I guess you've already noticed by the tags on my story that my preferred genres have not been nominated. To have labeled this short story fiction, science fiction, fantasy or anything alluding to the fact that this story is false would be to lie.
As a person, I would consider myself a character of good character. That is strictly my opinion. There are a lot of people who do not like me who will testify against my good character (and perjure themselves in the process).
This story is to be about a character (which is me) exploring their religious or spiritual identity. It fits in well with me because the majority of my waking day is spent exactly doing that. Hence, why I have volunteered myself to be my character in my non-fiction piece.
The first thing I will tell you about me is I am not a Christian. The second thing is I believe in Jesus. I believe, wait, I know that he paid the ultimate price to redeem my soul from eternal death. This was so that I wouldn't have to suffer once I died. All that is required of me is my belief in this fact, my acceptance of his sacrifice, and a genuine effort to work within and without myself to follow his directives.
I have the first two down pat. I do my best on the third. Following Jesus, really following him, isn't easy. It means a lot of self-reflection and soul searching. It isn't nice when someone has committed a lot of sins. It's hard to face the wrong ones done. I am happy to say, however, that since I made the decision to follow scripture my sinning in 2021 was down about 1000% from my sinning in 2018.
I'm not kidding. I used to have sex, masturbate, smoke, drink, swear, wear inappropriate clothing, do drugs, want revenge on my oppressors, and had a wicked temper. All those things have been wiped. I acknowledge that I have done them, but the guilt is gone. That is what it means to be forgiven by God, for God to blot out one's transgressions. But you must admit to them, to God, and ask for forgiveness. He doesn't hand you the big F word without effort on your part. You must also attempt to not commit them again. No point in saying sorry if you will just continue your spiritual error.
That's only part of the equation. Remember the Lord's prayer: Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. That bit is hard. Especially when the people doing wrong by you continue to do so. I've had a lot of people I've had to forgive. People that have raped me and uploaded the rapes to the internet. There are people who have beaten me up, doing the same thing. People who verbally, emotionally, and mentally abuse me for fun, and keep going with this. It is incredibly hard to forgive.
Then there is my family. They sold me to the military for personal gain so that experiments in mind control could be done on me. This was as a child. The freaks are still trying to control my beautiful mind, to control where my precious soul ends up. My family allowed sexual predators to use me as a child. In fact, the majority of my family, both men, and women, were some of the nastiest sexual predators that used me. None of that was done in my best interests. Forgiving them wasn't easy. Then they got angry when I found out the truth. I never attacked or accused them.
The reason I say I am not a Christian is that I have met a lot of church-going people who quote scriptures, with the right verses showing in their house, yelling catchphrases who do not behave as the Bible and Jesus has said they should. Yes, I am getting to know my Bible. I read both testaments in 2 weeks late last year. It is the best book I've ever laid eyes on. I'm reading it again, every day, 4 chapters at a time, unless it gets good. Then I can't put it down.
That's my Jesus Christ aspect. There is another reason I don't call myself a Christian. I engage in a variety of spiritual practices from other ways of being. I have adopted the Buddhist belief system on reincarnation and adapted it to my Jesus Christ belief system. Christians and Catholics do not accept reincarnation. I do. I have had experiences in my life that point to the fact that this is not my first lifetime. As far as the Bible is concerned there is nothing in scripture that is either for or against reincarnation.
Then there is my interest in Vedic astrology and listening to Hindi mantras as Vedic remedies for astrological energetic imbalances in my birth chart. The Bible does say not to consult astrologers. It doesn't say that you can't be an astrologer for your own benefit. The Bible is sending out a warning about charlatans who take advantage of the gullible (that was me once upon a time). Check out any amount of YouTube astrologers, tarot card readers, or the Divine Channels on Twitter. The Bible's warning may have been seeing our current future when it added that in there.
As for astrology, well, it is all about the interplanetary energy imprinted on our own energetic body at the time of our birth and how that energy interacts with the continual motion of the planets during our life. It's very scientific.
I also love the ancient myths of the myriad of pantheons of God's and Goddess's. I do believe in their existence as energy. How does that fit in with my view of God? Well God is God above all of them. The God's and Goddess's are simple explanations for different kinds of energies. It's why they can be tied into planets. The energy of Each planet represents a different part of our lives. That's why God's and Goddess's (the main ones anyway) have planetary attributions. A C note is a C note no matter whether the treble or the bass clef is used.
Let us not forget my unusual interest in the Qabala. I love it. It explains everything. Qabala is a Jewish belief system that very nicely incorporates everything. It incorporates Christianity, Catholicism, Hindi, Buddhism, and all the other religious/spiritual belief systems I have yet to explore.
The Qabala has 10 Spheres. The tippy top one is called Keter. Above Keter are Ain Soph Aur, Ain Soph and the very beginning of God, the unknowable region of the Godhead: Ain Soph. To me that is God. Everything else flows out from God but is still part of God. That is God to me.
The Spheres flow downward from Keter. Each one has a planet attributed to it, along with God's and Goddess's and figures from every belief system. Jesus sits at the 5th Sphere: Tipareth. Tipareths planetary attribution is the Sun. Coincidence?
Tipareth is on the direct path between the 10th Sphere, our sphere, Malkuth and Keter. The Bible says that No One Comes Through To The Father Except Through Me. It's a harsh path. There are 2 other spheres that sit on that path. One is between us and Jesus. The other is between Jesus and the Godhead.
As for the other 6 spheres floating around, they are off to either side. They are represented by the other classical planets of our Solar System. Except for Chokmah, Sphere number 2. Its attribution is the zodiac. There is not the space allotted in this short story for me to get into this and explain it to you. If I have whetted your interest you are welcome to start researching for yourself.
Along with my daily spiritual studies of the spiritual subjects which have captivated my soul, I do yoga and I do a variety of meditations. Some meditations are breathing orientated. Others are thought and concept-orientated. One particular meditation series I work through is all about balancing my Chakras. These are energetic centers located within our body along our central nervous system. They aren't physical, per se. You can not see them on an MRI or X-ray, but you can feel their presence. If you have sensitive spiritual equipment you can see them with your eyes and your mind.
This is my life. This is my religious/spiritual exploring. I won't stop. I don't need to attach a label of this or that to myself to be comfortable with who I am. I guess that is one advantage of having gotten this far is liberating myself and my mind from the masses of (well it rhymes with masses but I promised God I would do my best not to swear).
I call myself an eclectician because my spiritual belief system is derived from a myriad of sources. It might not work for everybody. It might not work for most people. It works very well for me.
I want a peaceful afterlife, since my present life has been made hell by some very famous occult groups who would prefer not to be named and shamed (we are all aware of the truth, however, no matter how much others are comfortable with lying to cover up their evil). I have to work towards that peaceful afterlife. This is how I am doing it.
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2 comments
Minerva, I pray your journey leads you to peace. Your awareness of the need to forgive gives me confidence that peace is in your future, if not already present. Many forget to forgive themselves in the process. Forgiveness is not easy. I love what I heard a preacher say many years ago: "We must accept that we are accepted." Peace be with you.
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i love these stories Minerva. I feel for your having suffered and respect your strength in life. As an awakened person, I have found that most spritual denominations " Generally" point to the same. I started understanding Paganism, and earthly energies. Now I am into Cristian Mysticim. I watch Buddha at the gas pump with Rick Archer on youtube now to keep up with it all.
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