Baby Blue

Once upon a time,, in a random college, a wooden table with a face on it. He seems sleepy, but it seems worser than that. Sad, lonely, brokenhearted, hopeless, and toxic stoicism. No! It's not that wonderful stoicism by those wise philosopers on Greece, or any influental people in this world. It's kind of nihilism or even maybe extensial nihilism. Wandering on his own mind, try to do something with his life. Broken dreams, depressed, so he tries to distract his own feeling by doing college works. It's to tiring for regretness. Somehow he's on the class without anyone inside except only him. It's just second semester. No wonder four years with this situation. Try to do new things or used to enjoy but already traumatic about it, so he burned out, anxious all the time.

It's almost seven o'clock going to night, the door open. "Hey kid, what are you doing here?" "No, it's just nothing." "Tell me what happen?" "I just sleepy and overslept on this table." "You hiding something from me." "How do you know that?" "That stares on your tears in your eyes, it can't lied. I can even see myself in it." "Do you really want to be here?" "I don't know." "What do you think?" "Just listen to your heart. It knows right or wrong. Let it guide you. Look inside of yourself." In his mind, he thinks that cleaning service experienced the same thing. Don't even know what happen. Right after that, without know each other closer, those moment just goes away. "Hey Jack, where are you going?" "Go to my flat rent." "Let's have a dinner for a while." "Alright, Carlos." Carlos's half puerto rican. He's kind of funny, almost never heard spanish phrase from him. But liked to writing stories. Often showed it to Jack. Reminder for his old dream. Used to laugh when read it, but just a little. While walking to Jeener's Burger, warming each other in cold night. "Do you have other friends?" "Sometimes they asked me to join them, but just lazy to do it." "Why? Nurturing your heart is important." "I don't know man, let's just buy it." "Excuse me, two pizza, please? "It's runout." "Ok, how about just plain crackers." "You're joking, right?" "No, I used to eat plain meals after that time." "What time?" "Let's talk about it later." "Waiter, just regular burger for two of us" "Understood." Jack and Carlos sitting on the same side of a sofa. "Now, tell me what happen?" "Just common college problem, you know." "Of course not." "You still writing stories?" "Of course." "But you're at the same major as mine." "What's the problem with that? We still can do our stuff while still can, right?" Yeah, but-" "There's no obstacle that prevent us for doing it. And there's nothing late." "One half years I got out from this stuff." "Then let's do it again." "I lost my passion, alright?!" Jack almost lost control. Carlos almost shocked for a second. But he still calm because he know that he don't really know what's going on with him. One half year is not a short time. To heal a wound is like doing a surgeon that could be painful without injection knowing it's emotional wound. With a calm voice he say, "It's hard, right? Just let it out." Jack almost crying, more like he try so hard to pull up his tears so no one can see him like that. "I just scared, alright?" "Tell me." "I don't know what to say." "Just calm your mind". “I just catastrophizing everything.” “I understand, you’re going through hard times until you feel stuck and don’t know what to do, right?” Jack didn’t answer. Just sadness. “Listen, man. I know there’s not quick fix about this, or quick simple advice to get healed. It’s relational.” Jack just eating his burger. Carlos doing the same thing.

“Relax, man. We’re just having fun, you know.” “Sorry.” “Why? You don’t do anything wrong.” “About my anger.” “That’s normal. It’s anger from confusion life, isn’t it?” Jack just looking at the floor with blank stare. “Why you still writing?” “It’s my therapy. You shouldn’t keep lying to yourself, don’t you?” “I guess.” “Pack your things, we’re out.” Jack and Carlos left the building, walking around the street on midninght. They’re overslept with milk. “You have a class tomorrow?” “Nope.” “Great. We can do more stuff this night. Just rocking, alright?” They’re walking, and walking. “It looks like you’re runaway from something.” “From what?” “You look like step out from yourself. Seperated your soul with your body. That’s what make you sick and runout energy.” “You’re right. I feel dead inside.” “And you keep that for the rest of your life?” “I don’t know. I already try everything. Or else..” “We’re meet each other, spend some time together. Do you think it’s coincidence?” Jack walk faster than Carlos, and sitting down behind a tree. Like Carlos wouldn’t find him. “Coincidence or not? All I know I couldn’t step out to make decision anymore.” “I’m not blame you.” “Wait.” “I have an idea.” “What is it?” “You used to look like you’re afraid to step up and afraid if you do something wrong, right?” “Doing something immoral as well.” “What? You look like a good man.” “ I left the door opened while I take a pee.” “Hahahaha!” “What’s so funny?” “You’re too hard on yourself, man. I know the right idea now.” “Don’t tell me-“ “Yeah! Let’s do some vandalism together.” “You crazy, man!” “Just do it until you think it’s common thing to do. Or pure happiness!” “Whatever, man. But how about the jail?” “Let’s hanging up with cellmate!” “Play chess.” “I can’t play chess.” “Cards, whatever. Ganging up with them. Make a great hideout!” “Don’t worry, Jacky, I can handle this. Follow my lead!” Carlos rolling up his jeans jacket like a gangster. Guess the time, don’t know. They’re running like they conquer the streets. Guess what? There is an old man right in front of them. “You know, Jack?” “I got this.” Jack running and take a bottle of milk from the bench, distracted by Carlos by asking that sleepy man. “Excuse me, sir. Do you know where a milk store?” “Just follow that kid, son. Be careful.” “Don’t worry.” “Hahahaha.” “See? That’s the way of living. Total freedom!” “Yeah, man. How about hanging out with more men. Making a gang!” “It will take a longer time, don’t worry.” You know, sometimes I used event like that as my inspiration for my writings!” That’r awesome!” Jack and Carlos talking while they hold breath after long running to a milk store just to hide.

“How do you feel now?” “Feeling better.” “Ah, you’re lying. I can see on your smile.” “Never better, amigo.” They grabbing  each other shoulders, then collapsed in happiness. Glad the store owner just smiling like he knows teenager stuff like that.

Morning arriving. “Ahh, where are we?” Jack not used to do stuff like that, but it releases his endorphine. “Don’t you remember what we did last night?” “Here you are big boys. Let’s get you out of my store!” Jack and Carlos running away like crazy. The store owner just laughing without recognized by them, leave them in panic attack.

“Screw you, man. This is your idea.” “You want it yourself. It’s for your own good.” “Whatever, man. What day is it?” “Tuesday.” “Tuesday? That’s great!” “What we’re up to? Dessert?” “Go to the library, read some books?” “Ahh, you still carry those boring stuff like that.” “What’s the matter? We get inspiration from writing, right?” “Don’t you remember? We have more inspirations out there. Let’s get to arcade!” “What?” “You lack nurture in your life. Just follow me.” “How about the others?” “Later.” Both of them goes there without buying a ticket. Guess what they do? “Hey, Carlos. What we’re gonna do while don’t have a ticket to play?” “You have money?” “Bunch of pennies.” “Hey, look at that woman.” “That blonde?” “Nice, isn’t it?” "Perfect timing, I supposed.” “Just talk to her.” “She’s still playing, man.” “Ahh, you’re just scared. Just talk like you’re innocent boy.” “Ahh, come on.” Jack confronts him. Carlos stay there, grabbing his curly hair while smirking. “Nice play.” “Thanks.” “Have you ever get the doll?” “My wish. Hahahaha.” “I can try.” That’s a doll machine. It’s almost imposible to get it. Even Jack almost spend his time only on rent flat, last school, and college. “Ahh, fail.” “A cowboy doll, I like that.” “Maybe someday we will get it.” “We?” “Both of us.” Knowing the wonderful moment just happening, Carlos left Jack while both of them injected by euphoric romance feeling. Even Jack almost forget about him. “What’s your name, anyway?” “Sherry.” “I’m Jack, I’m new here.” “Hahahaha. You’re funny.” Both of them sitting on a bench on that arcade mall. “So you’re in college?” “High school.” “hold a minute. You’re runaway from school?” “Yeah. “Why?” “Just some problem.” Jack won’t interrogate her, of course.

On the side of Carlos, he’s just walking while sunbathing on the streets. Two guys confronted him. Seems like random guys with bad intention. “Excuse me?” Without talk anything, they’re hit Carlos. One on his nose, two on his stomatch. Carlos collapsed once again.They carrying him into a van. Stupiditly, they don’t tied him. There are two guys there. “Hanging there, kid, it won’t be long.” It’s a van, so they don’t know what happen to Carlos back there. Very stupid thieves. The backdoors not even locked. But Carlos’s curious about what they’re gonna do to random teen like him. Then he asks for help to make them feel win. “Help! Get me out of here! I’m scared!” A guy with bass voice say, “Hahahaha. Don’t worry, kid. We just having fun, you know?” “Help!” The other guy with metal voice say, “Just be quiet, tough kid. You like metal music, don’t you?” “Hey Dough, turn it on!” “It’s broken!” “Ughh, why don’t you fix it last night?” “I just fix the wheels and you just slept like a dumb man.” “Hey I’m just have a cold last night.” “You’re weak.” “Shut your mouth, Rick!” At least Carlos know the both of their names, but just their surename.

On the other side, Jack and Sherry drinking cokes together. Then somehow Jack remember Carlos, “My friend Carlos,, where is he?” “What? You don’t come here by yourself?” “He waiting while we first time made conversation. Where is he now?” “We first met at 08:00 Am. It’s been two hours!” “He might be left me alone, but why?” “Let’s check for him!”

When those thieves riding to unknown place, Carlos slowly open the backdoors, and just quiet so they can’t hear any footstep. “So whose’s fault this?” “Whatever, man. What a waste of time!” Now the problem is Carlos don’t know where he’s at. It’s the middle of the desert, but where particularly? So he decides to run towards the same van again. In his mind, at least he can find some food to eat in their hideout rather than die of hunger while runaway. He running like crazy, afraid of lost their van. What if their way still longer?

Dough and Rick arrived at a caravan. Somehow it’s really clean. But how? It seems they more into cleaning their only living place and don’t care about their logic style of stealing. Dough opens the backdoors. “Hey! Where is that kid?” “Dough, not this again.” “You always do the same mistake over and over again!” While they arguing, Carlos arriving, hiding at the bushes. Looking at them and almost laughing. Then they get into their van to looking for Carlos that’s already behind him. Carlos quickly gets into their caravan. There are two burgers, maybe for two of them. Carlos quickly eating all of those before they come back again. Look out from the caravan, there is a motorcycle. And again, those stupid thieves left the screwdriver on it’s place. It’s automatic motorcycle, so Carlos easily used it.

“Hey, where is that kid?” “I don’t know.” “Let’s just sleep for a while.” That thieves sleeping on the streets. Carlos looking at them while riding so fast, making two of them gets up from their two seconds sleep. “Hey, give our motorcycle back!” “Just catch it if you can!” Dough and Rick running rather than get into their van to chase Carlos. Of course Carlos able to runaway from them, leaving them tired and sleep again.

Jack stepping on the streets with Sherry, and say, “I have a feeling he’s going to be alright” “But how?” “The way he thinks, help me to regain my mental health, get my happiness back, even make us met each other again.” “Again? What are you talking about?” “We’re on the same middle school. Do you remember?” “Hold a second.” “You often flirting with me while that time.” Sherry just being quiet, stunned. “Jack, I-“ “It’s ok.”  “I’m sorry.” “You don’t do anything wrong.” “For ignoring you for a long time.” “Why?” “You did the same thing to me back in middle school. So I have a feeling to do the same thing to you.” “So we do the same thing to each other, huh? Ignoring and striving for each other.” “Sort of.” “Hahahaha.” “Hahahaha.” “Also I lied to you that I’m high school girl just to distract you.” “It’s okay.” “You still living in the same house?” “Yes.” “That’s great!”

Jack and Sherry united again, Jack come back to his flat rent. Being motivated again. What happen to Carlos? Of course he’s still alive and safe, go back to his flat rent too.