For the Gram

The sound of bacon hitting the frying pan woke me out of my deep sleep, within moments the greasy goodness wafted through the air and into my nostrils. Sniffing the air, I followed the scent to the kitchen where she was cooking. I walked a bit slower these days even though I was only five years old. “ Lisa had rescued me from a shelter where my last owner had dropped me off. Something about a bunch of new kittens coming along and she couldn’t care for me anymore. I didn’t understand why I had to be the one to go; the crying, noisy kittens that couldn’t even feed themselves should be the ones to go! I thought, but at least I ended up with Lisa. She took care of me and fed me well. I saw her standing at the stove, frying our breakfast and I rubbed up against her legs. I was grateful she fed me such delicious food. She set my large portion of bacon in my bowl, where I barely let it cool before I gobbled it up. I let out a “meow” this usually got me more food. She gave me some of the food from the can. This wasn’t as good, but it would do. I guess she was in a hurry for work. Even as I could feel my belly stretching, I continued to eat. Sometimes, I ate too much and would throw up, but I always tried hard not to, because Lisa would yell. Especially the time I threw up on her shoes, boy was she mad! It was an accident though and she forgave me.

              After Lisa kissed me goodbye, I struggled to climb to the windowsill. I used to sit in the beautiful clerestory windows high on the wall, back when I was graceful enough to use each piece of furniture as a launching pad. Now, I would just sit in the low bay windows. It made me too tired to try to climb any higher. Sometimes when I tried too hard, I felt a funny pain in my chest.  I stopped trying after that. Another thing, my joints ached something awful, so even if I did manage to get up high in the windowsill, jumping down caused me excruciating pain. My joints hurt all the time now, I could barely remember being a healthy, nimble kitty that could always land on his feet. I wasn’t sure how I got so “chonky” as my owner called me. Surely, she knew what was best for me. She insisted I was much cuter now. She even made an internet page for me. I was kind of like a celebrity. Lisa said it would help us afford more treats, which, of course, I thought was a great idea. But sometimes, she would take pictures and film me late into the night when I was so tired and just wanted to sleep. She would laugh at me, being unable to keep my eyes open long enough for an entire photoshoot. She called me her fat, lazy kitty.

              Out of the window, I saw Bella, the black cat next door. She was healthy, sleek and beautiful. She kept her black coat groomed without a hair out of place and it shone beautifully in the early morning sun.  I watched as she excitedly chattered at birds, stalked squirrels and pounced at bugs. She was so graceful, my heart skipped a beat. I wondered what it would be like to wrestle with her, to play with her and become her companion. She must have heard me pawing stupidly at the window, she looked in my direction, ears cocked. I quickly jumped down from the ledge, embarrassed at being caught a voyeur. Pain reverberated through my body on the landing, and breathlessly I made it over to my bed where I slept for the rest of the day, exhausted by the morning activities. As I drifted off to sleep, I promised I wouldn’t eat so much, then maybe one day soon, my dream of playing with Bella could be a reality.

              My first dinner of the evening was one of my favorites, hot dogs! The greasy, chewy goodness always helped lift my spirits and straightaway at the sound of them hitting my bowl, I forgot the promise I’d made earlier that day. I gobbled down two of them and began to rub at Lisa’s leg to get her to give me more.

              “Hold on, Bert” she said. “We have to make some new content first. Then I’ll give you a treat!”

All I heard was the word “treat” and I followed her to her bedroom, my prominent primordial pouch swinging from side to side. Lisa lifted me on top of her dresser, a place I hadn’t been since I was much smaller. I didn’t like heights anymore, they scared me since I was unable to get down from them without getting hurt. I didn’t like where this was going. Lisa sat down on the bed, coaxing me over to her. It was quite a leap, judging the distance, I didn’t think I would make it. I froze in terror, unable to move. Lisa, now becoming impatient patted the bed “Come on Bert! You can do it.” In her other hand, she had her phone out, ready to record every moment of my antics. “I know what you need” she said. She disappeared and came back a moment later, holding another hot dog between her thumb and finger. She wiggled it like some perverse, forbidden toy. The smell of it was intoxicating to me. I could taste the crispiness of the outside, the way she fried them in the pain, the soft pork inside. The grease dripping down onto my coat and then I would lick it off for hours after. Maybe I could make the jump! I put my weight on my back legs, wiggled a bit. Lisa had her phone recording, I knew, I could see the little light on. She was holding the hot dog like it was a trophy. As soon as my feet left the dresser, I knew I could never clear the leap. I was much too heavy and no longer graceful. I landed just short of the bed, I clawed and held on with all my might, but I couldn’t pull myself up. Terrified, I fell to the floor and a jolt of pain shot through me. Lisa was laughing, “This one is for the Gram! They are going to LOVE this”.  She tossed the hot dog in my direction, and I gobbled it up. Humiliated, I retreated under the bed to the sound of her laughter. What good did it do me to have the fastest reflexes in the animal kingdom? All I was good for was eating and making a fool of myself.

              When I woke up, it was time for my second dinner. This time, I got TWO cans in one meal. She must really be pleased with me! “Our video already got a thousand views! We are gonna go viral!” She squealed. “Guess, I just gotta keep feeding you huh?” She rubbed my head. “People think chonky cats are sooo cute!”