Creative Nonfiction

I am a very socially awkward person who avoids human contact as much as possible. That includes handshakes, high fives, holding hands, hugs and, well you get the idea. So, having a boyfriend isn’t really high on my priorities list because I know that whoever it was, they would wanna hold hands, if not more. So I put it off for a long time and never had one. Until my dad met the so-called perfect guy for me in 10th grade. He convinced me to ask his guy, (we will call him Ginger cause, well, he is a red head) to a school girls ask guys dance. Needless to say I only asked him to make my dad happy and just to see how I would respond because it wasn’t like we were friends or anything, just in the same grade. I didn’t expect him to say yes but much to my horror, and if I’m honest excitement, he said yes. My parents were so proud of me for actually doing it so we went out like, the very next day to buy me a dress and shoes. I’m not much of a girly-girl but it was kinda fun shopping for a dress and shoes. I ended up getting a cute red dress and a pair of high-heels that barely classified as high heels cause again, not a girlie-girlie, anything higher and I would break my neck. Anyway, after buying the dress and shoes we scheduled my mom’s hairdresser friend to come to my hair at 9 o’clock in the morning, before she went to work. Now the dance did start until, like, 7:30, so I was going to have to keep my hair perfect all day. Not a big deal, except I woke up that morning sick as a dog. Sickness hit me like a truck out of nowhere. I woke up in a cold sweat, pale face, with a sore throat, cough and snot running down my face. I was miserable but I still got my hair done at nine and spent all day trying to sleep, on the floor, on my stomach so I wasn’t on my hair, and tried to feel better. Well, between medicine and sleep, I felt no better. 

My parents insisted that I still go to dinner with him and my friends we made plans with. When we got to the restaurant he wasn’t there yet but my friends were. They commented on how miserable I looked as I casually blew my nose for the 15th thousand time since arriving there. We waited for about 15 minutes then he showed up with a really pretty wrist corsage. Now the corsage was in a clear little box with shredded cardboard in it. When he removed the corsage some of it fell on the floor. Stupid OCD me immediately bent down and started picking it up off the floor, as he had been trying to the corsage on my wrist. I tried to laugh awkwardly, but it turned into a cough and then I had to blow my nose. After washing my already raw hands, he finally put the corsage on my wrist and then we had to pose for pictures. Not wanting to get too close to him because a( I’m sick and b( human contact is gross. After my parents basically treated him to let him put his arm around me, they took about a gazillion pictures. After pictures we sat down to eat our pizza (just so you know we were at a little pizza shop, 5 minutes from where the dance was) and I couldn’t even eat a whole piece because it just hurt too bad and the last thing I felt like doing was eating. By then I really just want to go home, get out of my dress, and sleep for forever. But I couldn’t. My parents and his parents wanted to take a bunch of pictures, outside, in the middle of February. It was super cold out and rainy so I was wearing my giant, warm coat in half of the pictures. Once we were done with freezing outdoor pictures we realized we had made a huge mistake. There was still an hour left before the dance started and we didn’t know where to go or what to do. After deliberating and debating for 15 minuets the adults settled on driving over to my home church, which was nearby, to take more pictures and get out of the weather. After arriving and taking a ton more pictures Ginger and his dad left because they had to drop something off at a relative who lived nearby. He had plenty of time considering that even after more picture taking there was still a good half and hour left before the dance. By this time I had gone through about 2 boxes of tissues and looked like a complete mess. I dozed off while waiting to go and on the way to the dance. Ginger was already there when I arrived and I made one last attempt to just go home and skip the dance. My parents once again denied my request but this time they said if I stayed for at least half an hour and I still wanted to leave they would come get me. They cheered me up a bit so I got out of the car and walked to Ginger and we entered the dance together. The music was so loud and it immediately worsened the headache I already had had. Unfortunately  Ginger had his heart set on dancing with me so I toughed it out for an upbeat song and danced with him and my friends, planning on sitting down once it was over. Instead, a slow song came on after and of course Ginger asked me to dance with him. Since my nose was a runny disaster and I don’t like human contact I kept him at least arms length away as to touch him as little as possible (and to not get snot on him). One awkward slow dance later I finally got to sit down and texted my parents to come get me. After they said they were on their way I was immediately relieved and told Ginger that I was sick and going to leave. He begged me to stay and when I repeatedly said I was going to leave he folded and said that since I was leaving I should at least dance one more slow dance with him. I hesitated but gave in and danced one more awkward slow dance with him and then promptly left. Once I got back home it was only 8:45 but I was exhausted. My mother helped take out the 7 thousand bobby pins in my hair and then I took a nice, hot shower, changed into my coziest pajamas, and fell asleep and didn’t wake up till almost noon the next day, feeling just as crappy as the day before. 

After the whole dance disaster Ginger and I ended up dating anyway and we dated for about 5 months before breaking up with him. The reason being because the dance debacle was just the first of a total of 5 bad dates we had. After that many, I was done and we broke up. I have lived happily ever after since. 

February 12, 2020 13:23

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