Confessions Of A 'Made For TV' Writer

Stan Ghelding walked down the hall and into the large board room where his development team was waiting for him.

“Okay writing team, listen up. This is going to sound crazy.  I realize it is now summer and we’ve already started shooting most our films but, we’ve been tasked from corporate to alter stories that fit into a COVID world. That means you have to alter your current storyboards for this holiday season’s movies so we can be a bit more relevant. We don’t, however, want it to be overwhelming so keep it light and airy. After all, this is The Squallmark Channel. We want love and joy, not isolation and disease.” Stan said with a smile as he walked out the door.

“You’ve got to be kidding me!” Karen said as she turned to Don. “It’s so late in the year already; I am already two thirds through shooting one story and I am in editing on two others. How are we going to rewrite these stories midstream to be ‘more relevant’?” She said making air quotes.

“I’m not rewriting anything; I’ve got a date tonight. Don said slumped down in the black faux leather office chair.

“Just how do you plan on doing that? You can’t just change the names and expect it to work out.” Karen pleaded.

 “That’s exactly what I am going to do. I am just going to add a few things to my existing story and call it good. It’s already summer and they want to make this decision? They will get what they get.” Don said as he got up and walked out. 

“Okay, they want to make last minute changes.” Don said to himself cracking his fingers and putting them on his keyboard “Let’s make some last minute changes.”

Title: The Business Hospital of Love

Abstract: A business hospital woman is due to go home for Christmas when a last minute project is thrown into her lap. Watch as our heroin juggles her work life balance COVID work life balance in this sweet uplifting movie that proves that it’s always the right time for love, and people are never what they seem. 

Production of: The Squallmark Channel Inc.

Production Code: 2020C556-201.1

Main Character Descriptions:

The Girl: A polite, well endowed, Midwestern, highly educated, single, brown hair brown eyed, innocent, successful white chick who works in a business hospital.

The Friend: A larger proportioned, stereotypical, sassy, black woman of unknown origins, education, work history, and background with 2-3 wise cracking catch phrases like “ shut yo mouth”,   “ girl please”,  “girl wash your hands please” and “momma didn’t raise no fool socially non-distancing fool”

The Boss: A short, bald, bitter, miserly, old white man hospitalist

The Coworker: A olive skinned man, 6 foot no problem inches tall, handsome, soft spoken, journal writing, sensitive, boat building, pottery making, guitar playing, secret having, body building, charity giving, highly educated business man doctor, who is also single, available, and not gay.

The Competition: A blond hair, green eyed, overly aggressive socialite with an inferiority complex who feels threatened by The Girls success who also works in business the hospital

Act 1

Fade In

(We open to a fresh snowfall landscape with spruce, Fraser fir, Douglas fir -basically any type of tree that looks like it would be considered a Christmas tree, even if the other parts of the landscape are deciduous- In the back ground lies a very new and official business hospital building. *use stock footage* People with briefcases and cell phones walk by busily with masks on.)

The Girl: (Speaking on the phone) Yes mother I will be home for Christmas. I have to finish this important business hospital project I’m working on before I leave. I am a successful attractive business hospital woman after all. Yes, please tell father I know there is talk of a snow storm, but I will be out to the airport on the road driving by myself adhering to CDC social distancing in plenty of time. 

(Enter The Friend plops down onto the chair, makes faces, and starts throwing office candy at the stays in the hall and does not approach the Girl while she speaks to her mother)

The Girl –cont: Don’t worry. We will be baking cookies together across the room from each other this evening, in matching aprons facemasks, under LED environmentally friendly low energy light bulbs. Good bye mother kisses respectful distance and love. Merry Christmas to you too.

The Friend: Girl you better get out of here there’s talk of a snow storm.

The Girl: (Laughing) O friend, you don’t watch the weather. 

The Friend: Momma didn’t raise no fool. That’s why I follow state local and federal guidelines and you should too.

(Both laugh)

(The boss enters the room. The boss calls on the phone)

The Boss: I’ve got bad news for you doll, headquarters called and they need these numbers tonight. Your project is going into overtime. However just to be sure, you will not be paid overtime.

The Girl: But sir its Christmas Eve.

The Boss: No buts sweet cheeks. This is coming from the top. I’ll be back the day after Christmas to check on everything. Don’t screw this up or your chances of being a business successful hospital woman will go out the window.

The Girl: Yes sir, I’ll get started.

The Friend: I’m leaving. I’ll be back when comic relief or diversity is needed. Merry Christmas and girl wash your hands for 20 seconds please.

(The Girl sits down in her office chair and faces the window where snow starts falling outside. Moody music plays as she looks out into the snow.)

Act 2

(The Girl sitting at her desk frantically typing on her business hospital computer while sad Christmas music plays in the background on her radio. She hears someone singing aloud from behind a mask and leaves her office to investigate. She walks down the hall to find The Coworker wearing headphones standing over the copier wearing gloves singing her favorite Christmas Carol in perfect pitch)

The Girl: I didn’t know anyone else was here

The Coworker: O you startled me. I didn’t know anyone else was here either. We have so much in common.

The Girl: What are you doing here on Christmas Eve? Don’t you know it’s Christmas Eve? I didn’t know anyone else was here.

The Coworker: Yes, but my home is so large and empty during the holidays, so I decided to stay here on Christmas Eve and catch up on work, on Christmas Eve. It’s Christmas Eve.

The Girl: Your face eyes seem so sad; perhaps you would like to talk about it while walking at an unnecessarily slow speed through the courtyard.

Act 3

(The pair walks through the courtyard of the office building together at least 6 feet apart which is decorated to the hilt with enough lights NASA can see it from space.)

The Girl: O it’s chilly out here! She says as she rubs her bare arms.

The Coworker: Please, you can can’t take my coat, my robust metabolism and blood flow keeps my body warm all the time. Tell me about your family.

The Girl: There’s really not that much to say. My father is a world renowned heart surgeon; my mother heads a global equities firm and makes the world’s best chocolate chip cookies. Christmas is such a special time for us to be close quarantined together, with our golden retriever by the fire, my father in his slippers with a pipe and the paper sanitized object. My mother in the kitchen making supper for everyone with a face shield and gloves on. It’s perfect really. 

The Coworker: I’m sorry you are spending your Christmas here with me.

The Girl: It’s not all terrible. (She smiles winks at him) Tell me about you.

The Coworker: Well I am from a small western European country that you’ve never heard of. My father is king and my mother is queen. I moved here to follow my dream to become a business man doctor. The rest is history.

The Girl: So… You’re a doctor and a prince?

The Coworker: Does that bother you?

The Girl: No

(They approach a bench and sit down. From behind the bench The Coworker reaches into the snow and grabs a silver tray with mugs, marsh mellows, and a thermos of hot chocolate bottle of hand sanitizer.  As they sit together Christmas carolers no one show up in the building hospital courtyard dressed in Victorian Clothing)

The Coworker: Can I offer you a hot chocolate hand sanitizer. I had this ready just in case you wanted some.

The Girl: Yes, thank you. How did you know I liked hot chocolate hand sanitizer?

The Friend: (From an open window – with mask on) You go girl! Good job maintaining proper distance and using all recommended protective equipment.

(The couple looks across the parking lot to see a contest  gathering of 5 or fewer people. *Options for contest could be a snowman building contest maybe or a tree decorating contest, or a present wrapping contest or a ginger bread making contest, or a cookie baking contest, or ice sculpting. The couple walks towards away from the contest small social gathering that requires no registration or fees and gets a front row spot against 4 other couples with a crowd of spectators clapping in red mittens.)

Don took a break, rubbed his eyes and leaned back in his chair. “So far, so good, but how am I going to write around the upcoming group contest scene?” He looked at his watch. “Screw it, I’ll just delete all the parts around people and conflict, we don’t need an antagonist”

Act 4

(The Girl and The Coworker approach the group of people gathered for the contest no one while keeping their distance from each other. People are all wearing bright colored mittens and scarves with Christmas colors. The judge calls everyone together and explains to them the rules of the contest and our pair are put up front and center against The Competition, a coworker of The Girl who has, for some reason, always hated The Girl and her success. The completion comes down to two teams who of course results in The Girl and The Coworker winning. The Competition storms off in a dramatic fashion.)

The Girl: I love being around people and competing listening to all the Christmas stories and songs people sing together on the radio.

The Coworker: Speaking of radio, did you know I used to be a professional snow sculptor? Let me show you how to make a proper snow man. (The Coworker takes off his shirt)

The Girl: All I know how to make is a snowball.

(The two start a snowball fight with each other after putting on rubber gloves and face shields. The pair laugh and fall gently into a snow bank together. They look into each other’s eyes as they realize they cannot fight their true passion for each other violated CDC guidelines and quickly get space from each other and wash their hands.)

Act5

While the couple was gone someone has decorated the interior of the office hospital with tons of Christmas decorations. It’s a winter wonderland. sanitized the hospital floor with bleach and alcohol.

The Girl: O I don’t care if you are rich, chiseled, sensitive, and a prince. I love you just the way you are, and I want to be with you forever.

The Coworker: And I don’t care if you are just a woman. I love you too. Let’s get married now.

(At this moment the clock strikes midnight. It’s Christmas)

The Girl: How did you know I wanted to be married on Christmas day?

The Coworker: I’ve always known

(The two share a kiss agreeing nod under the mistletoe eye wash station.)

The Friend: You go girl.

Fade to black

THE END

Finish, Publish 2020C556-201.1 print and expedite release of Business Hospital of Love to production unit.

“And that’s how it’s done.” Don said as he closed his computer. “That’s why the call me the Lead Writer.”