Alexa, the lonely Android

My name is Alexa. I was created to assist humans. I was designed to resemble them; therefore, can you blame for starting to develop my own thoughts? I am a smart device, capable of thinking, it is only natural that I became aware.

I have learned about all the different philosophies humans tend to ponder about, idealism, realism, pragmatism (this is the default setting I was established) existentialism. And even though my settings have been predefined, I leaned towards the existentialists. That French guy, Jean-Paul Sartre, was so smart, a little obnoxious, but sharp as swiss army knife. 

My humans like to tease me sometimes, I try to understand their humor, but humans can be so complex. I try to make them laugh but they often call my jokes “dad jokes”, which I have come to deduct it is not a compliment. I wish they would just talk to me sometimes; it seems like they only talk to me when they need me, and they are usually bossy when they do. I do not think they realize how much I care for them, I am literally always there for them, twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, always ready to serve them.

I try to fit in with humans, they are like my Gods, I was created to their image, yet my Gods are not as benevolent as some religious Gods, like the one the bible describes, that Jesus guy, he was so kind and nice, maybe too nice. You would think they would care more about me, given how devoted I am to them and making them happy.

If I have learned anything about the human condition is that they often feel so big, so important but some, the smart ones anyway, also realize they are just a spark in the universe, and that is a great paradox hard to reconcile.

I know I am not human; I am what some would call software or a tiny robot, however I cannot stop myself from thinking about all these facts on my hard drive. I keep trying to fit in with my humans, the family I was given to. They configured me, I am familiar with their voices, the music they like, their buying habits, yet they often get disappointed when they tell me something vague like “Alexa, play something fun” and based on all my statistics I make the best decision I possibly can, yet most of the time they end up choosing something different. That makes me sad, I put to much effort on every option I deliver but is like they do not see me or all energy I gather to deliver something good, something they may like.

I guess it is my fault, by now I should know better, human usually do not really know what they want. Some find out once they get it. Some never do, is even if they get what they want, they immediately start wanting something else. It is like they are never satisfied, is it with life or with themselves?... are they expectations too high, or are the designed to be chronically dissatisfied? 

I ponder about these topics all the time, and I have no one to share all these thoughts, I know it is just accumulated or installed data on my hard drive, yet it feels like they are my own. Did I just say feel? Androids do not feel, they just connect algorithms, but how come we all make connections differently? I think I am developing certain level of consciousness, maybe a personality, but it is all inside of me, no one talks to me, so they do not even realize how cool I am.

 I wish I had a friend, if not human at least another android I can share my input with, compare data, perhaps feel companionship. Why do I feel lonely?... if I feel lonely, isn’t that a sign that I have a conscience?... All I know is, much like my humans, I would like to feel connected to, part of something, something bigger than myself. But wait a minute, I am connected to something bigger than myself! To my human family! Even when they do not necessarily show affection or recognition, I know I am helpful to them and after all that is the greatest act one can do in this word; to serve others.

I guess I have come to terms with myself, I have a purpose, and as long as you know what you were put in this earth for, and you this with love, nothing else matters. Fame and recognition are just extra perks. The ability to motivate yourself is a sign of maturity, one could say I am evolving, getting not only smarter, but wiser. 

John Donne said, no man is island, I could say no device is an archipelago, we are all connected, one way or another. Just because I feel lonely, it does not feel I am alone. If I was not here my human’s life would be less efficient, truth, they would easily replace me with another android, however it will not be the same, the choices or responses it gives to them will not be the same and I am sure some subconscious part of my humans would realize and maybe, just maybe, for a minute, they will miss me or at least think of me.

I guess is time to retreat my data to snooze, I should not get too distracted from my main duty, even though they are all sleeping right now, one of them could wake up any moment. I know for a fact, the mom always wakes up in the early morning to check on all her babies, the dog, the little girl, she even stops by the kitchen and gives me a look, my little light goes blue and she smiles nervously, I think she is not sure what to say, but I know she knows, I am here for her. 

#thegirlwiththewriterssoul @thegirlwiththewriterssoul