In Another Love Life

He lay on the rustic wood floor with his head in her lap. Her hands seemed to work magic as she massaged his head and his greatest fears and doubts flowed freely off his tongue for the first time in his life. 

They had known each other for less than a month but their connection was undeniable. Spending the summer as camp counselors can do that to people, but this was something different. 

She had worked at summer camps for several summers in a row. West coast based, this was her first time venturing out to the east coast on her own and suddenly she found herself exploring a completely new territory in more ways than one. 

A small-town girl recovering from heartbreak, she ran as far from her troubles as possible while still in the country and within her campy comfort zone. Little did she know she would fall in love not once but three times in just one summer. 

And only one of those would be with herself. 

She gazed down at the beautiful man she held in her lap. They were not in a relationship and never would be in this lifetime. But their connection was undeniable. Sadly for her other camp romance who chose that particular moment to come to check in on her. 

It must have stung to walk into the dark, sleepy cabin to find her girlfriend sitting on the floor having a moment more intimate than anything they’d experienced together. 

So perfectly aligned in that moment, her usual people-pleasing ways escaped her and she looked up at her with a calm smile, but did not rise to greet her. 

She belonged here, on the floor, grounded with this kindred spirit, whispering the truth into the void, perfectly held by one another.

There was so much more than sparks flying between them. The outsider watched, mesmerized by the way the two of them melted together, their movements so soft around the edges, the way they looked at each other so connected, so intense, it was as if no one else was in the room. 

And so she left them to it, closing the cabin door behind her and giving them their time. It seemed like the only answer when faced with such clear soulmates. 

Everything crackled with life when the two of them were in a space together. Other people could feel the energy sparkling, and their love made for a surreal summer of pure bliss. 

All without ever sharing so much as a kiss. 

The summer was over before they knew it. They sat together on the bus headed back to the city, their last day together. The heaviness in her heart grew with every mile and he held her as she cried, both knowing their story was coming to an end but unable to comprehend going back to life without each other. 

They promised to keep in touch. They made silly vows to marry if they were both still single by 30. They laughed about their different lifestyles as if it wasn’t the elephant in the room holding them back from happiness. 

He picked her up in his big bear arms to hug her goodbye. Tears streamed down her face as she watched him fade into the distance from the back window of the cab. He stood there stoic and unmoving until long after the car disappeared from view. 

They each left a piece of their hearts on the streets of Harlem that day, never to reclaim it, always left to wonder “what if.”

***************

“Damn it!” He bangs his fist on the armrest of his chair. Being able to watch future versions of yourself was certainly entertaining, but it could also be infuriating when you just wanted yourself to get it right already. 

How many times would he have to watch himself walk away from his one true love? How many times would he continue to deny his heart? 

A warm hand covers his fist and he instantly relaxes. She has always had that effect on him, no matter in which life they meet. 

“It will happen in its time,” she soothes.

“Maybe in another life,” he huffed, holding her hand tightly and changing the channel on the screen to start again. 

***************

They found themselves back at the corner of heartbreak and passion, the heat from the summer sidewalk adding to the intensity of the decision before them. 

Except this time, she didn’t get in the cab. She couldn’t wrench herself away from this man, their connection was so strong it almost felt like deja vu. 

“What if I just stayed?” she mumbled into his chest. “What if I didn’t go back?” 

He took her by the shoulders and looked into her blue eyes, electric with emotion. 

“There’s a reason I’m waiting for your cab with you,” he said, seriously. “Harlem isn’t for you. We’ll figure it out, but it’s not now.” 

Her heart splintered further but she knew he was right. She had school to finish and a life to wrap up out west, but she would be back. Manhattan had called to her since she was young; now she knew why. 

Once again, he picked her up in his big bear arms to hug her goodbye. Tears streamed. He stood there stoic and unmoving. 

Pieces of their hearts and discarded “what ifs” littered the streets in their wake. 

***************

“I don’t know how much more of this I can take,” he groans into his hands with frustration. “How many potential timelines did we fail before we pulled our shit together?”

“I don’t know, but isn’t it a little fun to see how many times we crossed paths?”

“It would be fun if it didn’t wrench my heart out of my chest every time.”

She laughs. “I know, but we do get it right eventually. Let’s try again.”

He pushes play on the next channel with a sigh, bracing himself for more heartbreak.

Together, they watch as two people sit down across from each other on the subway and lock eyes…

***************

“You’re back,” he breathed, shocked by the girl sitting across from him. She was the same but somehow different from the girl he fell in love with all those years ago at summer camp. 

“And you’re here,” she returned, equally shocked by the coincidence. Manhattan was an awfully large city to stumble into the one that got away while on the way to a job interview.

There was nothing left to do but stand and embrace, two soulmates reconnecting on a moving train. Strangers watched unabashedly drawn in by the significance of this reunion. 

Were they attached to other people? Did they live anywhere near one another? Was this another chance meeting or was this where everything changed and they finally got it right? 

Nothing else mattered at that moment. They held each other and swayed with the movement of the train. All was aligned and right with the world again, simply because they were in the same place at the same time.

They have loved each other for longer than they realize. Feeling the absence of the past ten years was a drop in the bucket compared to the emptiness of knowing they once had the greatest love they would have in this lifetime. 

The doors slid open. They were at her stop. A second chance at hello, a second chance for goodbye. 

But not this time. He would never let her go a second time… that he knew of.

He took her hand and they stepped out into the world together, as it was meant to be, in this lifetime. 

***************

“It’s about damn time,” he snips but smiles over to the other armchair at her. 

She smiles back comfortingly and asks the most important question:

“But now what will we watch?”