The Courage to Live

TW: Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

The path she walked upon contradicted itself; for it strived to remain within the last rays of sunlight yet engulfed itself in a prolonged shadow. The Golden Gate Bridge was closing for the day’s visitors, which seamlessly blended in with the cars, passing by the invulnerable woman in a complete blur. However, one visitor centered the attention of the young woman. His sleek black hair shielded the side of his face; his forearms rested upon the railing and his body leaned forwards, such as a fan trying to catch a glimpse of their favorite celebrity. Yet, the youthful man was only gazing intently at the endless waters below; his black and misty eyes taking in the words of the turquoise nightmare. The young woman reminisced upon her miserable days for a brief period. Of course, it was the first time she had regarded the man, yet she apprehended the noxious sentiments within his heart. As the fatal voices within the man beckoned and circulated around the young lady, she eventually seized a breath of confidence and proceeded towards the source of the darkness.

“Tell me, what grief disturbs your mind every day?”

The man widened his dark eyes and gasped for a breath of air. The woman’s consoling voice was the bridge that brought the man back to reality from drowning in the midst of his eternal agony. The man clenched his grip on the steel railing; his knuckles resembling four snowy mountains and three valleys. With the man’s eyelids almost concealing his resentment towards life, he muttered,

“How would you know of anything? Just quit acting like you care so much.”

The woman shifted her luminous eyes to the soundless killer below, seeking a genuine reason for its unmerciful intentions. It was a sort of monstrous creature that was capable of coaxing an individual without the need of conversing directly. Again, the young woman hindered their conversation,

“It’s true that I don’t know a thing about the other people connected to your life. But I care enough about you to save your life.”

The man turned his head towards the woman out of astonishment, facing the woman. In response, the woman glanced into the man’s eyes, attempting to dismiss the dark, hazy void within them through intimidation. The man raised his head towards the ombré of the warm sunset and sighed,

“I’ll be going to Heaven soon, and it’ll finally mark the end of my misery. It’s the only way I can possibly see him again.”

The young woman leaned her forearms against the steel railing and asked,

“Tell me something, what was this man like? Who exactly was he to you?”

“A really close friend of mine, we used to spend a lot of time with each other,” the man reminisced and closed his eyes, “Just like a brother. He was always putting the burden of the world on himself.”

The man felt a sharp sensation take over the front of his nose. Even with the inflated lump in his throat, he continued,

“I just remember him being so passionate about everything. He wanted to be some kind of a doctor and look after the well-being of other people.”

The man clenched the fist of his right hand and held his forehead with his left. The woman noted that anger had begun to take over the face of the man by painting it bright red. Subsequently, the young lady stated,

“I understand. I can sense that feeling in your heart when you’ve lost someone you’ve loved with so much passion. Knowing that you two have been separated into two different dimensions forever.”

The woman peered into the remains of the sunset; the cool night was nearly ready to take control over the world. From the corner of her eyes, she saw the man nodded his head slightly, his chin rested upon his fingers with his elbows meeting the metal railing. It was then that the black sleeves of the man’s sweatshirt gave in, and revealed another aspect of his suffering—the grievous wounds which engraved his left arm; facing towards the young woman, who noted them instantly,

“But also,” she added, “harming yourself over something that isn’t in your control won’t destroy you, no matter how hard you try. In reality, it’s shattering the hearts of those who care about you.”

The man raised his eyebrows, unexpecting of the insight that the young lady exhibited. He glided his eyes down at her forearms to confirm if his thoughts were true. Her’s were a light brown color, equivalent to the color of her beautiful eyes. The man stared at his scars in wonder. Had he really been focused on himself that he became oblivious of the hearts of others? A silence filled the air around them, for even a descending pin could be heard tearing through the atmosphere. The man finally responded,

“It’s my destiny to go to Heaven. I’ve believed in God my entire life,” he glanced up at the dimmed sky, “and only He is capable to reunite me with the one I’ve treasured the most.”

The woman felt a rush of fury hammering her heart. She hastily stood up tall, startling the man beside her. She stiffened her eyebrows and, in the blink of an eye, latched her fingers on his shoulders and rotated the man towards her; she made sure the man’s gaze met her’s and elevated her voice,

“I just don’t get it! I don’t understand your ideals about destiny or all this other God stuff,” she strengthened her grip upon the man’s shoulder, “you’ve gotta realize that when you jump from that railing, no miracles will save you. Only YOU can save yourself before it’s too late!”

At that specific moment, the man felt an extraordinary sensation warm his heart. He stood frozen and dumbfounded—a film of pure tears within his eyes granted a stunning twinkle to illuminate them. His mouth appeared to be slightly gaping, unable to let out a single syllable. The woman had eventually let go of the man, but still, she focused her unwavering gaze on his glistening eyes and continued,

“And what would you tell him if you did end up in Heaven and saw him? If you told him that you killed yourself, he’d never forgive you. You’re the only one in this world whose capable of carrying on his dream of helping other people. So you’ve gotta live on for his sake.”

The man imagined being with his best friend and surrounded by the blinding lights of Heaven. His friend looked in the man’s eyes with dejection and turned away from him forever. The man closed his eyes, allowing the welled-up tears in his cloudless eyes to stream his face,

“Thank you. Thanks for everything,” whispered the man.

The young woman proceeded to hold the man close to her, providing reassurance and comfort to him as he wept his way into the impending nightfall. In the end, the man finally understood that the courage to experience life to the fullest is the outstanding miracle that life gives to an individual.