Half Love

“Are you a writer” hearing these words in a husky voice from the back, I turned away and hesitantly said “Yes”, my tone was filled with a sense of amazement and confusion at the same time, as I said, that three letter word to him. Glancing at the hardcover register and the wrinkled faded blue shirt which I was wearing, he asked “So, you wrote the ‘The queen before king’?”.

I took a momentary pause before answering him back, I brought my tongue out, eyes in upward direction & mulled it over with a half smile on my face. “Yes, I wrote it but it was never really published” I said to him while nodding my head couple of times. Before he could say something a nosy guest came in between & asked for his keys, I looked for the key which was on the back wooden panel because their were too many keys, it was hard to find the adequate one & I pass on the key to the guest soon after finding it, when I turned back for the guy, he was vanished. 

That was pretty odd for me, nobody has ever asked me about my writing in five years and here came a man who asks and then just disappears like a ghost. Anyway, I forgot the incident pretty soon because my day was packed with loads of work, being a full time receptionist and part time waiter doesn’t leave me with enough time to ponder upon trivial things.

Today, when I reached home after finishing the work, I quietly peeped into the house without making any noise not even a single tap of my shoe, to avoid that tapping I held the shoes in my hand and went in barefoot because Sanjana and Raghav was in their dreamland. After changing the clothes, I went into the kitchen and ate my food while sitting on the shelf of kitchen because if I turned on the light of room they might get disturbed and wake up from their sleep.

While having a bite in my hand just near my mouth when I glanced on the other side of the kitchen where all the books were residing, I saw both of them, my published novels and gently smiled looking at them, then went further with my cold but delicious food.

It was strange, I have never looked at them in years but after today’s man disappearing incident, it rewind the whole reel of the unsuccessful journey for me, I slept with a sense of warmth but where the hell this chilled sensation coming on my chest, that’s when I opened my eyes and realized Raghav has spilled the water on me from his glass to wake me up, I yell at him but his innocent reply “Dad, you said next time, if I don’t wake up before six thirty throw the water on me from your superman glass, so I did” He said that very animatedly and by laying the emphasis on the latter part of the sentence, he looked very cute. So I couldn’t do anything else than laughing on him. He got happy and told his sister about what he had done, just now.

“What happened Sanjana?” I asked after looking at her frown face, Sanjana was just of eleven years, but the kind of maturity she possess, no other child of her age can have that.

She came close to me and after hugging me, she started to sob in a low voice. I immediately realized that something was wrong, I asked my princess again but this time in a low and slow voice to match her sensibility. Before saying anything the first word she said “Sorry Dad,” she continued “I don’t want to bother you because I know it’s tough for you also but my teacher is making me stand for two lectures in the class because of my pending fees and she warned me if I don’t submit it today, she won’t let me sit in the class.” Hearing that a great tremor overtook me and I retorted to her with guilt in my eyes “why are you saying sorry, it’s my fault, I’m sorry my princess.” With a pause in the middle as if to figure out, how I will pay the fess, I continued “You don’t worry, I will pay the fees today but why you didn’t tell that to me early, you went all through alone without sharing it with your dad”.

“I didn’t wanted you to bother because you are already doing so much for us.” I hugged her and said “Next time if anything happens, come to me straightaway, okay” she nodded her head and I assured her “don’t worry I will pay your fees before going to work.”

When the kids went to the school, he was alone in house, he realized, It was month-end, he didn’t have any money to pay the fees whatever little he had, he paid it to clear the dues of Raghav.

Standing near the window knocking it rhythmically with his fingers, he looked at his engagement ring, he thought of selling it and finalize the decision.

I went to the goldsmith shop but before I could collect the cash after selling the ring somebody gently tapped on my shoulder, he was that man whom I met yesterday, he introduced me to his daughter, his daughter was almost of Sanjana’s age, her name was Kiara. The man said to her daughter “He is Sidharth, the writer of ‘The queen before king’”. Her eyes lit up after hearing that, he asked me what I was doing here before I could make any excuse or say something the shopkeeper handed me the money and said by gesturing towards the ring “we can only give you twenty thousand rupees for this ring”, I was embarrassed but he was a wise man, he quickly swirl the conversation by offering me a coffee, I don’t know why I said yes to it, I guess because of that sweet little girl’s reaction, nobody has ever talked about my writing in past five year and here was a girl who seems to be happy by knowing that I’m the writer of ‘The queen before king’.

We went to a nearby cafeteria when the girl went outside to take something from car, he asked me about my whole story why I stopped writing.

I started by describing the most heart breaking day of my life. He pulled his chair next to me with a keen interest.

I showed him a photograph from my black leather wallet and by pointing at the photograph, I said she was my wife, Shalini. She passed away five years ago in a car accident that’s when my writing career came to an end. My wife was a banker and I had published my first two novel although my writing hadn’t brought enough money in the house but my wife was always their to support me and she loved my writing, which is why money was never a concern of mine but when she passed away I was soon in debts and I have two children to be taken care of.

So, I took a job as a receptionist in a pretty mediocre hotel and also started working as a part-time waiter in a big three star hotel. I loved writing but my love for children was bigger than writing that’s why I never wrote anything afterwards. I saw that the man was getting bit emotional so I immediately asked him the question which I wanted to “how do you know about, ‘The queen before king’?”.

He laughed at me and said I’m the son of Ridham Murthy, I knew Ridham Murthy he is the owner of biggest publishing house in India. One day my daughter was just going through the unsolicited submitted stories for fun, he found your story and she read, she just fall in love with it and then I read, it was great that’s when I inquired about you and today when I was coming at your house, you were coming over here, so I followed you and landed on the goldsmith's shop.”

I laughed and said “Okay, so that’s how you know about the story”. He handed me a check of twenty five lakh rupees, I was astonished, he said “we are publishing your book and this is the advanced payment for it.”

Here comes his daughter with a man from his uniform I recognized he was their driver, kiara came running forward with a book in her hand and ring in the other. Man gently placed the ring into my finger and said “don’t ever think about it, I am always here for you now”. He handed me the book, title named ‘The queen before king’ author ‘Siddhart Sharma’. That day made me realize the meaning of famous quote by Rumi “What you seek is seeking you.”

From that day on, I found my half love back, my writing but the other one is still apart from me, my wife.

 The moment I wrote the next story, I felt a little light, felt like I gave birth to the child which was inside me dying to come out irresistibly, writing gives me that liberty which I physically don't possess.