Becoming

I felt nothing. I could see nothing, hear nothing. Then suddenly I could. Breath invaded my lungs as my eyes were forced open to see the vibrant colors of the afternoon. 

I didn’t know where I was or how I got here. I was in an old wooden cabin that smelled of linen and pine. Out the window lay a forest on one side of the house and on the other was a small village. The house was vacant, then I heard voices coming from outside. I went to go investigate, I reached for the door handle but I couldn’t I could feel it but it seemed as though I didn’t exist. My hand went through it. I gasped in shock, looking curiously at my hand. I tried my other hand, same result. Thinking I was crazy I led both of my hands through the door, walking slowly my body melded through the dark wood. I opened my eyes to see that I was on the other side. Confused I walked to a small gathering of people. 

“Excuse me, could you tell me where I am?” No one responded, no one even looked up. 

“Hello?” I asked, waving my hand in front of a taller woman’s face. Again, no one responded, she didn’t so much as blink. I looked in the direction they were staring.

 There was a cascate. It was beautifully engraved, made of birch wood. The carvings represented birds and flowers that seemed like it was themed around the concept of new life, even though it held the opposite. Dirt was thrown over the cascate as it was buried, the people gathered around it sobbed, shuddering in the cold wind on this damp foggy night. 

When the gravediggers stepped away I could see the tombstone. Anna Coswoth, the name sounded familiar. There was wording underneath it that read “Anna, our hero, our inspiration and our love. Rest in peace. 1653-1669” I watched as people brought up flowers and other things and set them by the tombstone. Within an hour or so the group started to depart, all passing their regards onto a family, I assumed, A woman with dark blonde hair and green eyes, a man with black hair and blue eyes and a small girl that looked like their daughter, with green eyes and black hair. When the crowd of red eyed and weeping townsfolk had disappeared into the fog,  the three remained. They were obviously close to the person who was gone, they were probably her family.

 “I’m so sorry.” I said to the girl, outstretching my hand to put on her shoulder to show her comfort but it went right through her. The two adults went back to the house, the little girl lingered a bit longer. “I miss you Anna.” she said putting up a photograph of an older girl that looked much like her. She sunk to her knees and balled. I wished with all my heart that I could comfort her but I knew I couldn’t. The picture showed her and the older girl, about the age of sixteen. The teenager had black hair and blue eyes. That was me, I realized. The girl sobbing before me was my sister. My parents. I remembered how I couldn’t touch things and how people didn’t notice I was there. I looked closer at the writing on the tombstone. Cause of death: hypothermia. I had died. I was dead. A shadow of a former life I had become. “I love you Sarah.”