The Vault

Ever since I was a little girl, the darkness has brought me comfort. When I am encompassed with the intense nothingness and surrounded by silence, that is when I have always felt the most liberated. I've been told before that most people fear the shadows and they are terrified of the silhouetted furniture scattered throughout the room. Restlessly, they envision lurking creatures in the corner and intensely listen for the slightest noise as their anxiety reaches its peak. An unsettling feeling sets in that behind the twilight we are not alone. Some people believe that demons escape their spiritual incarceration for the night to torment the living.  They will chase unsuspecting victims down dark hallways and creep just inches behind our backs as we ascend the stairs. The demons keep their figures hidden, but allow their presence to be known with chilling breaths on the back of bare necks. People flee back into the familiar fluorescent lights when the darkness comes alive and attempt to mask their illusions that they with varied remedies. Night lights, noise machines, and even medication may give temporary respite from the terror, but there are some places where darkness can never be defeated. When the darkness consumes me, I choose to find my peace and embrace the ambiguity in complete blindness. I have nothing to fear from the dark as my demons do not fear the light and have always tormented me regardless. 

Two thousand four hundred sixty seven  days and seventy eight thousand dollars in student loan debt all led up to that moment. Two days into my journey and destined to be four thousand two hundred thirty four miles from my home, I neared the Norwegian archipelago island of Svalbard. Coordinated at seventy seven degrees North twenty four degrees East, it was just a few miles from the North Pole and one of the most isolated locations on Earth. For the next six months, I would be studying at the Svalbard Global Seed Vault. I arrived early in October to allow a few weeks of preparation before the Winter Solstice began. From November to February this part of the Earth stays frozen in a Polar Night while the Earth tilts as far away from the sun as possible. The horizon forbids the sunlight to pass and the night lingers on. I was here to study gene mutation in seeds but welcomed the familiar darkness that's always brought me solace. During the winter solstice, all light and life flees, only leaving behind its too heavy silence. The darkness is constant but allows the ground to reflect the moonlight and frees the Northern Lights to dance in the sky.

When first arriving at the Vault, it's easy to be unimpressed by the small concrete slab protruding from the snowy mountainside. However; miles beneath the mountain in an isolated warehouse, thirteen thousand  years of agricultural history is preserved within the hidden fortress.  Walking down the four hundred foot tunnel towards the main storage room, the atmosphere is authentically silent.  The Vault has the capacity to house four million crops and two and a half billion seeds. It was built with the intention of preserving the unique agricultural diversity found throughout the lands should a global catastrophe ever threaten existence. Scientist refer to the Vault as the "Noah's Ark" of plant diversity while journalist have nicknamed it the "Doomsday" seed vault. Inside the permafrost layer of the mountain, the Vault boasts a collection of over four and a half million seed samples acquired from every known part of the world. The vault spares no expense to ensure its repertoire has every possible variant of every possible seed.  In just barley seeds alone there are seventy thousand varieties reserved. Not only does the vault have an impressive inventory of seed samples, the facility also researches gene mutation within the stored samples as well.  In a world of unpredictability, the vault offers assurance that our food will never disappear. Though the Vault has accomplished one of the greatest agricultural and scientific feats, with its collection, I found myself most impressed with the innate harmony. In the name of science, international conflict is settled within the depths of the subterranean tundra.  Inside the frozen room, seeds are sent from North Korea, Ukraine, Russia, China, Brazil, and every other nation around the globe. Regardless of the conflicts exchanged in the provinces, in the vault all seeds have a safe place and work together in unity to provide permanence. The vault holds no space for political or religious conflicts. The Vault holds no space for war. If only mankind could exist in harmony the way nature had designed. 

December twenty first was supposed to be the darkest day of the Winter Solstice, perhaps that’s why Russia chose that day to drop the first bomb. The vault was created to bring back food to civilization should a catastrophe ever happen but it was never prepared for complete Armageddon. Locked up beneath the earth with the destiny to save humanity, simple seeds go no where when humanity has ceased its existence. The irony is not lost on me, that I will spend the rest of my days in this cynical paradox. I am condemned with enough food to save humanity, but burdened to be the last known human alive. In the safest place on earth, isolated, secluded, and desolate, there is little hope that possible survivors will ever make the expedition to my fortress of salvation. Polar night has ended but the earth remains frozen as all living things have evaporated. It's been two thousand four hundred sixty seven days since the last signs of life. It's been two thousand four hundred sixty seven days since I last had light. I squander all my hours fixating on an empty heaven praying for anything in this nothing. The darkness and quite that once use to bring me comfort, pushes me to insanity. Now I find myself envisioning creatures in the corner and listening to the slightest sound, praying to be found as my anxiety reaches its peak. When the darkness consumes me, I find death.