Purple Rain

To my dear loved ones:

I am sorry for leaving you like this but would love nothing more than to tell you about my incredible journey. I am somewhere. Not near, neither far and nowhere you can drive, walk, or fly to; but I am here, nonetheless. It's beautiful and please fill your heart with joy for me, for I really do miss you. I'm writing from a place you've never been nor may visit. This is a permanent residence for I and others and someday you may see me here but in order to your human life will have to perish. Please do not be alarmed or afraid for me, for I am in the best hands. The majority of know whose hands I am referring to, but if you know, you know, saying with a smiley face. Let me put it this way for you all, I am in 'A world of never ending happiness, you can always see the sun, day or night' as Prince wrote and sang. You all know how much I adored him. But nonetheless, your girl is here; a beautiful place, and my gift to you all is to tell you a tale of pain, triumph, rebirth, grace and gratitude.

My story, as you all know, has been very colorful in nature, to put it lightly. I will not bore you all with the mundane details; not that they are not interesting or a bore, by all means. What I am trying to say is that it does not matter much now, not where I am writing this from. All I want to tell you is the beauty I found in my short- lived time on planet Earth with you all. There was so much pain, triumphs, challenges, hardships and oh so many tears and much anger. But not here. Being here made me realize much more than I could when I was down there with you all. Did I forget to mention how much I truly do miss you? Despite all of the joy and peace where I am now, I still feel loss in certain aspects. I do miss my children most, both of you and you know who you are (smiley face). Please never worry for me, I am at peace and I am always watching over you. I wish I could communicate with you more clearly, but I am only allowed to in certain ways. Please just listen to the music, always. I speak to you in that way and I doubt that you are surprised (winking and smiley face). I always enjoyed teaching you the importance and gratitude for music, that part I am proud of. I love you always and that will never change, not even in the afterworld. I am here for you, forever and ever.

My love life was a major never ending and very trivial challenge until I reached 39 years. When him and I first spoke all of that changed. It took so much first; so very, very much prior before I could appreciate his love and devotion. All of the heartache I endured, and even my few past mistakes (in which I paid dearly for, for many years). I accepted that and began to finally forgive myself and after some time realized the message that God was sending. I learned so much and after quite some time I relied on Him for guidance. I just kept praying over and over, for many years until life really started coming into fruition. I learned gratitude, love and grace within this time and really started to enjoy life, truly and finally. I was in His hands, finally (in an earthly manner that is). I was content; satisfied even. I was completely confident in my solitude and quite peaceful with that decision. Don't get it twisted though; I was guarded, calloused and over it all, frankly. But was at a level of confidence only he could break and if I fucked up I knew I could possibly lose it all. No fucking thanks, man (laughing face). I apologize for the parenthesized reaction, we do not have emojis where I am (winking plus smiley face). But I obtained a beautiful sense of gratitude which I never stopped being grateful for, I did not accomplish that alone for sure.

But the story goes on and there I was, just minding my own business, until he came along. Adam. Poor guy, LOL (I can write LOL here, LOL, gotta stay hip to the pop culture, ya know? ). He came out of nowhere, a different continent for that matter. We met organically, but online if that makes any sense. A beautiful soul that brought me so much peace and wrestled through the ruffage in my life. At this point in my stay I was able to appreciate him entirely. He had so much regality, kindness, patience and an all around peaceful nature. I was in Heaven. Well, I mean I am now in actuality, but ya know what I I'm sayin' (winky face).

In all seriousness, this man appeared even though my eyes weren't even all of the way opened yet. No games, no bullshit, just pure sincerity, understanding and kindness. I realized one day, on November the 20th to be exact, that he was 'my person'. I dropped my guard and fell right in. He helped me regain confidence in man and humanity in general. He was kind, earthly, spiritual, loving; all around prepossessing. He was truly sent from God, which I knew but has recently been confirmed (smiley face). My only sorrow is that he had to watch me die, from the life form that you all know of. I will just never forget the sorrow in his eyes, devastating yet beautiful. There is more, so much more, you could only imagine. Life was a journey and the first 39 years for me were retched at most times with sprinkled in spurts of joy, but all around a dismal veil consuming me. It wasn't until then that I started to understand gratitude and true love, seemed to take so long. Maybe it was divine intervention (winky face), but I was happy to be there for the first time. The ten years I had left were absolute magic. I had so much grace and was so thankful that I made it through the storm. I thanked Him every day and really started to appreciate the beauty in most things (humans suck at times, don't get it 'twisted' LOL). But, we all suck at times for a reason, you just have to broaden your humanity and understanding from time to time. You will all figure this out, just have faith! Well, I have rambled enough LOL. My gift to you is this song, a personal favorite (purple heart).

Honey, I know, I know, I know times are changing

It's time we all reach out for something new

That means you too

You say you want a leader

But you can't seem to make up your mind

I think you better close it

And let me guide you to the purple rain

All My Love,

Delilah