So We Meet Again

Her laughter was what I imagined life to sound like. I have always struggled to find a reason to go on but after meeting her, she became my anchor. My reason for living. My life. We often talked about the future and about raising children together. She wanted a little boy first, I wanted a girl but honestly, I couldn’t care less as long as they’d have her smile. The way her eyes almost disappeared because of her cheeks when she smiled yet the spark in them was visible still and brighter than the first star in the night. But just like the stars always served as an aid for sailors. The spark in her eyes was my compass in the darkness that threatened to consume me.

Her light, even if she didn’t know it, always saved me from all the darkest thoughts. When I was with her, she was all I could think about. It was her and only her. Many times I tried to write her a poem or a song or just a simple letter but no words could ever show the love I held for her. She’s my everything. My lover, my future wife, the mother of my children, my savior.

I would travel through the stars for her. Through galaxies.

Ever since meeting Raina, I found every excuse to be near her. Even if it was just to watch her paint or hum while she was cooking, wouldn’t even let me help, said that I would be in the way but I couldn’t help myself. At least I was allowed to hand her the things that were out of her reach. Though she never asked me to, instead she let me watch her struggle to reach the top shelves as she got on her tiptoes. A stubborn one she was but I suppose I wouldn’t love her as much as I do if she wasn’t. I wouldn’t even be here in fact. She was the one who came up to me first, I was hesitant.

Many times I told her I was no good for her but she never listened. Not once. Perhaps she was just as entangled as I was. God, I hope she is. I searched for her for so long despite everything. Despite being no good. Despite being less than she deserves. But I guess I am selfish.

I always tried to push her away though. Not that she budged. The more I pushed the more she seemed to get close. Almost as if I was trying to pull instead of push. Maybe it was like with those door signs, you read push but instinctively you pull.

Either way, we were tied together. Soul tied? Perhaps. I like the sound of it.

She was my painter, I was her hunter. The target of my hunt? It was her at times that much is true but in the normal way of speaking, my target was a creature called Covinen. Or rather Covinens as there were many more than one.

What are they? Well, there was a disease going around years ago. Many died or so we thought. The disease made it seem like the infected person had died but instead, they went into a coma-like state. Some call it the metamorphosis since when the person woke up, they were no longer themselves. Their eyes are completely white, mouths hanging wide open, body crooked.

Their appearance might fool you as well as their limping but they’re not slow. No. Once they spot you, they are after you. They can produce this ear-tearing screech to slow their prey down as well which is also why we, the hunters, wear special earbud-looking devices. I won’t bother you with the detailed description, earbuds will suffice.

There are more Covinens, or Covs as we call them for short, than people now, it’s easy to get infected as it takes a simple bite or just a drop of the venom that drops from their fangs. My brother was one of the ones who fell victim to them. As well as Raina’s family. She was the only one who managed to get away, told me it was thanks to her father but I never got the details. I never asked.

I still remember how hard it was to lose my older brother, I can’t imagine losing a whole family in the blink of an eye. I never got to meet mine, me and my brother were orphans, got by on our own before the disease spread. He was always the adventurous type and wanted to see them up close. The last wish he got fulfilled.

His death was what motivated me to become a hunter in the first place. The hunter’s job is to clear areas of Covinens and make the space available for humans again. We were successful mostly but there was still more than enough ground to purify.

Raina stayed with me at the base, or the “sanctuary” as most called it. It wasn’t only a place for the hunters but also the other survivors, ordinary people who had lost so much. I met her after my first year of service, my unit came across her and a few others when we were sent out. Since then I pretty much didn’t leave her side. Strange I suppose since we were strangers who just met but I felt the pull.

Before meeting her I didn’t care much for coming back from my missions but when she entered my life, I did my damn best to come back every time. Preferably unharmed as she was always worried sick, scolding me for the slightest scratch.

But today when I returned, she seemed different. As if she wasn’t even here with me.

I took off my vest and set it aside before walking over to her, tilting my head while her back faced me. She was sitting on the bed, unmoving which was a bit unsettling.

“Rai?” I spoke to her, reaching to place my hand on the side of her arm, caressing it gently. “Rai…” I spoke again, softer this time.

My body came to a stop at the edge of the bed and I leaned down to be on her level, my head hovered above her shoulder. Finally, she moved, her head turned slightly in my direction.

“Hi.”

Her voice was barely audible. Something was off. Usually, she would run up to me and jump into my arms but now she barely acknowledged me.

My eyes drifted from her face to the many papers in front of her. Her drawings were scattered across the bed. Lately, she had been drawing more, I thought it was great, that maybe she just felt her creativity coming back after the block but maybe I should’ve paid more attention to what she was drawing rather than just the fact that she was drawing.

I furrowed my brows slightly in confusion as I scanned the drawings. All of them were drawn with charcoal-like black, messy lines without any defined shape and yet I could see the disturbing faces that stared at me from them.

“What’s all this?” I asked her but she didn’t respond, not for a long while.

“Drawings,” she said eventually.

Well. No shit.

I sighed, wrapping my arms around her and resting my chin on the top of her head.

“Can see that much, love,” I tried to sound soft, “What are they?”

Silence. Again.

“Family.”

She whispered. The whole time she was just still, as if I was hugging a tree.

Family…

I looked at the drawings again, looking far from the people I saw in the pictures she had shown me.

“I see,” I ended up saying, not wanting to upset her, “I’m glad you felt like drawing again. I know you struggled for a while.”

I placed a kiss on the top of her head but she just hummed, no other response.

For a moment I just stayed with her like this, just like I usually did after returning home but eventually, I pulled away. Kept my hands on her arms though.

“Jiako wanted to talk to us.”

Jiako was the boss around here and basically founded the place. Or he acted like it at least. Cocky bastard but at least he did his job well.

“Why.”

It didn’t even sound like a question from her lips.

“Not only us, Rai,” I assured, “It’s about everyone. Some important info or whatever. Probably just some routine shit. Will be over quickly, don’t worry.”

There was no response from her again but she followed me when I took her by the hand and led her out of the door. The whole way to Jiako she was silent, not a sound other than the occasional soft wheeze she let out. Probably just her asthma acting up again. Should take her to the medic afterwards.

When we reached the big boss himself there was no one else yet which was weird since we were usually late to every meeting he called. Maybe he told me the earlier time so we would be on time? Because if the meeting was supposed to start at the time he had given me, we would be late. Again.

“Eight,” he greeted.

The hunters didn’t really have names here. We had nicknames, most preferred it I guess but I didn’t care. When they asked about mine, I just gave them the number eight which coincidentally was also Rai’s favorite number.

“Ako,” I said back.

He hated it when I called him that but somehow I always got away with it. Most of the time I just got an angry huff or a scoff in return.

“What’s up?” I asked without letting him speak further, “Where’s everyone?”

“They’ll be here,” he assured, folding his hands in front of his chest. As if he didn’t look big enough.

“Right,” I huffed, stealing a quick glance at Rai who stood beside me. There was no change in her behavior.

When I looked back at Jiako he just nodded his head in the lab’s direction.

“Come,” he wasn’t asking.

With my brow arched in confusion I followed, dragging Rai with me.

“Are you never tired of this ‘mysterious aura’ thing you have going on?” I asked, irritated by being left in the dark.

He didn’t respond, letting his hands fall by his sides as he walked. Our footsteps echoed against the metal walls until we entered the lab. There were many vials and other things I considered clutter. They were probably important but I was no lab rat to know.

Finally, we came to a stop in front of one of the big screens. There was some data I couldn’t even read and then more bullshit that was unreadable to me.

“What?” I asked, still irritated by his lack of explanation for our presence here.

He hummed, his eyes on the screen though I’m pretty sure he was just as lost as me.

“Remember the Cov from last week?” he suddenly asked.

My brows furrowed. Why was he asking about that now? Yeah, the Cov was unusual so we brought it for testing but nothing came up as far as I know.

“Yeah,” I shrugged, “What bout it?”

Jiako nodded, “Got results.”

“Mkay? Thought we did that already.”

The hell was he talking about?

“The bastards are evolving,” he said, his expression unreadable but I noticed the anger in his eyes.

Like many others, even he lost people to the Covs. His pregnant wife fell victim a long time ago, he never spoke of her but ever since that day he just grew bitter.

“Evolving how?”

I must’ve been too eager to know. So eager I failed to notice Rai’s hand left mine.

“Eight,” he said in that apologetic voice of his as he turned to look at me.

I hated when he spoke that way, like people always spoke to me and my brother when we were kids. As if I needed the pity. What would I need it for anyway?

“Spit it,” I hissed.

He sighed as if there was a heavy burden on his shoulders that slumped.

“No easy way to say this,” he admitted, “You took Raina to look at the Cov earlier, didn’t you?”

“No,” I said immediately.

I did. It was forbidden, I knew that but she begged me to see one. Said it would help her overcome her grief better if she faced the creature that took her family. I was strictly against it. Until I wasn’t. Could never say no to her.

“Camera footage,” he sighed in disappointment.

Fuck. Was I so stupid? Guess I was.

“Fine yeah, I did. So what? Nothing happened.”

“Not that day no,” he agreed, “But she came back.”

HUH?

I couldn’t believe my ears, my eyes widened.

“What? When? Why would she?” way too many questions left my mouth.

“I don’t know,” he shook his head, “We ran tests on her earlier, just to be sure she was okay. She ran away after we drew her blood, couldn’t find her anywhere so we assumed she might show up when you returned and she did. Hence why I asked you to come to the meeting.”

My lips parted but before I could say anything I heard that familiar wheeze behind me. That’s when I finally acknowledged the absence of Rai’s hand in mine. When I turned to look for her, I was met with the sight of her held by Kino. His hand held a knife to her throat, her eyes cloudy and soulless as soft wheezes left her mouth.

I immediately reached for my gun, pointing it at Kino. I didn’t care if he was Jiako’s little guard dog. I would shoot him dead if he as much as scratched Rai.

“What the fuck?” I exclaimed, “Let go of her. Now.”

“Eight.”

Jiako’s firm voice spoke to me but it only further fueled me, my grip tightened.

“Let go,” I ordered but Kino didn’t budge.

“I can’t afford for a Cov to run around the base, Eight, you know that.”

“That’s Rai. Not a Cov,” I protested. Too deep in my denial.

“Rai is dead, look at it,” Jiako spoke while Kino pressed the knife against her neck further, “She’s not here.”

I shook my head, my throat was burning as I fought back my tears. My lips were pressed together as my grip on the gun loosened and tightened like a pulse. My eyes were searching hers but I could barely see their color. The spark in them is long gone.

Before I could do anything, they took advantage of me being distracted by my conflict. The sound of the knife slicing through the flesh of Rai’s neck is something I will never forget. The sound of her death as the blood poured out while she gasped for air since Kino didn’t apply enough pressure. But she didn’t even look at me. She didn’t look panicked. She just laid there, gasping before the noises faded. Her lifeless body was in front of me on the ground.

No matter how many times I get to witness this sight, it will never get easier. I saw her die so many times. Right in front of me, right out of reach.

What am I talking about? You see, when I mentioned I would travel through stars for her, I wasn’t lying not really.

As I stared at her body, I brought the gun to my temple and pulled the trigger before Jiako or Kino could stop me.

Reincarnation is real. And I look for her in every life of mine. I remember everything from our past, but she doesn’t. In every life I got to meet her in, she died right in front of me. Because of me. If she hadn’t met me, she would most likely be happy and alive. But as I said, I’m selfish. I cannot be without her.

This time I tried to warn her, tried to push her away but she stayed. We were close though, so maybe in the next one, it will be as it should be. Us together.

So here I was again, standing in front of her in yet another life. Introducing myself once again.

“Call me Nine,” I said with a smile, knowing the familiar question will follow.

“Have we met before?”