An Incidental Merger

                 [An Incidental Merger]

Adam and Ashley were in love, real love, not an overnight affair. They were young, with unleashed passion and ready to experience the joy poets sing about. Fear rippled through them again and again, almost extinguishing their desire to experience that intoxicating feeling only the bodily appetite can deliver. 

Ashley is thrilled as her body is awakened, but panic grips her at the same time. What will happen to her, after it’s over? She wants her lover to be strong and persistent, yet when he is, a feeling of guilt wells up in her. Can she trust him? Does he mean what he says? “Tell me you love me, love me!” she pleads.

And after this first exultation, this first passion, Ashley feels she belongs exclusively to this one man for the rest of her life. She clings to Adam, the first man to know her so intimately. Ashley is sixteen years old, immature, and naïve.

Adam is nineteen and sitting on the couch in Ashley’s living room while her parents are out to a dinner and movie. But Adam relies on his amateurish eloquence to convince Ashley that he would never hurt her; that he will stop whenever she wants him to. “Just one kiss, a small little kiss will harm you, will it?” Ashley admits it can’t, and so opens the way for just a little kiss. Ashley allows the kiss but Adam will not stop there – – he knew that beforehand, and she really hoped he wouldn’t stop either, but to get to this point was not easy for Adam to accomplish.

Just moments earlier, Ashley was saying,” let me alone! Let’s talk first. Again, do you really love me? Honest, do you?

Adam at this stage is excited and her questions are immaterial. He doesn’t like his lovemaking to be interrupted,” Don’t talk now.” Adam insists. 

Ashley remains persistent,” You have to tell me. Do you love me?”

Adam,” Okay, I love you. Are you satisfied now?”

Ashley.” How much? “

“Now don’t start that again! Don’t be silly.”

“I’m not being silly, say it. How much do you love me?”

“More than anything, Okay?” snaps Adam.

“That’s no answer--- you don’t want to tell me because you don’t really love me.”

Adam is befuddled a little." Your folks will be home in no time. Don't waste any more time talking."

After a few more seconds or so of delays, Ashley is at last convinced that she now can be sure of Adam’s love. At this moment and with an upsurge of ecstasy, she clings to her young sweetheart.

The deed is done and Adam begins almost immediately to display impatience, ready to leave, but Ashley wants him to stay. She wants him to meet her parents, but Adam has no interest in that idea and claims he must go. He’s sorry of course, but he cannot stay one moment longer. He must attend to a very important affair that cannot wait.

Ashley cries, she begs. Nothing can move him, and he leaves. She has now made her first fundamental mistake concerning men. She is beginning to understand that to Adam this occasion wasn’t that important. (a whispered statement he made as he was walking out the door).  Unlike Ashley, Adam has experienced this same sensation many times before. He also knows he must be careful with these silly young creatures. They think if they let you make a little love to them, you belong to them for the rest of your life.

                                                      #

Five years have passed and Ashley has not heard from Adam since that rude awakening on her parents living room couch. Ashley has thought many times that if she could eliminate painful experiences in her life, she would be happy. But she has also learned that disappointment, painful or not, is a necessary evil. The main thing Ashley has learned is that love is the gravitational force in orbit with life. Love is a physical and mental attraction, plus emotional security. These are pretty deep thoughts for a young girl of twenty-one. Ashley at that ripe old age believes her likes and dislikes, have been more or less formed.

                                                         #

In a small town about 80 miles east, Adam is tending his two small children. It is Saturday afternoon and his wife is out working her second job. Adam has been married for a little over three years and is currently jobless, that is if you don’t count babysitting.

They thought that they were so much in love they had to marry to cool off. But this “cooling off” had come to pass quite a bit earlier than they had originally envisioned. The young wife has become disgusted having to debate with Adam about his lack of any ambition. But soon after his wife arrives home the bitching and complaining begins again from both of them. That same night, however, their differences would be overcome by their physical desire for each other. The only problem is lust, and ignorance is greatly responsible for people falling out of love.

Lust erupts like a volcano and dies out as quickly as it came. But when ignorance masquerades under the guise of love, it will erupt almost immediately and will be followed by recriminations, regret, and bitterness. Their marriage is heading toward a no-win stalemate for both of these lovers, but they can’t visualize its advance.

                                 #

Another month has passed and on this Saturday. Ashley’s best friend is getting married. She had been asked to be the maid of honor but had begged off because she didn't think she would be able to handle the pressure. Her best friend understood, remembering the events of five years ago.

“One of these days I feel like I might cut my own throat.” Ashley had told her best friend one day. But she suddenly grew silent and then stopped abruptly, as her eyes were ablaze with anger. After a moment she turned toward her friend with her lips pouting prettily and glanced over her shoulder," please be nice to me!" Ashley said as if she was attempting to summon her own courage. This exchange bothered her best friend who was confused by her antics and from that day began to worry for her safety.

On that day five years ago, not only had Adam walked out on Ashley, but she was to learn later, that she was pregnant. She became ashamed of herself and made a decision to abort the baby. A conclusion she would hate herself for-- still today.

                                    #

Adam is running late. He knew something like this would happen, questioning himself when he accepted the honor of best man. He had left home without his watch, his old car clock did not work, nor did the car radio. He had an idea of what time it was but wondered if they would hold the starting time if he was not there. He hoped not, because he did not want to be the center of attention at his friend’s wedding. Adam began to think if he should keep going or just stop and not attend at all.

Adam knew he shouldn’t have had that second beer before leaving the bar. Now he began to worry,” What if I get pulled for speeding?” Not just a ticket but probably jail also for driving while under the influence. Adam began to sweat a lot. Not only would he probably arrive late, but smelly, and with wrinkled clothes from the perspiration.

Adam pulled into the church parking lot and could not help seeing his friend there in front of the church, frustrated and pacing. He parked, jumped from his car and ran to his friend.” Where have you been?” The groom sneered.

“Okay, I know I’m late, but did I make it in time?”

“Yeah, we got about five minutes. What the hell, have you been drinking? Let’s just get in the church, and we’ll talk about this crap later.”

As had become normal over the previous two to three years, Ashley was drawing the attention of all the men at her friend's wedding. She is a good-looking young woman, a platinum blonde who wears tight-fitting, low-cut dresses. Some would say real whistle bait. Most people try to exhibit their greatest attribute, but for Ashley, it is her feminine adornment. She is proud of what she has to show. Apparently, she is much in demand, judging from the remarks heard about her around the wedding party. Her face is a masterpiece of craftsmanship-- perfect artwork now, on a soulless manikin. Ashley has become an exhibitionist. 

Ashley may look like a call girl, but she is not. Why then does she dress and walk as she does, exhibiting herself to men, inspiring their lust and, at the same time, the hatred of her own sex?

After her abortion, she tried to commit suicide, but without success. Not long after she agreed to marry the boy next door who had admired her for years. His name is Norman and she hated Norman even more than Adam, who caused her pregnancy and then disappeared. Norman was actually a good man – – a book-keeper. His only sin was marrying Ashley on the rebound. Any decent girl would have been happy to have him. But Ashley was neither decent nor rational any more. They were divorced after less than a year of marriage.

The wedding was set to begin as Adam and the groom walked out from a small room to join the minister. The organ began to play the wedding march, triggering the bride’s cadenced steps down the aisle to join her husband to be. All eyes were on the bride except for Ashley. Her attention was fixed on the best man who she recognized immediately as being the bastard who took advantage of her. Ashley displayed a calm demeanor on the outside while boiling on the inside. Adam, in turn, noticed Ashley only because of her beauty, not recognizing her as one of his early conquests.

The only and last occasion, Adam had spent any time around Ashley, she was sixteen, a brunette, a few pimples on her face and a little pudgy around the midsection. Nothing he would want to write home about.

After Ashley’s marriage to Norman had failed, she decided that she would never, ever again let her-self be under the control of any man. So for the next year, she spent her time changing her appearance (nose job), working on her body – working on her attitude – working on her feminism – changing her hair color- and making herself sexually desirable to men. But, not giving herself to just anybody and everybody. She was now in control and that is the way she was going to keep it.

At the reception, Adam could not keep his eyes off of Ashley only because she was now a raving beauty with a killer body. And Adam had no problem approaching this type of young lady. He kept working his way toward Ashley, hoping to start a casual conversation that would lead to something more intimate. He wasn’t concerned about cheating on his wife, Hell- he’d done that many times. This was just another day at the races for him.

Ashley had calmed down and gathered herself. Noticing that Adam kept looking her way, but trying not to let it be obvious. She decided not to approach him, but if he came to her, she would share in some informal dialogue. Ashley was convinced that Adam had no idea who she was.

Adam walked to Ashley’s table and sat down beside her.” Hey there, I’m Adam and something tells me that we have met before.”

Ashley counters,” You think so, do you?”

“Yeah, maybe, what’s your name?”

“Now, if I tell you my name that could begin a long conversation and I’m not sure if I want to spend that much time with you.”

Adam queries,” Are you like this with all the guys that approach you?”

“No-but I got fooled one time—and believe me—once was enough.”

“Okay – I hear that, but do you have a steady boyfriend?”

“No, I don’t, Ashley lamented, but I don’t really need or want one either.”

“But you still haven’t told me your name. Are you ashamed of it?”

“Now why would I be ashamed of my name? If I was, I would have already changed it or I could give you any name and you wouldn’t know the difference.”

“Okay,” Adam retorted,” If you’re not going to tell me even a little about you, I might as well give you the rundown on me. Be prepared to be impressed.”

While Adam brags and lies about himself, Ashley pretends to be listening, but in reality, her mind is being filled with opposing thoughts.” How in the world could I ever have fallen for such a jerk? Only God knows how much I enjoyed hating this creep" Stop – Stop,” Ashley breaking Adam’s thought pattern. “If I told you that my name is Ashley, what would it mean to you?”

 “I’m not really sure, let me think about it for a bit, now you're not fooling with me are you, your name really is Ashley?”

“You heard me correctly,” Ashley claims.

“Okay then, Ashley – Ashley – Ashley – nothing seems to be coming to mine right now. Oh-okay – there was this girl, five, or six years ago – no, that can’t be it – can it?”

Ashley chuckles and then stands up to walk away. But before leaving she gets right up in Adam’s face, and with almost a whisper, says,” I’ve hated your guts for over five years and had planned on hurting you the next time if I ever I saw you again. But I have come to realize that you’re more pathetic today than you were then. At least I have grown up a little. You, Adam, have gone backward. I never thought I would say something like this, but I actually feel sorry for you. I’m going to be leaving now because you’re just not that important to me. So goodbye, wise up, and go home to your family.” 

As Ashley walked to the door she could hear Adam swearing at her and claiming that she didn’t know what the hell she was talking about and better still what she was missing. With her back still to Adam, she lifted her right arm exposing her middle finger, displaying that universal sign we all know so well.

After Ashley got into her car, she sat there for a minute or two, thinking how good  she felt, believing she had just experienced the best and most satisfying day of her young life." I think that I'm going to treat myself to a really nice steak dinner," Ashley thought to herself as she pulled out from the parking lot.

                                                       THE END