Me Love!

As I sat on the dining table early in the morning revising for the Geography test we had today and having my breakfast, at the same time. I felt really nervous, what if it was an oral test instead of a written test, I don't think I would be able to answer. However, I had to overcome all of these feelings since it was eight and I had to leave for school right now, not to mention that I was surely going to be late. I arrived at school exactly at eight-fifteen, just on time.. like always. When I entered the classroom I saw that all of my peers were really happy and they were shouting “No Test, No Test, No test” I was really confused to why my friends were shouting like this, but then at that exact moment I felt so relieved because I didn’t have to give the Geography test. Then our Math teacher walked into our classroom saying that instead of Geography we now had Math, at first I felt annoyed and sad because we didn’t have a free period anymore and I wanted to paint, and now I couldn't. Then I felt relieved because I knew that in Math we only had to solve sums. For the first fifteen minutes we solved sums which were really easy and fun to solve however the rest of the thirty minutes of the class was going to be an oral mental-math activity. When our Math teacher explained the activity to us I got really scared, my hands felt numb, my heart was beating really fast, I was stressed. My bad luck that day was that my Math teacher first asked me, she told me what the question was, I was scared even though I knew what the answer was. I wasn’t able to speak, I was quiet and my voice didn’t come out when I tried to speak. I knew the answer but still I was just too shy to tell the answer. I knew that I would regret not saying the answer out loud but I was too tensed, so I replied “I don’t know” then another girl from behind me told the answer I was going to say, at that moment I regretted saying the words “I don’t know”. I mean I knew the answer then why didn’t I speak up? However, I couldn’t help it now so I had to stop thinking about it. But yet…

That day didn’t really go well for me since I was constantly regretting the decision of not saying the answer, I knew that this wasn’t a very big deal, I can try and answer next time and with these thoughts I put myself to a troubled sleep. A few days had passed by and today I was going to go to a birthday party. I reached the party venue at seven and all of my friends were there! An hour had passed by and I was really enjoying until…. The time came when we were going to sing songs. I was really scared and tensed. What if my friends told me to sing alone? Luckily, all of us were singing together because everyone wasn’t sure with the lyrics of the songs. When we were all singing suddenly everyone stopped since no one remembered the lyrics after that, but I did, I was just too shy to sing in front of my friends, what if they made fun of me, what if I knew the wrong lyrics? So I just decided to keep quiet and I acted as though I didn’t even know the lyrics. Then one of my friends knew the lyrics so she told everyone and then all of us started to sing again. I was starting to regret the decision of keeping quiet, so I decided to go and meet a counsellor. The next morning I stood in front of the counsellor’s office waiting for my turn. At last, after waiting for half an hour it was my turn.

I met the counsellor and explained the situation to her she told me that I am an Introvert and nothing was wrong in that and she guessed that I might have Anxiety, so she decided to give me a twenty pages test which would take about an hour to complete and it would determine if I had Anxiety or not. The test included questions about my friends, my routine, my nature, my hobbies, interests etc. After I completed the test the counsellor told me to come and pay her a visit tomorrow morning. Next morning I went to her office and she said that she had reviewed the test and she came to a conclusion that I had Anxiety, and this wasn't something to be scared of. Then she told me a few ways to relieve Anxiety whenever I notice that I am having a high Anxiety shock-:

-Have a sip of water

-Rub your hands together

-Close your eyes and breathe slowly

-Clap my hands

-Count from 100-1

-Think Positive

-Talk to someone to distract yourself

-Talk to yourself and relieve your feelings

-Think of happy times

-Sing in front of the mirror or with someone, because it makes you relieve your feelings.

Then I used to visit my Counsellor twice a week and I was able to talk to her and I felt really happy to tell her how fun my day was.

In the coming days whenever I noticed that I was having Anxiety I would quickly follow these tips and I would be able to speak and open up my thoughts, opinions and perspectives. All of these tips helped me a lot and I love myself the way I am. To all of you out their just a message from me is that you always have to love yourself and have self-confidence because you are in-charge of your own happiness, you are the best and everyone loves you

"Always love yourself, no matter what others say because you are your own Me Love!".... always -Payal Gupta