Transformation – “a change that changes you”.

                           Transformation – “a change that changes you”.

Transformation – “a change that changes you”. They say everything is constant in this world except change. Things change , people change, attitude changes but no one could define change as in what is it in real. Is it  that things change from outside or is it something that changes within us? .

With my life experience I feel that even when everything remains the same, something that changes within us that changes the course of our lives is called transformation. However, often the stimulant for this change is very painful so unbearable, when life takes away all hopes and all reasons to be alive, it’s the transformation within that somehow seeks a purpose to move on  even when there is no reason the mind could decipher.

Our family has always been very close to each other , we cannot claim it to be a perfect or a happy family but still there has been some bond that has tied us together for the time it is destined for us.

As in the case of our sister, a noble doctor by profession , highly qualified , great in academics , extra – ordinary intelligence and gifted with so many talents and abilities , she was someone who was full of life.

Her nickname was “Dabboo”, though it is not a very popular name but it is adored by all of us as it made us more affectionate towards her. As a family, we all have always had a keen interest in carrying out religious practices and rituals , as religion is something more about faith so we have always tried to be with this faith.

“Faith” is a very testing and difficult feeling with its own set of trials . Its more easier to lose faith than to live with faith. The “Firmness” is tried many times, “Faith” is at times clouded by its own set of “DOUBTS” and ”FEARS” and one does not know the “result” unless it is out.

As in a examination, one knows the result only after it is out so “FAITH’ also has to prove itself by its “OUTCOME’.

Our sister was the lifeline for our family. She had a great friend circle , great things to look forward in life.

Be it keen interest in the design of clothes that she would wear , her choice of “Kurtas”, or “Jackets” from an exclusive store based in Delhi by the name “KHADI GRAM UDYOG”, or a tasty treat to spicy “SAMOSAS- Potato snack” , and “JALEBIS – sweet flour dish” of her favourite shopping stop “SAROJINI NAGAR “ market. She was very fond of travelling to different places in the world….as she was a successful doctor, she was awarded at national and international conferences in many different countries for her outstanding contribution in field of medicine …. Also she was awarded the commonwealth fellowship held at UK….Not only was she an excellent academician, she also had a very keen interest in decorating the house… I remember her having a beautiful collection of all the art pieces , souvenirs , wall hangings…..beautiful photo frames in which she had put all our family photos beautifully. The remarkable thing about her was that she was in love with life, even after getting married in a different town , she was in constant touch with all of us….

Family is a very strong unit that is necessary for an individual’s  growth and development. It’s a support system that one has. It is more about the love and responsibility that one feels , apart from being biologically connected to each other. So she was connected deep with us, from our hearts. Our sister was always by us and for us through every trial that we faced, our joys and our sorrows….she was always with us like a strong support to encourage us, to pull us up, in every possible way – emotionally, mentally, and physically.

I remember her handing over her entire purse to me whenever I needed any money, without even asking how much money I took. Whenever , she came to visit us she would always make sure of making us something delicious food out of her cuisine comprising of various dishes. She made sure she learnt from various recipes to make edible dishes just too delicious !!

But good things don’t last forever , nor did her love and affection for us. We lost her 2 years back due to a deadly disease which she had fought with like a brave fighter that she was for 5 long years. Even during her last days , she struggled very hard to carry on but somehow her body gave up.

I can never forget the tears in her eyes, during the last painful days in the hospital. One could make out the helplessness, the fears, the anger, the regret, the pain, the delusion, the unfulfilled wishes and the thousand of other emotions that she got through during her painful journey. She wanted to live, to be healthy, to travel, to finish her book that she wrote for welfare of her patients, but time is too strong for us and it leaves us speechless.

After her leaving us, our family lost all our faith on God, on humanity, on man, on relationships, on every possible human emotion. We became void of any hope or faith…the pain was too hard to bear. Maybe it was a transformation time for us to get rid of impractibility, blind faith, rituals that everyone followed without questioning, to get rid of our pride and prejudice.

Maybe it was time to let go of the “Old” and become “New”. New faith, new belief system, to believe in ourselves a bit “more”. My eldest sister after going through endless pain and depression has somehow mustered up all the strength she had to again try to start living a normal life. She is supporting us as a family, trying to fulfill all her  responsibilities towards us. The dreams that were left unfinished we are trying to fulfill them, be it her book, her school , or carrying her name forward.

My mother, after spending hours and hours of crying, is trying to pull us back as a family together. She is engaging herself in art and craft work, drawing , painting, needlework. Our brother too is trying his best to better himself as a person. Life has never been the same , nor it will ever be. We have formed a (Trust- NGO) under her name to carry out welfare activities for children, old people and the needy. She always wanted to be happy, smiling, healthy, be surrounded by her loved ones, open up a school for herself, so we are trying to build a school of her dreams and are teaching young tiny tots to live a life like her….full of smiles, courage, positivity, hard work and confidence.

Things don’t change, basically its  our attitude towards them that changes and that’s what “Transformation “is all about.

Yes, transformation is about “pain”, we just have to learn the art of transforming that “Pain” into “Purpose” and if we can ………”TRANFORMATION IS WORTH THE DEAL”

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