Let us pray.

I do love a prayer meetin’. Oh my, what a joy to commune in fellowship with other members of the faith; what a true joy. There really is not one thing I prefer over a prayer meetin’. Well, maybe I love the little lemon squares Maria brings each week. I do love those. Maybe I love them a little bit more than prayin’, or maybe they just make the whole thing feel sweeter. Yes, I bet that’s it. I honestly don’t know how she does it; they’re just delectable. So yes, I suppose I love sweets and prayer meetin’s and there is absolutely nothin’ wrong with that. The good Lord Himself gave me my sweet tooth after all.

There’s just so much happenin’ in our congregation these days, what with Brian’s cancer and Olga’s infidelity. I mean, the room is practically abuzz with these two pieces of information alone, and I haven’t even gotten to share my turn just yet.

Oh! Oh my.

Yet another shockin’ revelation from a member of our choir. Hannah is her name, I think, though I don’t pay much attention to the young folk. Too brash, if I’m bein’ honest with you. They just wear on my sensibilities so that I can’t get a good night’s sleep if one of them says their mind. Anyway, there are more important things to discuss.

“Well now, I must interrupt this conversation,” I begin. “I do hesitate to do so, because y’all know how much I just hate to interrupt, but this story is rather wild and this person does need our most urgent prayers. This will sound like the work of fiction, truly, but here it is. You will surely be upset to believe what happened on the meal train this week. Just this past Tuesday, on one of my new deliveries, I saw, with my own eyes, Patricia’s breasts.

“Yes, indeed I did. Just out, in the open, at the front door!

“Yes, Patricia Codwaller! The young lady herself. I have never, and I mean never, been so appalled at a sight. Poor woman, I know she just had her baby last week, and who can say how well a woman’s mind works after she’s had a baby. I can tell you, not well, not from what I’ve heard. And now she’s gone ahead and shown her breasts to the world outside her front door and confirmed my theory. My, my. Lord knows, we must be prayin’ for Patricia.

“Well, I know, that is what I was thinkin’. Of course, you know Ms. Codwaller has been mentioned in prayer circle before. Yes, you are thinkin’ right, this is the very same Ms. Codwaller missin’ the “r” from the middle of her name’s address. We never did sort out who the daddy was did we? Even though we can safely assume that Mr. Gouthier’s absence from church these days could very well be related. Of course, I’m no gossip, but we must be keepin' that baby in our utmost prayers. What a beginnin’! Now, I must tell you, I did hear somethin’ rather un-tuneful from the house as I was standin’ there, which if I’m honest, and of course you know I’ve got to be honest, quite disturbed me. She had one of them devil boxes raging to the highest volume, I think it was comin’ from her livin’ room!

“Yes, with the baby present! Lord, from this child’s birth, it’s already bein’ subjected to the songs of the devil himself. To say I was shocked, is quite an understatement, truly. I could hardly stand it, honestly. And you know that young lady had the nerve to try and have a conversation? How am I supposed to have a conversation with the devil's trash playing behind you, and your breasts not less than twenty-four inches from my face?

“Would you believe, I forgot to mention, oh my how could I forget this part. She was usin’ one of them milk-suckin’ contraptions at the time, and yes it was in full operation as I stood there on her porch.

“What do you mean, milk contraption? Have you no sense? It was a pump. A milk pump. A milk pump for breast milk. You put it on your breasts to get the milk out. Now I do swear, I am not soon to forget the sound that little machine was makin’ as I stood there. It was all I could do, and I know this sounds impolite, but it truly was all I could do not to stare at such an abomination.

“No, the look on her face was calm. It was as if she had no idea the thing was still strapped to her body. There she stood, plain as day, shirt open in the breeze, facin’ fully forward toward the street! I swear anyone walkin’ by would have seen it, and maybe, if they’d been quiet enough, they would have heard the milk being sucked right out of her nipples.

“Oh, I do apologize for my grotesque language. Women’s body parts truly should not be named in public, I understand that. Especially in such a delicate, holy space as this one. My apologies for any offence I have caused in tellin’ this story to y’all. I am just so concerned for that baby, and I do believe details are important when it comes to talkin’ to our Lord. Surely, the urgency I felt all this week must be passed on. I can not bear this weight on my own.

“Why yes, of course I left the food there for her. She’s got a little table set there, just outside the door. I could not bear to make physical contact with such a moment in time, and so I did leave the food on the table. We must remember to thank Helen for her contributions to the meal train this week, she really is a soldier for the Lord. Anyway, I admit, I did hasten my visit with Ms. Codwaller.

“Oh, I made some excuse about needin’ to come to prayer meetin’ with y’all.

“No, of course she doesn’t know what day we have our meetin’s! Oh my, you make me laugh. That girl is a bit of a heathen, and her soul is in need our most dedicated prayers.

“Why, I’ve said too much. Let us pray.”