertised that he was willing to travel. So, I called and asked if he could fix my old clock. He said he could fix any clock, and we agreed to meet at my house after lunch.


He pulled into my drive with a magnet on the side of his white cargo van advertising his company: Fix the Ticks. He unloaded a toolbox and asked where the grandfather clock was. I showed him and then asked if he'd like some coffee. He did.


I scooped the ground coffee into the hopper. Something was bothering me. I poured the water in and tried to figure out why I felt so anxious. I turned the coffee pot on. Then it hit me. I never told the repair guy I had a grandfather clock.


I stood, staring at the coffee beginning to percolate. I heard his footsteps behind me. I felt his breath on my hair. I knew he had a hammer in his hand. I don't know how I knew, but I did. There was no need to turn around. There was nothing I could do. My clock had run out.


November 02, 2024 01:58

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26 comments

Charis Keith
18:47 Nov 20, 2024

This is so good! You built the tension perfectly. 666... It was a good kind of fear read, I got chills but at the same time I couldn't stop reading. Great work, Daniel.

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Daniel Rogers
02:13 Nov 22, 2024

Thank you. I'm glad you weren't able to stop reading. A huge compliment for any author.

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Amanda Rose
01:23 Dec 01, 2024

Yes!! I agree!!

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09:22 Nov 10, 2024

Our family inherited a grandfather clock from our granddad. It has been at my parents' and, later, at my mum's place for years. Until Mum went into a home. Who should get it? Not me. Too far away. My half-sister, whose father is our stepdad. It is from his side of the family. Naturally, she inherited it. No one actually wanted it. Least of all her. But none of us want to get rid of it either. My parents always disabled the chimes at night. It always chimed correctly other times. Something comforting about the sounds it made. I loved the way...

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Daniel Rogers
02:37 Nov 11, 2024

Thank you for reading. I remember I stopped hearing the chimes after a few years. It was weird when my friends would ask what the noise was, and I had to concentrate to know what they were talking about.

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05:12 Nov 11, 2024

I know what you mean. I lived for years near where a train went past. We barely heard it and slept through the noise. at night.

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Jennie Mika
08:04 Nov 08, 2024

So creepy! Well built tension. I particularly enjoyed this as I have been living in a flat right next to a church tower that chimes every 15 mins and plays the westminster chimes every hour... I have often thought it would make a good basis for a story.

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Daniel Rogers
02:31 Nov 09, 2024

Thank you, I grew up with a grandmother clock - the inspiration for this story.

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Neil Dabb
06:13 Nov 08, 2024

Well done. Good suspense building

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Daniel Rogers
02:32 Nov 09, 2024

Thank you

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Dalia Grigorescu
21:14 Nov 07, 2024

The dreaded evil clock, striked 666. Should have called a priest instead of a repairman 🫢

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Daniel Rogers
02:23 Nov 08, 2024

She should have 🤣

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Darvico Ulmeli
12:58 Nov 07, 2024

Excellent. The end - such a good ending for this story.

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Daniel Rogers
02:25 Nov 08, 2024

Thank you, Darvico. I'm glad you liked it 😀

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Tom Skye
19:34 Nov 06, 2024

Creepy ending Daniel! I enjoyed the manic pacing of this. It kind of put you in the scene and you felt the characters' panic. Really nice work. Cheers

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Daniel Rogers
01:18 Nov 07, 2024

Thank you

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Mary Bendickson
19:07 Nov 04, 2024

Good Halloweeny story.

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Daniel Rogers
02:15 Nov 06, 2024

Thank you, Mary 😀

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Shirley Medhurst
14:48 Nov 04, 2024

Oooh oh so chilling 😨!!! Loved this tale

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Daniel Rogers
02:17 Nov 06, 2024

Thank you, I'm glad it gave you chills 🤣

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Trudy Jas
16:12 Nov 03, 2024

I've always thoroughl disliked ticking, boinging and chiming clocks. Now I know why. :-)

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Daniel Rogers
20:22 Nov 03, 2024

😂🤣

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Emma Parker
20:52 Nov 02, 2024

That story truly gave me chills. Great job!

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Daniel Rogers
23:12 Nov 02, 2024

Thank you. Chills are the best compliment for a scary story. 😀👍

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Heather Rogers
03:40 Nov 02, 2024

You do have a way with words!

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Daniel Rogers
23:19 Nov 02, 2024

Thank you, Hon. The question for this story is: do I have a scary way with words? 🤣

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