Doublespeak

Why does she keep ignoring me?

The sound of plastic tapping against the top of the vanity reached Sara’s ears. She ignored the irritating sound.

“Sara listen to me please!” she pleaded. She was shouting but all Sara heard was the tappity tap tap sound of the plastic case as it bounced along the vanity.

“Quiet you,” Sara said.  “I can do this by myself. I don’t need your kind of help. You caused too much trouble last time.”

Sara should be thanking me for what happened last time. Dave was a jerk. He talked trash about his mother the whole time. Men who talk badly about their mothers don’t have respect for women. Sara should be grateful that one date was all she had to endure with Dave. The small plastic case pouted.

The phone rang and Sara leaned down to pick it up. She often left her phone on top of the large makeup box she kept next to her vanity. That way she would never forget her supplies for work. A makeup artist needed to carry the tools of the trade with her at all times.

 Sara listened to the person on the other end of the phone while she stared at the small rectangular case on her vanity. It was trying to say something but Sara could not understand what it wanted unless she applied it and she was determined not to do that. So the case stopped frantically tapping and started to spell out what it wanted to say in Morse code. Dave. Dash dot dot. Dot dash.

“Yes. Dave. He was the last straw. You didn’t need to make him cry. We could have just told him it wasn’t going to work out. Kelly is still mad at me for hurting her friend’s feelings,” said Sara.

She began to tap out P...U…T… M…E…O…N. Dot dash dash dot. Dot dot dash.

“Fine!” Sara grabbed the plastic case and took off the top. She twisted the bottom of the case. Sara figured she might as well let her say her piece. It could only communicate for two minutes at a time anyway. Sara stared into the mirror and applied the red color number thirty-five to her lips. It was always so weird when her lips started moving but she wasn’t the one moving them.

“Sara, it is brutal out there. Let me help you with your date,” said her lips.

“It is not a date. It is a job interview.”

“A “job interview” at a restaurant with a man is a date.”

“There will be several other girls there. We each have a specific amount of time for us to get to know each other,” said Sara.

“Let me ask you something. Are you supposed to eat dinner during this time?”

“Yes.”

“Why? Is that something you will have to do every day on the job?”

“No. I think he wants to see how we will act in social situations.”

“Uh-huh. So you meet at a restaurant where you compete with other girls for his attention.”

“Right.”

“That is called speed dating.”

“What! You’re crazy L’Oreal red number thirty-five,” exclaimed Sara.

“You should put me on at the end of the date. If he is no good I’ll tell him off. If he is legitimate I’ll get you the job.” Sara’s lips moved slower and slower. Sara knew that the two minutes were almost up.

“No, you will make too many promises that I can’t deliver. Remember the time I wanted to be a concierge at that very high-end hotel in Europe? I had to be able to speak two languages. You chose Silbo and Gwich’in.

“Exactly. No one will know what you are saying. You can make words up.”

“It all went wrong when they wanted me to speak in Silbo. I can’t whistle,” said Sara.

“How was I to know one of the people doing the interview could understand Silbo? It was the perfect plan until then,” declared Sara’s lips. Please let me help you at the restaurant. Please. Please.” Sara’s lips moved slowly until they stopped moving altogether. The two minutes were up.

Sara heard the tapping again but ignored it while she finished getting ready.

Meanwhile, Compact was speaking to L’oreal in makeup speak. “She has to get a job soon. Mascara didn’t want me to tell you this but he overheard her on the phone and the landlady said if she didn’t pay her rent soon she was kicking her out of the apartment.”

“What!”

“Everyone knows. Concealer has been clumping for days and Eye Shadow has been flakey. I don’t even want to know what Lip Liner has been doing. Something about a Voodoo doll.

“This job interview may not even be legit.”

“Just get it for her. Sara doesn’t have any other job offers right now and we have to pay the rent in a couple of weeks!

L’Oreal tried to ignore Compact’s fear but it wasn’t easy.

Sara was determined to leave red number thirty-five at home but then her clock chimed. She had to go. In her rush, she picked up Compact and L’Oreal and a few other essentials and ran for the car. She got to the restaurant with five minutes to spare. Quickly she went to the ladies' room reapplied her lipstick and powdered her face. As she exited the ladies' room she heard her name being called.

 “Ms. Bennett!”

“Hi. I’m Ms. Bennett,” said Sara waving.

“Hello. I am Mr. Lloyd’s associate. Please follow me,” said the neatly dressed woman who turned towards the tables in the back. She stopped at the table of a man wearing a dark blue suit who was rapidly typing on his phone.

“I’m sorry to have to tell you that we only have a few minutes to conduct the interview. I have to leave on a business matter very soon. We do have some hors d’oeuvres and glasses of water if you would like something,” he pointed to a small table next to where they were sitting.

“Thank you,” said Sara taking a glass of water from the table.

“Because of time constraints, I only have one question. Why do you want this job?” asked Mr. Lloyd.

Sara opened her mouth to answer but she knew immediately that something else was controlling her lips. Oh no, she thought. The ladies’ room. L’Oreal. Sara could feel her face grimace and smile at the same time which gave her a strange appearance for a second. Fortunately, Mr. Lloyd didn’t seem to notice.

“I was wrong. This appears to be a real interview,” said Sara’s lips.

“What?” asked Mr. Lloyd.

“I thought this interview might be some sort of ruse to get several women to date you at the same time.”

Sara drank from the glass of water in an attempt to stop L’Oreal from saying something else but her lips kept moving despite the lipstick print left behind on the glass.

“You mean like speed dating?” asked Mr. Lloyd.

“Sort of. I’ve never had a job interview over dinner before.”

“Oh. I guess I didn’t consider the situation from that angle. It just felt like the walls of the office were closing in on me and I needed to get out for a while before I had to catch a plane to Japan. I’ll try to be more careful in the future.”

“Ok,” said L’Oreal then she went quiet.

“So why do you want to work with my company?” asked Mr. Lloyd again.

Sara waited for L’Oreal to say something but she didn’t. Panic quickly set in as Sara’s lips remained unmoving. Sara didn’t understand. Why didn’t her lips move? Did the two minutes go by that quickly? Sara looked at Mr. Lloyd patiently waiting for her answer.

“Will you excuse me for just a minute? I need to use the ladies' room.”

“Alright, but be back quickly. I have other people to interview.”

“I’ll be right back.”

Sara moved as quickly as she could to the ladies’ room. She got to the sink and leaned into the mirror. Psst. Why didn’t you say anything? L’Oreal. L’Oreal. There was no response. Quickly she reapplied. Then her lips began to move.

“I think you need to answer the question on your own.”

“What! Why? You have never let me do that before ever.”

“Just think about it and answer the question. That is all you’ll get out of me.”

“L’Oreal. L’Oreal!”

Sara didn’t know how to answer the question. She walked back slowly to the table where Mr. Lloyd sat waiting hoping to stall for time.

 Sara heard a crash and looked over to see that a waiter had accidentally spilled several glasses of water.  Quickly the other waiters all came over to help clean the mess.

“No harm done,” said a waiter.

“Happens to everyone,” said another waiter.

Watching the scene before her, Sara got her answer to Mr. Lloyd’s question. She walked more quickly back to Mr. Lloyd’s table.

Sara looked at Mr. Lloyd and said, “I want this position in your company because I want to work with a team that supports one another as they pursue a common goal, like the waiters here.  I have researched your company and from what I understand this company will provide what I am looking for. It is no wonder that you like this restaurant for they have the same work ethic as your company does.”

Mr. Lloyd looked at her and smiled. “You’ve got the job. You can start Monday at 9 am. See you on Monday.” Mr. Lloyd stood up and shook her hand. He notified the other candidates that the position had been filled and departed for the airport.

“Thanks, L’Oreal,” Sara whispered.

“You’re welcome,” her lips moved.

L’Oreal and Compact clicked their cases together and a smiling Sara wondered what she was going to wear on Monday. Of course, it would have to be something that looked good with L’Oreal red number thirty-five.