Randomly Shallow

Don't move. Smile...cheeeesse. Dreadful thing:photographs. At first they forced us to be frozen fools for twenty minutes.Twenty,ridiculous. Now the geniuses are stuffing fake smiles down our throats. We are so miserable,we got to, I can't believe this...say cheese. That fricken dairy product to coaxe a believable grin out of our regular plastered down facades for five seconds. Five,horrendous. Now I've been blessed with a life during the period of selfies,tripods and the abuse of the peace sign. I'm living alongside pests that breathe,ear and overshare online. Privacy, huh, that's a luxury and ignorance is a rapidly sold drug today(I heard it gives some bliss). So no I will not take your picture, if you will excuse me...

Lee September was not the optimistic type, he loved few things and cherished even less,but he was our only option. So do not judge us for what transpired, blame our cruel world for giving us that son of a...

Sir please can you take our picture,we did not mean to disturb you from your midlife crisis. Also, we did not want a whole sermon, pastor boy. Just take it.

I said excuse me one,I do not like repeating myself and my guy we are the same age. I'll take your picture if you pinky promise to sow that hole that keeps moving back at me.

That's it. Lee September come with us. We'll explain everything when we get to the others. I knew he wasn't gonna take the picture,Candice.You never listen.

Thomas just take him we have no time for this.

HEY! YOU! Candice is it?! You think you and uh Tom are gonna...

It's Thomas,this f$#%ing guy.

Take me without a fight? I don't know what you want but we're in public so your threats are dismal. Now let me pass unlike you guys I got something to do today besides lose brain cells.

Lee September, that particular pain my holy hole, was stubborn at first,so we had to use force. Of course.

Jy! Vat jou hande af van my!NOU!

Sorry Mr September for the inconvenience,oh and english please.

YOU BLOODY!!!

That's better now go to sleep. Shhhhh shhhhhhh. See Candice I told you we would have to drug him,he's impossible to deal with it.

Yeah okay Thomas just put him in the van before someone notices he isn't just a past out fool.

Okay Candice calm down, everything will be okay.

Ughh I hate it when you comfort me.

What I...

Just get in the car, gees.

Hit the gas Thomas I got him tied in the back he won't move.

Don't gotta worry about that he inhaled enough of the drug to stay under for a while.

Okay so Candice how are we gonna tell him quickly without him thinking we insane.

I don't know Thomas, I really don't. I'm scared.

Come sit upfront next to me then.

Okay.

Give me your hand, okay Candy we know what we have to do, we know the mission. I know you, and you are strong enough to brave through this. We don't have time for doubt and we sure don't have time for fear,so squeeze on my hand when you feel just a little less brave than you were a minute ago.But stay brave.

Ughh I forgot how good you are at this stuff, thanks Thomas. P.S I will squeeze your hand off hahaha.

When we arrived at our hide out Lee was beginning to wake and so was the time to reveal the plan. It was not easy telling him for sure. That bloody sceptic bastard.

Thomas I think he's waking up back there I can here his groans.

Okay we are almost at the hideout.

Stop the car Thomas.

What? No,Why?!

Pull over the car here, we should tell him first.

No we got to do this now, trust me.

Really, Candy don't look at me like that, stop pouting. Alright,alright I'm pulling over.

Open the back Thomas.

Yes Ma'am,No Ma'am, Yes your highness...

Huh did you say something up there Thomas?!

No!No just getting ready.

Hurry up, he's eyes are opening.

Yeah I'm coming,just wait God.

Hello sleepy head.

Huh Wh...Whe...Wha...Where am I?

In the back of our van, don't freak out.Dont! Calm down! Stop!

Ouch! Why did you hit my arm?

Sorry about that,I just needed you to calm down and stop screaming. We have something important to tell you. Are you ready?

F@$k you!

Alright, here we go. I'm Thomas and this is Candice we come from the near future. This is not some back to the future crap, this is real. Me and Candice among others have been tasked with the mission to save a picture. A picture you will take in approximately ummm 2 hours. This photo affects economies, social structures and can create wars. We need to keep you safe so you can take the picture and live to tell its story. If you don't:in 12 years and 4months from now every economy will collapse,the people will be in disarray globally and hunger will be on a all time high.

You must be insane,how can one photo change all that.

That's what I thought but your photo really does.

Why would I ever take that photo?

I honestly don't know. After meeting you I think this has all been a mistake.

Thomas stop! It's him,Mr September I know this is alot to take in but I need you to be brave now.

Lady what the actually hell, im not some child that will believe in your Magic beans story.

Okay sir, you don't have to believe you just gotta take a picture.

We wasted an hour trying to convince him that we were not lunatics. We took him inside the hideout,showed him the evidence of our real time period. He eventually came around,reluctantly. This guy just said after all that...

Let's get this sh#% done.

So you belive Thomas and I?

F#%k no. But I do believe if I do this you'll leave me alone,so let's go "save" the world Bonnie and Clyde.

What followed was not some crazy fight scene or a marvelous photo that made Monet rise, no. He just stood in a park and took a random picture of something he found strange. Strange enough to change the earth we have inherited. After the mission was done, we went down to this Cafe. Best coffee I ever,ever had uhhh what's the name of it. I can't for the life of me...

Fat Harry's is the best Cafe Thomas I promise you that.

How do you know Candice? If I may ask.

It's obvious with a name like that it must be good. Want a coffee Lee?

Mmmm You are paying.

You are such a prick, do you know that?

Stop it Tom, I'm blushing.

Uhhhh it's Thomas really.

It all went swell up until the point me and Lee had a fist fight after he tried to kiss Candice for paying the bill,the prick. Anyways Candice and I went back to our time 3009. We first dropped off Lee Semptember somewhere in Namibia. He needed to lay low for a couple of years and that's the only way he would not get killed.

He was a delightful asshole and I respect him greatly. He saved the world. Who knew a Old South African bloke from 2024 could save the universe with one photo and his words after. That's the story of a regular,random prick who took an even regular, random pic that saved all our uuuuhhhh Candy! What rhymes with pic?!