This is it

Submitted into Contest #50 in response to: Write a story about a proposal. ... view prompt



“It’s not what you think,” he said.


I woke up to the sunlight warming my face. Such a good way to start an important day. I stretched and yawned as I sat up. I slightly look towards my phone. I need to know. No, I don’t. It can wait. After getting ready for the day I walk to the kitchen. The cold tiles sent a chill up my spine. I grabbed the eggs from the fridge and a pan from the cupboard. As the sizzling crack of the eggs filled the air, my phone rang. I check my phone to see my boyfriend’s name on the screen. Butterflies fluttered in my stomach. The tingling is such a weird sensation! 

The message read, “You ready for today? I’ve got a whole day planned. Call me!”

I finished making my eggs before sitting at the table. I made the call.

“Hey, baby,” I said flirtatiously. 

“Hey, honey. How are you?”

“Oh, Jack. I’m great. I can’t wait for today.”

His soft full laugh made me smile. I loved being with him. He always excited me.

“You better. It’s our anniversary. I’m going to pick you up soon, okay?”

“Okay, see you soon. I need to get ready!” I said before hanging up.

I jumped out of my seat. I am exhilarated for the two year anniversary of my relationship. I was already planning on marrying him at this point. It would be a perfect day just like today will be. A girl dreams of this day and I’m living it. I felt so childish. The doorbell rang a few seconds after I finished. The butterflies attacked again. I practically ran down the steps. I put my hand through my hair before answering the door. I awkwardly straighten my shoulders when he smiles at me.

“You ready?” his words flew from his mouth.

I giggle, “Yes. Let’s go.”

I reached for his hand as I shut the door. His hand felt shockingly cold and I noticed his distant look. I didn’t know how to feel about it. The wind was blowing against us as we ran towards Jack’s car. Slowly, we drove out of the driveway. The wind blew in my face. My long hair flows behind me. It felt refreshing. I watched the scenery as we drove by. It was beautiful. I smelled the wet dirt from the rain. I loved it.

“Hey, you okay?” Jack asked.

“Yeah. Are you? You’re the one acting strange,” I glanced at Jack.

He shifted in his seat, “Yeah, I think. I’m just nervous and excited for today.

I intently looked at him. I could see his muscles through his tight shirt. His black hair lightly blowing in the wind. He had beautiful blue eyes. I smirked before looking out the window. Jack slowed the car and pulled into a parking spot. 

“Our first stop. The place we met,” Jack smiled.

I got out of the car.

I squealed, “Yes, let’s go! I am so glad you remembered!”

Jack blushed before grabbing my hand. I felt warm and happy inside. I couldn’t help but smile. I started walking quicker, dragging Jack behind me. We met at a spa. 

Once we got inside I asked, “Are we going to get treated?”

“Yes. We’ll get massages and then go for lunch somewhere.”

“Yay!” I embrace him with a hug. 

We walk over to the registration area and sign in. Then, we walk over to the locker rooms.

“I’ll see you in a second.”

I go into the locker room. I grab a towel from the basket and get ready. I quickly walked out to the massage area. I see Jack already there. 

After our relaxing massage, I go to the bathroom. I see a young woman crying.

“Hey, you okay?” I gently ask.

Through sobs she said, “My fiance broke it off.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry,” I sat down to comfort her.

“We were supposed to get married next week.”

“Hey, it’s okay. Clearly, it wasn't supposed to be. Someone else is waiting for you so that he can marry you.”

“You think so?”

“Yes. Now, I have to go, but keep your chin up,” I said smiling.

“Okay. Thank you.”

I rushed off to meet up with Jack. He was standing in the front, waiting. I was so happy to be out of the spa and with him again.

“Where are we going now?”

“You’ll see,” he said slyly. 

We got in the car. We drove for thirty minutes before arriving at my favorite restaurant. I was stoked. This was where Jack asked me to be his girlfriend. I noticed the sun was setting. Has today really gone by that fast? 

“Ooh, I love this restaurant. It’s my favorite!” I exclaimed.

Jack laughed joyfully. I looked at him and saw he was nervous. But why?

“I know. This is why we’re here. It’s also the place I asked you to be my girlfriend. I thought you would say no. I was relieved when you didn’t.”

“Yeah. I’m glad I said yes.”

We walked in hand in hand. I saw my friend, Layla, waiting tables. I was happy to see her. I hoped she would be our waitress.

“Table for two, please,” Jack said patiently.

“Follow me. Here’s your menus,” the kind lady said.

We sat down with our menus. Our table had a nice view of the mountains and no one was near our table. It was peaceful.

“I already know what I’m ordering,” I said as I set the menu down.

“Me too,” Jack replied. 

“You know, the first time I came here was with my dad. He passed away shortly after.”

The air became dense with grief. Jack told me before he felt sorry. But I didn’t want pity.

I cleared my throat, “Hey, never mind that. So, anything else planned for tonight?”

“Yes, but you have to wait and see,” he winked.

I noticed Layla walking towards us. Looks like she was our waitress tonight. Yay!

“Hello, I’m Layla. I’ll be your waitress today. Can I get you any drinks?”

“Just two waters, please,” Jack answered for me.

“Oh, and we’re ready to order. By the way, how are you? It’s been too long!” I asked my old friend.

“I’m okay. Things could be better. What would you guys like to order?” Layla avoided talking to me.

“I’ll have the Double Decker Cheeseburger, please,” I said kindly.

“And I’ll have the steak meal.”

“Alright, that’ll be right out. I’ll bring your drinks shortly.”

“Thanks,” I called as she walked away.

“Well, I have exciting news, honey,” Jack started.

I giggled, “I can’t wait, but I need to go to the restroom. I’ll be right back.”

I walked off towards the restroom. I should’ve gone before we sat down. I thought about what Jack said. Exciting news? Maybe he’s going to pop the question! I opened the bathroom door to see the woman from the spa. She saw me.

“Hey, I want to thank you,” she said.

“Yeah, no problem. How are you?”

“I’m better. Actually, I’m on a date. My friend set me up. I must be going. Don’t want him waiting too long.”

I laughed awkwardly, “Yeah, guess not.”

I began washing my hands. I got a weird feeling in the pit of my stomach. I hurried myself. I walked towards our table slowly. My heels clicking on the tiled floor. Suddenly, Jack came into view. He was facing Layla. He was down on one knee?!

“Jack?” I asked with tears in my eyes.

“It’s not what you think,” he said.

 I slowly backed away. I didn’t want to hear his excuses.

“Bailey, wait!” Jack called after me.

I spun around angrily, “What? Jack? What lame excuse do you have?”

“I was practicing. I wanted to propose to you, but was afraid. I wanted to practice with Layla before you came back. She was in on it.”

I was shocked. I didn’t have any words. It was awfully sweet. I couldn’t believe him. He slowly got down on one knee. Anticipation filled me as he opened the box. A small beautiful ring was there. It was beautiful. I covered my mouth and shook my head.

“Bailey? Will you marry me?” Jack asked.

I hesitated. I could tell it scared him. 

“Yes,” I said quietly.

The crowd cheered and I cried happily. It was a dream come true. I blamed my stupidity for ruining love's perfection. Well, sort of. ;)

July 11, 2020 21:29

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Eve Falls
01:05 Jul 14, 2020

I love the plot and all the little things you added to it, like how she met that woman and comforted her:) but the tense kept changing from past to present. You can fix that by reading it out loud while focusing on one particular tense. Another thing I wanted to point out, is the use of your adjectives. I think, to leave the sentences simple, you can use only one per sentence. You portrayed Baily's emotions well, and overall it was a sweet read!


Grace Jarvis
15:59 Jul 14, 2020

Haha, yeah. I do struggle with tense. :/ I've been trying to get it down, but it's getting there. I see. The thing is, I've been doing a lot of telling than showing. So, this was my first piece that I tried to describe instead of just saying how they feel or look, but thanks for your great advice! I appreciate it!


Eve Falls
02:32 Jul 15, 2020

Your welcome!


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