It Took A Fire To Realize My Love for You

Submitted into Contest #64 in response to: Write a romance that involves one partner saving the other from a fire.... view prompt

39 comments

Romance Suspense

Lana woke with a start. "What was that strange smell?" She sniffed the air again; Smoke! Lana jumped from bed and ran to the door of her apartment. She unlocked the door and opened it; she looked at the blazing inferno in front of her and felt the heat radiating from it.

Closing the door, Lana knew she was trapped. There was no way out of her room unless she wanted to fall from three stories, and the stair case was completely engulfed in flames. Seeing no other choice, Lana picked up her phone and dialed 9-1-1. "9-1-1 what's your emergency?" A person responded on the others ide of the line. "Hello my name is Lana, I'm trapped in an apartment building at 88th street, Brooklyn, New York." Lana replied, her breathing growing more frantic. "Hold on we're sending a squad now." the responder said, before the line went dead.

Lana had to keep herself from hyperventilating, as she saw smoke coming from under the door. She dialed another number, and lifted it to her ear. "Lana! I'm outside your apartment building. Where are you?" A male voice said on the other side of the line. Lana had to hold back the tears after she realized this could be the last time that she would speak to her boyfriend.

"James, I'm trapped in my room. There's no way for me to get out. I... I love you." Lana stuttered out. "Hey Lana, don't hang up. I'm going to come get you." James said, his voice filled with determination. "You can't, the staircase is completely covered in flames." Lana replied, backing up to the wall as the smoke started to fill up her room. She gave out a cough, and she dropped her phone as things got dizzy. "That's it I'm coming in, hold on tight Lana." James said. Lana grabbed the phone, but before she could protest the line went dead.

James pushed through the crowd and ran into the blazing fire, ignoring the protests from the police officers. The heat was overwhelming, but he pushed through and reached the first set of stairs. Lana was right about the stair case; it seemed impossible to get up, but he was not going to give up. James laid his body against the wall and crawled up the stairs, not worry about how close the flames were to his face. He did the same with the second set of stairs, and soon he was on the third floor where Lana's room was. "Lana!" James called through the blaze. He started coughing and his vision started to blur.

Falling to his knees, James pictured Lana's smile, her bright blue eyes, and golden locks. His dreams were crashing down like the ceiling in the fire; his plans to propose to her and marry her. Small tears threatened to escape. "I failed to find her." he thought to himself. Distant coughing made him perk up and weakly get to his feet.

James heard the coughing again and stumbled in the direction he heard it. He found Lana's room and pounded on the door. "Lana, don't worry I'm coming." he reassured. The only answer he got was another cough, which made him work faster. Finding a burnt out blanket that a kid might have dropped, James placed it over the hot door knob and twisted. The door opened, James rushed in, and went to Lana's limp body. He then checked if she was still breathing, which she was, and carried her out of the room bridal style. "Don't worry Lana, you'll be alright." James whispered, as the got next to the staircase. He wanted to see those blue eyes again and hear Lana's adorable little laugh.

James legs were starting to become weaker and weaker, but he still continue to push forward. They were nearing the second staircase, when the floor crumpled in front of them. It was short enough James could leap over, but he didn't want to risk Lana, so he got on his knees and leaned over hole to set her down on the other side. It was a struggle, and he almost dropped her, but James managed to get Lana safely on the other side. James stood back up and took a deep breath before jumping. He landed safely next to Lana's body, and picked her back and continued to the staircase.

Soon he was down to the first floor and he rushed to the crumbling entrance. He tripped over debris, and they both crashed to the ground. As his vision got more blurry, he spotted Lana, and crawled over to her unconscious figure. Fire men came through the entrance and spotted the two unconscious people. "Son, can you hear me?" one of the fire men asked. James weakly nodded and replied with, "It's her that needs help." James motioned to Lana, and one of the fire men picked her up. The fire man led James out of the entrance, which crumpled moments later.

Lana's eyes fluttered open, and she realized she wasn't dead, instead she was in a hospital room with bandages wrapped around her arms and shoulders. She gave out a cough, which made James, who had been sitting next to her the entire time, turn his head and smile. "How are you feeling?" he asked. "I could have been worse." Lana answered. James took Lana's wrapped up hand in his, and Lana saw his eyes watering up. "You're crazy, you know that? Coming in after me, that was madness." Lana mumbled. James chuckled and said, "I just love you that much." Lana pulled James closer and they shared a lovely kiss.

"You know what's funny?" Lana said, when they were done. James gave her a curious smile and replied, "What?" He said it in a way, that Lana smile, and start laughing. When she was done laughing, she placed both her hands on James's bruised cheeks and said, "It's funny, that the fire made me realize just how much I love you."

October 16, 2020 18:32

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39 comments

Lilliane Wei
04:01 Jan 11, 2021

Hi, Phoebe. Just dropped in to read one of your stories. To me, this was very sweet and endearing, especially James's dedication. However, I do think that some of this was a bit unrealistic, so maybe that's something you could work on. Also, I think some of your punctuation might need to be fixed. The quotations, I mean. Other than that, lovely storytelling. -Lillian

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Phoebe DeNeve
21:39 Jan 11, 2021

Thank you for the feedback. This was my very first submission on the website, so it has a few things that I would like to work on and change. Just out of curiosity; have ever written a novel before? I've been working on a series of my own and was wondering if there was some tips you could give me on becoming a better writer.

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Lilliane Wei
22:19 Jan 11, 2021

Ummm... By written a novel...do you mean finished? I wrote a novella but all my novels have been shoved deep deep down into the void of writing that is my computer.

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Phoebe DeNeve
14:19 Jan 13, 2021

Sorry I didn't respond earlier; School has been keeping me busy. Yes I meant finished, but a novella sounds really cool.

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Lilliane Wei
17:42 Jan 13, 2021

Haha, sorry, nope. I've never finished a novel. My longest story was only 19 thousand words, give or take.

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Phoebe DeNeve
20:48 Jan 13, 2021

It's still cool you wrote a novella. I've written about three books that are at least 60 or 50 pages long on Google Docs, but I tend not to be very confident in my work.

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Phoebe DeNeve
20:48 Jan 13, 2021

It's still cool you wrote a novella. I've written about three books that are at least 60 or 50 pages long on Google Docs, but I tend not to be very confident in my work.

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User_2443 0967
18:55 Feb 19, 2021

*finishes crying the Pacific Ocean* AHHHH THIS WAS BEAUTIFUL!!! OMG AMAZINGGGG I looooved James' dedication!!!!! Omg WHAT a love story!

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Phoebe DeNeve
19:23 Feb 19, 2021

Thank you! I always thought the title was wayyy too long, but I couldn't figure out what else to call it. XD

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User_2443 0967
20:11 Feb 19, 2021

Haha lol

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Phoebe DeNeve
15:33 Feb 21, 2021

I really like Death's Haven but I haven't gotten any feedback on that one.

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User_2443 0967
16:49 Feb 21, 2021

I'll check it out!

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Tanja Cilia
21:32 Oct 28, 2020

Some of the actions in this story are highly improbable - for example, the police would never have allowed a person to break through their cordon around the fire, and any attempt at rescue would be done from the balcony / window of an apartment, no from the stairway, which was a funnel for the fire. However, it is a sweet love story, and with tightening, would be much better. Also, you could give us some background as to why you chose that title - perhaps the girl was ambivalent until the tragedy occurred?

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Phoebe DeNeve
02:20 Oct 30, 2020

Thanks for the wonderful feedback. I don't usually write short stories so this was a new challenge for me.

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AJ Hensley
23:18 Oct 24, 2020

This is a very sweet story Phoebe! I love James’s tenacity and unwillingness to yield. And I enjoyed how you folded in several accurate aspects of how a fire would destroy foundational stability with the collapsing of the floor. One suggestion (and of course, take this with a grain of salt I am but one voice) is to not forget about your other senses when writing about something like a fire! Fires are very, very loud. It would have been great to hear more about the sounds of glass shattering, walls collapsing, the fire roaring, and baniste...

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Phoebe DeNeve
03:15 Oct 25, 2020

Thank you for your suggestions. This is my first story I've had people, other than friends and family, read, so it is nice to get feedback.

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AJ Hensley
04:28 Oct 25, 2020

Absolutely! We all benefit from sharing our knowledge with each other!

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