The Great Madame Espy Der

The fortune teller’s parlor hadn’t looked this creepy from the outside. Sure, the light on the tacky, pink—The Great Madame Espy Der—neon sign had been sputtering and shooting out some dangerous looking sparks and the layer of dust on the windows had been so thick that I could have created 3-D drawings with it, but the inside was worse. 

The attendant who’d greeted me wore a mold-colored hooded cloak that completely covered her body and shrouded her face. She’d led me down a dimly lit corridor and plopped me onto a rickety chair in front of an overly wide door. I shifted uncomfortably, which only made the torn plastic cushion seat irritate my skin. The place was so humid that the uneven stone walls looked like they were sweating. In some spots, tiny rivulets of water trickled down to form large puddles on the grimy floor.

And the ceiling? Every single inch of it was covered in thick spiderwebs.

The lights on the walls flickered as a shiver ran down my spine.

That was it! This place had bad juju. I was done. But when I stood up to go,

the attendant somehow materialized next to me and grabbed my wrist with an iron grip.

“Hey!”

“Madame Der will see you now,” she breathed. Her musty breath made my eyes water.

“That’s okay. I’m good.” I tried to break free of her grasp but she only held me tighter.

“It’s almost lunch time. Sometimes she gets hungry early. If things go horribly wrong, just buzz us.” She pressed a small black box with a red button into the palm of my hand.

I gulped. “Wrong? What could possibly happen?”

The assistant ignored me and waved her free hand around. There was a whoosh of air and the wide door in front of us creaked open

“Let me go!” I shrieked, as she dragged me over to the doorway.

With an unceremonious push, she shoved me into a pitch-black room and slammed the door shut.

Something furry brushed against my arm, making my skin crawl. I threw myself against the door. “Let me out! I’m just a kid.” I rattled the doorknob but the massive door wouldn’t budge. “You can’t do this!” I pressed the red button but nothing happened.

From the other side of the room came a distinct, “Tsk tsk,” followed by a click. Someone must have flipped a switch, because the room was suddenly bathed in a deep red glow that cast long shadows everywhere.

A table with a frilly white tablecloth stood in the corner. Someone was sitting behind it. Correction. Something!

My hands flew to my mouth, stifling a scream. How could I have been so stupid!

Madame Espy Der. The cobwebs…

A giant spider, with garish red lipstick and pink-rimmed cat eye glasses that framed her eight eyes, batted her long rhinestone-studded eyelashes at me and smiled, displaying her sharp teeth.

I pressed my back against the door. This couldn’t be happening. Her body alone was the size of a bull’s. Spiders this big didn’t exist—and they definitely didn’t wear makeup!

Two of Madame Der’s hairy arms shot out and wrapped themselves around me, dragging me towards the table and forcing me down into a spare chair. Another two arms shuffled a deck of tarot cards. A fifth arm brought a cup of steaming hot liquid to the spider’s lips while another tried to force said liquid down my throat.

“Argh!” I sputtered, spitting out the foul tasting thing.

The smile faded from Madame Der’s lips and a rumble sounded throughout the room, bouncing off the walls.

Beads of sweat trickled down my neck when I figured where the sound had come from. Her belly. I had to be careful.

A hairy paw stroked my cheek as Madame Der inspected me, cocking her head from side to side and making clucking noises. “Not the most gracious of entries, was it? And your manners—ouf—don’t get me started.” She ran her tongue across the razor-sharp tips of her teeth.

I tried to give her what I hoped was a friendly smile, but it was hard to do so. My teeth were chattering so much that my skull was vibrating. “Actually, funny story. I walked in here by mistake. I was meaning to go to the bookstore next door. I should get going. I’ve got friends waiting for me, my parents too. Oh, and firemen and the police.” I nodded. “Yep, the whole town’s waiting for me in the bookstore.”

Madame Der stared at me for an uncomfortably long time with none of her eight eyes blinking. “No one walks in here by mistake, child,” she finally said.

I struggled to get up but she pinned me firmly down. 

“Madame Der sees things…she sees into the future. I knew you were coming. You wanted to do something about your brother, no?”    

All my muscles tightened. How could she possibly know?

She spread the tarot cards on the table and flipped one of them over. There was an image of a boy on it.

The spider tapped the card with her paw. “This sibling of yours, he’s most unwelcome, is he not?”

I snorted. “He’s just, you know—annoying.”

Madame Der flipped a second card over, revealing a skull and bones. She looked down at me with a gleam in her many eyes. “You are looking for a way to get rid of him.”

My stomach twisted. I thought back to our last family reunion. All of my aunts and uncles had made a beeline for Antonio, not me. Everyone thought he was so cute. And me...I was nothing. “I just wish he wouldn’t hog all the attention.”

 The spider nodded. “Madame Der understands. You seek justice.”

She flipped a third card over, but instead of another drawing, a movie was playing out on it. Sharks were zipping around in the water and high above them in the rafters, dangling from a thin thread, was a cocoon. I recognized the place right away—the shark tank at the Sea Park.

Antonio was there, on a school trip.

“Madame Der has prepared in advance.” The spider pointed at the cocoon. “She has trapped your brother in there.”

 “You what?” My insides went cold.

Madame Der looked at me, licking her lips. “You want him to disappear?” She slashed the air with her paw. “You want his mouth sewn shut forever?” She waved a silky thread in my face. The same type of thread that held the cocoon in place.

I thrashed against the arms holding me. “No! I don’t want you to do anything. Leave my brother alone!”   

Madame Der narrowed her eyes. “You are not going to use Madame Der’s services? How dare you waste my time! I put off lunch because of you.” She leaned in so close that I could see the evil glint in her eight eyes. “Maybe it’s time for a little snack.”

Without thinking, I bit into one of her arms.

Madame Der screeched and her grip around me loosened. It was all I needed. With a burst of energy, I kicked my way out of her arms and ran to the door, waving my hand in the air. It worked! The door opened and I booked it out of the fortune teller parlor, blasting past the bewildered attendant.

I had to get to Antonio. Who knew how much time I had before the thread holding the cocoon snapped. And if it did—

I arrived at the bus stop just in time to see the number fifty three bus pulling out.

No! I ran faster than I have ever run in my life, it was like the very wind was carrying me. The passengers in the bus screamed at the driver, but he wouldn’t stop.

Antonio.

I couldn’t think about anything else. My legs somehow carried me to the next bus stop. I arrived side by side with number fifty three. When the bus doors finally opened, I leapt in and collapsed onto the steps, holding out my bus pass to the wild cheers of the passengers.

The driver gave me an apologetic shrug and pointed to a sign. “Sorry kiddo. I’m not allowed to open the doors in between stops. Rules are rules.”

By the time we arrived at the Sea Park, I had barely caught my breath back. I looked around. There were hordes of people lining up to buy tickets.

Great, now I’d have to battle the masses to get in. I dug into my pockets and groaned when all I pulled out was my bus pass and a piece of gum. The little money I’d had must have fallen out during the run.

I slumped against a lamppost. Antonio was doomed and it was all my fault.

A tour guide pulled me out of my thoughts when she parked herself right next to me and nearly poked my eye out with the red umbrella she was waving around.

“Over here,” she shrilled. I was almost flattened as a group of very sunburnt tourists stampeded in her direction.

“Easy now,” the guide said. “There’s tickets for everybody and we’re only going in once everyone has theirs.”

The group crowded around her anyway and packed in so tightly together that it was a wonder that she could breathe. The guide called out names, one by one, and greedy hands shot out of the pack to grab the tickets.  

“Jurema Nasa,” she called.

A couple of ladies who had just left the fray with their tickets in hand, tittered next to me.

“I heard Jurema couldn’t make it.”

“That’s right, she twisted her ankle salsa dancing last night.”

I perked up. Sidestepping the two ladies, I fought my way into the group and stuck my hand out. I figured, if I couldn’t see the guide in the middle of so many people, she couldn’t see me.

“Jurema here,” I shouted in a high pitch voice.

As soon as I felt the ticket in my hand, I slunk out of there and headed towards the turnstiles.

There was a group of senior citizens at the very front of the line. They were so busy showing each other photos of their grandchildren that I easily slipped by them. I breathed a sigh of relief when I placed my ticket on the turnstile’s scanner and a green arrow popped up. I went through, only to be stopped by a Sea Park employee.

He glared at me. “You’re holding a red ticket. Are you over sixty and qualified for the senior citizen super discount for a happy joy joy day at the Sea Park?”

“I-Uh.” I racked my brain, trying to think of some excuse, but in the end, I was saved by a loved-up couple who tried to go through the turnstile together and ended up getting stuck.

The Sea Park employee sucked in a breath. “Not this again. I hate people who have second honeymoons.” He pointed a finger at me. “You! Stay right here,” he barked as he stalked off to help the couple.

Fat chance!

I raced through the park, dodging large groups, popcorn carts and high school kids dressed in bulky sea animal costumes.

My kid brother didn’t deserve being stuck in a cocoon. Antonio wasn’t that bad. In fact, he was actually kind of cool—for a six-year-old.

I reached the shark tank arena and slipped in just as they were about to close the doors. The entrance led to the top of the packed stands.

“Stop the show!” I screamed, as I looked down at the sharks in the tank below. But it was too late, loud music blared from dozens of speakers around the arena, drowning me out.

I located the cocoon in the rafters and for a second, forgot to breathe. It was bouncing around like crazy because of the music’s vibration and each time it changed direction, it stretched the thread holding it in place.

That thing was about to snap!

I charged down the stairs that led to the tank.

“Hey kid, where are you going?” an usher called out.

The MC’s voice sounded as four divers paraded into the arena. “Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome our brave heroes who are going to swim with the sharks today.”

Loud cheers erupted from the packed stands.

“Safety first, folks,” the MC continued. “Whatever you do, stay behind the yellow line. We don’t want you turning into shark bait.” He chuckled at his own joke. “Let’s make some noise!”  

The music came back on, louder this time, and the crowd banged their feet against the metal stands, whooping and clapping.

The cocoon spun in place and then—snap!

The world slowed down around me as everything happened at once. The cocoon plunged into the water. I cleared the yellow line painted around the shark tank like an Olympic hurdler. The divers’ eyes widened when they saw what I was about to do and tried to stop me.

Things sped up again when I plunged into the cold water.   

My veins turned to ice when I realized the sharks weren’t even bothered by me. They were circling the cocoon. They were thrashing their tails about so much that I couldn’t even see what was happening—but I could guess.

Antonio!

I didn’t even react when a diver fished me out with a huge net and placed me gently on the ground. The crowd had gone so silent that I could hear the sharks swishing in the water.

I just lay there with my eyes closed. Maybe if I just stayed like this forever, I could pretend everything was okay. But something deep inside me stirred and before I knew it, I was shouting at the top of my lungs.  

“I’m sorry, Antonio. I love you! I didn’t really want you to disappear. I’m sorry!” A sob escaped my lips.

“Carmela?” A squeaky voice called out from the crowd.

Wait. How was that possible? I sat up and flung my eyes open in time to see Antonio rushing down from the stands.  

“That was amazing!” he squealed.

The crowd roared back to life as we hugged each other.

“Just don’t tell mom and dad,” I whispered.

I kissed his chubby little cheeks until he swatted me away.

“Come on,” Antonio pulled me towards the stands, “I want to show you to the other kids. You threw yourself into the shark tank!””

I looked up at the kids staring at me, their mouths hanging open, and smiled. I turned to the divers to thank them but they were staring at the shark tank. “Oh man, the pinata was only supposed to fall at the end of the show. That ruins everything,” said the guy who’d rescued me.

 As we walked up the stairs to join Antonio’s class, a large woman hobbled towards us. Her face was hidden under a red bonnet, until she raised a hairy paw to pull it back. Eight eyes looked down at me from behind pink-rimmed cat eye glasses. She looked pointedly at our interlaced fingers.

“Madame Der does good work, does she not?” Half of her eyes winked at me.

Before I could respond, a scuffle broke out at the top of the stairs. The employee who’d stopped me at the turnstiles burst into the arena with several security guards.

“That’s her! The kid who’s trying to take advantage of Happy Joy Joy Day.”

For a split second, I wished he would just disappear.

As if reading my mind, Madame Der gave me a sly smile. “Madame Der sees things. I have prepared…”