Some secrets are best kept secret, yet more exciting when spoken about

Relationships and friendships are hard to distinguish between one and the other, because they are considered separate, yet similar in more ways than one. How can we know which is the beginning of the other or which happens at the same time, where they become inter woven as one? Seems that most of the time we find ourselves wrapped up in the moment, wrapped up in the discovery of something new, that we lose sight of which is which and whether one may lead to the other. How can a secret be kept, if the secret should never be kept at all? How can a secret be allowed to become part of the friendship, much less of the relationship, when the very secret kept could either destroy one or the other, or even worse, both at once? In secrets, sometimes a secret is meant to be taken to the grave, held onto tightly, only to be known about between the person and none other. I have never been one that liked someone else sharing a secret with, and that same person asking me to not tell a soul about such secret, even after they are the ones to share the secret with others themselves. A kept secret becomes a responsibility, another placing the person told of the secret, to be trusted with such that it can be as though their lives depended on you being the keeper of a treasure. A secret can make or break the moment, like the sun rising in the morning sky, and like thunder on a rainy night, bold and unexpected. To see the secret, as more like classified and never to be spoken of, can sometimes make the person told the secret, to feel guilty or wishing that such secret, had never been shared or uttered. To reach out, within the mind, not sure how to respond or reply to that which has been entrusted to them for safe keeping and under "lock and key". Anytime a secret is mentioned, it then no longer is considered a secret, as it has been spoken about to at least one other party, and then becomes a secret between two people. The person who has spoken and the person who was spoken to, are brought into a verbal agreement of such secret, that may or may not ever be mentioned, unless to place a wedge in the friendship and or relationship. I was on the receiving end of such a secret, where my wife (at that time), made it known she was having an affair ( more than one) with various friends of mine. I was confided in about such affairs, by many of the various parties with whom the affairs had taken place with. Of course each party, made it clear that they did not want anyone else to know of such a travesty, and asked that I kept this secret between the two of us. My wife was more than adamant about her affair(s), as though it was her glowing achievement(s) in life and that she was wanting to fill a void in her life, especially her married to I. I was not sure whether I should announce that I was well aware of her devious tryst, especially that it was no longer her secret, nor mine either. I let her gloat, let her brag and sneer at the idea, that we were the only ones who knew. It was more of a disappointment and a letdown, to say the least. This was a secret that had brought with it failure and shame, let alone, devastation that true love was shattered and made more frail than I wanted to believe possible. How was I to keep this secret from anyone or allow myself to racked with such that I became bewildered and saddened? I never recovered and yes the secret was revealed by her to those closest to her, only to cause more pain than joy to say the least. The secret caused me to make a decision to leave her, after she decided to become a lover permanently with the last person she had an affair with. I have kept this secret with me and have replayed the secret that caused pain and heartache, sorrow and tears, unhappiness and distrust. I have had to rethink about such a secret, being as painful and causing a knot in my stomach, a headache in my head and never truly allowing me to trust others completely again. I was happy, that I took with me, that one secret for many years. I never felt the need to look back to the past, or to even bring the past into the present. That secret surely will never affect my future. I have chosen to be by myself, to know that with this secret, this individual will never be allowed to ruin any chances of any future relationships and/or friendships. I know that secrets can destroy a person, no matter how devastating they are, no matter how much some feel they should be kept. But who will be the ones to benefit from such a secret? Who will be the ones to gain? How can the damage created from such a secret not have lasting affects, causing irreparable, irreversible, unspoken agony and pain? Secrets can cause one to change and to be changed. They can cause the guilt to become so overwhelming and frustrating, that one can never find a way to share or even speak of such that the person who shared, felt was very innocent. Secrets are not always meant to be shared, yet secrets create insecurity and jealously, cause suspicions and deception, cause a person to lose faith and hope. As I stated before, I have never betrayed a friend's trust when sharing with me a secret, but on the case of certain secrets, some are never meant to be kept secret, no matter how much one wants them kept. A secret shared can either make you or break, leave you high and dry or leave you with a knowledge that can keep you in the dark.