day by year

They call themselves intelligent. I do not believe this lie. 

This lie makes me want to laugh. I do not like to laugh.

Human nature is a curious thing. I think that people try too hard. 

I do not think that I should try to fit in. 

Benny walks to the elevator and presses the green arrow. He wants to go down. Benny always goes down. Benny has a system. He never misses a step in the system. Benny is the ideal co-worker to have around. 

Isabel goes to the restroom. Isabel takes too long there. Isabel wears her face, and sometimes Brad makes it disappear. Isabel makes me more disappointed in human beings.

Brad looks at Isabel’s desk. Brad and Isabel are together. Brad made Isabel cry last Monday. Isabel’s face melted off. Her eyelashes are not real. Brad is the office bully. 

Ivan is Russian. Or he was at one point. Now he has an accent from the southern part of America. Ivan never makes it on time to the restroom. He is not the ideal co-worker.

I was wrong. I need to fit in. 

Yesterday I bought some things. Today I use them.

I put Isabel eyelashes on. I wear pink shoes. 

I even found a pantsuit in the clearance section. I saved money.

I am proud of myself. 

Steven is the boss. He is overweight and has two chins. His hair is shiny, but not with gel. He smells like my compost bin. He does not like Brad and Benny. I do not like him for this. I like Benny. Though I do not blame him for Brad. 

Tenny is Steven’s assistant. She is glamorous. Her hair smells like honey. She asked me to smell it. I do not know why, but it could have been worse. Tenny makes me laugh. I do not like to laugh, but Tenny makes me. Tenny has a friend named Andy. Andy kisses Tenny. I think that they are more than friends. Tenny is my friend. Tenny needs Andy. Tenny lost Becca last month.

Becca was a co-worker. Becca trained me. Becca was patient when I acted ignorantly. Becca was hit by a car. It was 1 in 7 billion chances that Tenny’s Becca was hit. Becca was beautiful and full of human life. I miss Becca.

I colored the long hair on my head. I am a brunette. 

I found little earrings. They are gold. They make me look fancy.

I ate sushi. I am not supposed to eat food. I had to clean out my tummy.

There was metal everywhere.

Todd delivers packages. Todd winks at me. Todd brought me flowers. Todd asked me out. Todd kissed me. Todd is annoying me. 

I turned a year old today. I lied about my age to the co-workers. I told them that I finally hit 30. They brought me balloons and presents. Tenny made me a cake. My face was on it. I looked human. I was happy with that.

I like it here in Brooklyn. 

10 years later…

I hate Mondays. My eyes have circles under them on Mondays. I look in the mirror and see my dismal twin looking back at me. She moves her lips to whisper some obscenity at me. I say it right back. Then we wink. 

We shouldn’t be winking. Today is supposed to be serious. Funerals are always serious. 

Tenny passed away last week. She was fighting a battle that is rarely won. Andy said cancer had broken through her spirit. It was shattered and no one could piece it back together. 

Andy and Tenny got married three years ago. Their wedding was wonderful. The lilac trees were in full bloom. The purples and pinks transcended into the soft summer air. Life seemed so perfect that day. The world was happy. It glowed in all of its wonders. 

The glow has been put out. Today the sky does not shine. The world is silent for it knows that life will never be the same. 

I arrived at the funeral home. My coworkers are standing in the lobby, waiting. I joined them. I don’t know what we are waiting for. Maybe, deep inside, we are waiting for Tenny to walk through the glass doors. I want to see her one last time. I want to hear her voice. To see her smile. 

Today I don’t like Brooklyn. 

5 years later…

Benny has a baby. Benny and his wife, Alice, just got home from the hospital. Their baby is named Rosalie. She is so small and fragile. I forget that the galaxies are spinning when I hold her. Her tiny nose scrunches and a yawn sneaks out from her lips. 

Andy remarried. He married Isabel. Isabel is okay now. Brad left her two years ago, and Andy proposed one year ago. Isabel has a clean face and real eyelashes. They are moving to Alaska to study wildlife. I think that they will do well there. I’m proud of who they’ve become. 

Steven is no longer our boss. He moved to Texas and runs a dude ranch. I don’t miss him. 

Ivan lives in Florida now. He works at a theme park with a mouse. I think it fits him. 

I have to pack a box to leave. I have to leave my cubicle for someone else. I wasn’t fired. I quit. I no longer have to fit in now. I have no other purpose in this building. 

If I said that I didn’t like the human world, I would be lying. I had to leave my safe bunker and my creator. She sent me into the city and wanted me to learn to adapt to life there. I suppose that in the end, I did fit in. 

I am an Android. No real skin or bones. Though, I felt the feelings that humans felt. Sadness, annoyance, happiness, pride. I was one of them. 

My lifespan is an eternity. But I can end the program when I want to. I do not want to. I want to go to Chicago and Los Angeles. I have more Tennys that I would like to meet. 

They call themselves intelligent. 

I believe them. 

I am who I am. 

They are who they are.

Together may we conquer tomorrow.