The Weighing of the Coward.

Shiver Kari stood frightened, alone and silent as ever in the center of a dais. Dressed in simplistic black robes reaching down to her ankles, hooding her face from view; not a sound could be heard.

The entire world felt devoid of life and she wanted to run, but her body wasn’t responding to her commands.

Clouds; a thick shade of grey with the characteristic smell of earth mingling with metal greeted her.

She permitted herself a glance at her surroundings. She was standing within the town’s newly built amphitheater; just the latest in Shautiers’ indulgences.

The seats, all empty, sloped gracefully upwards. The ground around the dais was covered by a mist too thick to see through.

Like a grand deposition of atomic eloquence, seven pillars of smoke materialized gracefully before her eyes, solidifying into Seven Judges. Each one was as diverse in their appearance as they were visually striking; their details bombarding her subconscious for later analysis.

Will I have a later?

She didn’t understand how she knew they were Judges; just that she did.

Her heart raced. She closed her eyes and took a deep and unsteady breath. It was like trying to reign in a colt on the verge of bolting.

As she opened them, more smoke solidified into more judges, this time filling the seats of the inner rings of the amphitheater with townsfolk. Vendors; artificers; healers; traders; the entire circle of foragers... most looking at her in either confusion or apathy. The stallion of her distress stomped the earth in agitation.

The Shautiers appeared next; mother Lucile, father Dain and son Serick took their front-row seats, their faces looked like business as usual. Finally, her mother solidified in a seat next to the Shautiers, not looking at her daughter.

She closed her eyes once more, and felt her heart rip asunder; the sharp ache extending outwards into a dull ache encompassing her lungs, binding her ribs and tugging at her diaphragm.

I don’t understand why that’s come as a surprise…

The collective wave of mass-rejection, having submerged her in its depths, washed away any remaining will, dulling the terror as resignation diluted its toxicity.

Shiver Kari, sixteen and still growing, stood as tall as her body would permit, staring at the judges through the collapsed vision of dread and depression.

The first of the Seven stepped forward, facing the crowd, walking around Shiver and his colleagues as he spoke. Rich deep tones rumbled from an enormous, obviously muscular, frame. Ebony leather complimented soft tan and cream shades of flowing cotton.

“Thank you for inviting us to conduct this Weighing in your beautiful town. It’s our honor to share our magic, so rare in our kind, with you all.” As he spoke, Shiver felt the ground surrounding the dais almost sigh.

What’s a Weighing?

The second, a young woman fitted in loose garments of blues and sliver stepped forward to join him.

Her voice; like melt-water in springtime, washed over a thirst none of them realized they had.

“A Weighing is a Magical Contract, within which the validity of one’s Life is assessed.” It was as if she’d heard Shiver’s unspoken inquiry. “Life; in all its diversity and complexity, is the Single Most sacred charge any being can be granted. Those that squander it should return it.”

Next a wiry and bespectacled gentleman dressed in white and grey joined them.

A light breeze wafted through the amphitheater. “As you’ve heard, a Weighing is a contract. Once begun, it cannot be terminated, only concluded… via the redistribution of the years Weighed.” He appeared to be giving a lecture. “We’ve been called upon to Judge many types of deviancy, but never a Coward.” The word stung. He didn’t look back at the devastation the barb had wrought.

None of them have looked at me at all!

He continued, now looking at the Shautier family. “In your own words, why have you invited our Judgement?”

Serick Shautier, the town’s noble leader spoke first. Shiver stood silently, like she always did, as it all washed over her. Her eyes locked on the smooth marble of the dais.

“She is terrified of everything and everyone. Her very name is a preceding warning to all that meet her!” He was blunt. “Our mornings are filled with one skittish encounter after another.”

Well, some of that’s true…

“She’s never here and we don’t know where she goes.” Dain Shautier spoke. “She never participates in any of the town’s activities.” He gained momentum. “Our mushrooms are the best for 300 miles in any direction; and our exports have seen exponential growth. The gold is pouring into our town! While we all participate, we all benefit. However, she just floats along….”

Somewhat true…

Serick supported his father. “At least after this evening… her years shared wisely…it will have been worthwhile.” He shrugged.

“She’s Odd! The way she dresses; her reactions; her hair.” Lucile piped up. “She’s lazy and unladylike. And the way she Never Speaks. Life is clearly too much for her.” She waved her hand dismissively.

I was wondering when my mutism would come up…

Panic, anxiety and heartache flitted like currents beneath the still calm surface of resignation.

More verdicts came tumbling in; anecdotes about how her actions had sent smaller children off in tears. How the Shautiers had bought her family a cottage in the center of town, and how she had been too ungrateful to even sleep there at first.

The final judgement came in her mother’s tearful voice, not looking at her daughter as she spoke. “She’s not been the same since her father died. She refuses to speak and life has been hard for her.”  Allyssa Kari, no longer shining the light of Mother in Shiver’s eyes, gave a theatrical sob.

Shiver felt sick, and wondered how it was she could remain standing.

The fourth judge, a solid motherly looking woman with fiery red hair stepped forward. Her garb was simplistic, a set of black trousers and a rich cotton shirt died red. 

“Shiver Kari stands accused.” She said with golden tones as torches burst into flame around the Dais. “May the Weighing Commence!”

Like a queue they all had been waiting for; Seven Judges clapped their hands, once, in perfect unison.

Shiver found herself kneeling on a forest floor she didn’t recognize. Through the darkness a galactic swathe of starlight brought silhouetted trees into view around her; leafless branches running like cold black rivers into the night sky.

No life stirs…

Fear alighted over her senses like fingers running over harp strings. It was the most normal kind of fear … Natural. The kind that sharpens you!

Completely calm; she absorbed her surroundings; mingling aromas of sweet-rot and corn-baked-sweat drifted towards her from the left. She focused and ducked behind a nearby tree.

Pinpricks of panic floated in the air surrounding her, like dim fireflies. She recognized their trepidation, but not as her own and chose to ignore them. 

A clearing opened up between the towering trees; starlight bathed it in lifeless hues as from the void stepped a creature made of pure abyss.

8ft tall; he sauntered into the clearing with equine grace; four solid legs supporting a wide and sturdy frame. He appeared to be the most absorbent shade of midnight she had ever seen, contours highlighted with an almost imperceptibly lighter shade of midnight as starlight disappeared into broad muscles. The fireflies of terror behind her grew brighter, but they didn’t matter.

It’s just you and me.

She watched. He sniffed; and then snorted in her direction; clomping a broad hoof heavily into rotting soil. A slippery slap of maw reached Shiver’s ears as his jaw slacked down wetly, revealing rows of large, sharp white teeth. Canines extended ominously as they cradled a pink tongue lolling from his panting mouth; his eyes a glittering red.

Inhaling deeply once more, Shiver smelled the fetid placidity of a predator at rest. She leaned out slowly, exposing her body to his perception, and moved closer. She waited till he noticed her again, and moved closer once more. On and on till she felt adrenaline rushing through her, igniting her excitement as she was finally within distance. The fireflies darting behind her with bright agitation flashed over strong features, and were absorbed.

A Wolf-Steed of Terrors!

She reached upwards, gently resting her palm on the wide bridge of his nose, just between the eyes. He lowered his head. They stood together in serene silence for a few seconds… then, like a cacophonous cascade, the nightly soundscape burst into life around them.

The creature leaned in for comfort.

Beneath her contented hand, his form sublimated into fog as she was transported to another forest; this time one she recognized intimately as hers.

The town of Great Oaks lay nestled in a lush valley surrounded with verdant forests of predominantly Maple and Oak.

She was in her secret place, conveniently hidden from view off the beaten path. It was the middle of the day, but there was only low light to be had from a cloudy sky. It didn’t matter; the mushrooms clearly loved these conditions. They ballooned proudly, hugging Maples and Oaks with spiraling arms reaching ever upwards.

She moved to the center of a clearing, just as some distant memory of a horse and wolf at night… and lay down, her face towards the sky.

She closed her eyes and reached beneath her with her mind. The single largest being Shiver’s ever met greets her with warmth. The Mycelial Network, over 503 miles long and more than 373 miles wide, spanned underneath the entire valley the people of Great Oaks called home.

It hadn’t always been so large.

She radiated pride at how strong The Network felt, how it had grown since their first encounter. She felt it shudder in reply; leaves rustled loudly and branches crooned their song as they thundered through the canopy. Birds burst into flight, sending cries of indignation through the air as all manner of creatures stirred restlessly.

Shiver had guided smaller networks of mycelium into seeking each other out. Once they had done so, they joined and become One Network, sharing resources and energy freely. They flourished and grew, expanding ever upwards, linking roots with all manners of flora. Mother trees could now send nutrients to their offspring through The Network.

And the mushrooms! Thousands of different species grew in indulgent abundance!

A rumble of discontent Dopplered through The Network.

Something’s wrong!

The sky darkened as she opened her eyes. The trees were shriveling away before her, being choked by rapidly growing coils. She felt panic stir within her as she reached for The Network with her mind alone

What are you doing?

Hungry! Was all it echoed..

But you’ve always been content? You’re at equilibrium!

Apprehension welled within her, yet she knew she could not leave. Fireflies danced in the distance with bright anxious flashes.

Yes…but… want more!

Did you want more in the beginning, or did I make you want more? She was ready to take responsibility.

I felt… dim… before you… low. Growing has made me… More. The trees and plants… More!

Dread had dried her throat, yet she remained.

If you consume the trees, will you stay more for long? Will there still be balance?

There was a long silence. Sweat poured from her body and her heart galloped.

No. It felt petulant, and somehow this soothed her. Balance is… important.

Yes, Balance is important.

She sighed out a deep breath she hadn’t known she was holding as the choking helices receded. Trees returned to their former verdant glory and the sky brightened. All was still within the contented valley as Shiver communed with a large sentient Network of Intelligence on the importance of Balance.

She woke almost instantly, staring up at the thatch and rafters of a cottage she never asked for, lying in a bed she didn’t want. She instantly felt a rush of foreboding flood her being as what lay ahead dawned on her. She sat up and heaved dryly, wanting to evacuate a stomach of food that wasn’t there. She managed a stinging bubble of phlegm and bile instead.

Not hungry, she gulped down a glass of water as she got herself ready, hoping it would dull the gnawing ache of an insatiable hunger. Each item of clothing felt like adorning shackles, each button a step closer to her personal Hell.

She felt the bile rise again and inhaled deeply, steeling her resolve against the undercurrent of horror. She grabbed her coat, bags and basket; took another breath, and opened the door to every morning of her life.

So many humans! All in one damned place at the same damned time!

It was overwhelming; their varying mannerisms and moods perplexing. They seldom meant what they said.

There’s no balance!

She stepped onto the cobbles; her disquiet clung to her throat like a scarf on a muggy day.

It hurt her to know how the town viewed her. She tried to support them all as she went from one stall to another, buying everyday essentials and too much food from various vendors, always paying in full and upfront.

It was often awkward, and some got frustrated as she pointed at the items she needed. Three of them overcharged her a few coppers in their annoyance. They called it The Shiver Tax as she counted the inadequate change in her hands, lamenting how the town abused her father’s gold. 

She noticed for the first time as the baker slipped extra pastries into her basket, and smiled despite her nervousness.

Farmer Willits walked past with his dogs, he let out a loud Tsyaaa! as he caught sight of Shiver, and his dogs barked. They looked apologetic as she skittered. Walking off, he chuckled about how easily frightened she was.

As she neared the top of town she spotted the library, longing for the books and silence within. The young Librarian, tall and kind, smiled warmly at Shiver as she sat working at her desk. Shiver entered and felt peace saturate her bones.

Browsing through she saw the books she had donated shortly after the librarian had arrived in town. Having proved herself worthy, Shiver had dropped off 113 volumes of intricately bound books in the dead of night. Filled with knowledge, memoirs and adventures; all had belonged to her father. She recalled copying certain tomes, stroking their spines softly as she passed. Copies detailing irrigation, soil regeneration and mycology had been dropped at the doors of several farmers’ homesteads; also at the dead of night.

She heard a rustle, then a loud “Boo!” as five children only a few years younger than Shiver pounced at her from behind a shelf. She jumped high and almost dropped her belongings.

She kept her eyes on them as she backed towards the door. As soon as she was out, she ran to the top of the road and took a sharp right turn. Anxiety fluttered her heart, sending a wave of nausea through her saliva glands. Breathing deeply, knowing the end was in sight, she was able to tame it. The sweat was cooling at the base of her spine as she deposited the basket, containing most of the food she had bought, on a doorstep. She knocked and hid behind a barrel, not daring to look. She listened as Sylvie Alloe opened the door to yell back into the house with warmth.

“Breakfast!”

A chorus of tiny voices choired in the background. The door slammed shut and Shiver left for the unwatched back gate, her fear receding as her appetite returned. The only flutter of anxiety left was the firm knowledge that she would have to repeat the same ritual the following day.

She walked confidently into the open arms of darkness. Once there, she stood perfectly still as the amphitheater and Seven Judges drifted smokily into solidity once more. She felt oddly calm.

All three trials blazed through her memories like lighting, and then settled in order.

Seven Judges were now looking only at her. She looked towards the townsfolk instead.

Every last one of them appeared either pale or flushed. She smelled sulfur and bile and gagged, most of them had evacuated their stomachs.

An elegant woman, dressed in dark mint-cotton and pale leathers spoke at last. “Your Weighing is complete.” She smiled. “They each experienced your challenges for themselves. In the first, they not only saw your attempt, but got to participate as well.” She waved in their direction, not taking her eyes off Shiver. “All of them failed.”

The final two judges stepped forward together. Both were dressed in silk outfits, one all in black, the other all in white.

Twins!

They spoke in unison. “For the second trial they observed; much like passengers in your mind.” They too maintained eye contact; faces imperceptibly placid. “For the third trial, they were you. They experienced every moment, sensation and interaction in the same light you did.”

Every last one of them had clearly experienced significant trauma, but some had fared better than others. However, many, including the Shautiers and her mother, were surrounded by dappled emerald light.

The Judge dressed in green was the last to speak; now addressing the crowd.

“Fools often confuse Champions for Cowards.” She raised a hand as a surge of power left her. The Dais cracked as each and every member of the village wrapped in dappled green dropped to their knees; gasps of shock escaping their mouths. The surge quietened into a rumble. “Shiver has passed Her Weighing! As her life is not forfeit, we have taken one year from the lives of those we found wanting instead.” They all smiled, still looking only at her. “211 years in total.”

Shiver’s mind faded from all cognizance as pure Lifeforce flushed and filled her fragile frame to the very brim of bursting.