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Funny Happy Contemporary

The plump little lady in a green tartan skirt and yellow hand knitted jumper stood on the other side of the threshold.

“Do come in. Mrs Hobart, isn’t it.? My daughter made the booking for you and didn’t quite catch your first name.”

“Alma. It’s Alma.”

Alma’s jaw dropped as she looked around the room at shelf after shelf adorned with statues and images of glittering angels, dragons, and unicorns. The windowsill beneath the tall opaque window festooned with pink rose quartz and amethyst crystals. Clutching her handbag close to her chest, she closed the door behind her.

“Welcome Alma. Take a seat. Now there’s no need to worry, my dear. Just relax. Nothing scary is going to happen during your psychic session with me.”

“I’ve never had a psychic reading before, and I must admit I do feel rather nervous.”

“No need to be. I can assure you of that.”

“Thank you. Thank you so much.”

Priscilla points to the chair opposite her at the small, round table adorned with a purple velvet cloth speckled with gold stars.

Alma places her handbag on the floor, clears her throat and sits down, pulling the pine chair in close to the table.

Priscilla stands and watches until Alma appears ready and then reaches over to her Welsh dresser and picks up her crystal ball and turquoise scarf.

“Would you mind placing your hands on the table and cupping them in front of me so that I can place my crystal ball in them?”

Alma leans forward, stretches her arms out in front of her, and places her hands together.

“Oh, it feels quite cold.”

“Yes, my clients often say that about the crystal ball, Alma. I’m now going to wrap my turquoise silk scarf around your hands and the ball for psychic protection. It’s a ritual I do with all my clients. It helps connect us all to the spirit world and stops any nasty spirits coming through.”

“Will there be nasty spirits? That would really frighten me.”

“No, of course not, my dear. You’re quite safe here with me. Relax now, as I tune into the crystal ball for your reading.”

Priscilla bends forward, placing her hands over Alma’s. She speaks in long, low tones. 

“As I gaze into the crystal ball, Alma, I can see that you have been terribly worried of late.”

“Yes, Priscilla, you’re right. I have. Terribly worried. Worried about many things. That’s why I’ve come to see you. Looking for answers, you know.”

“Yes, the crystal ball is showing that to me. Many worries.”

“Yes.”

“And you’ve been a tad weepy, too. I can see that in the crystal ball as well.”

Alma gave a little sniff. “Yes. You’re right again. I’ve got so many problems that I do have a little cry every now and again.”

“Poor you, Alma.”

Priscilla takes her eyes off the crystal ball and gazes around the room. “I can see spirits here all around me and they say they have great sympathy for you, and they can see what you have been going through.”

“Can they? Can they really?”

“Yes Alma, they can.”

“Oh, that’s so wonderful and lovely to know. Thank you.”

“Now Alma, I can see a light at the end of the tunnel for you.”

“I’m so glad. I hoped you might. There’s got to be a light at the end of the tunnel, hasn’t there?”

“Yes, there has Alma. We must always look to the future and think positively.”

“I try to Priscilla but sometimes you know it’s so hard.”.

“Oh, poor you Alma.” Priscilla gives Alma another reassuring squeeze of her hand.

“And now Alma, the spirits are showing me a rainbow for you. I can see it clearly, here in the crystal ball.”

“Can you? Can you see a rainbow? Ah, that’s so pretty. I can’t thank you enough. Does that mean everything’s going to be all right now?”

“Yes, it does Alma. Everything is going to be all right from now on. Let me assure you of that.”

Priscilla sat back, unwrapped the silk scarf from Alma’s wrists, took the crystal ball and placed it on a stand next to the scarf.  

“Alma, I’m afraid time is up. I will have to finish the reading now. Would you like to pay Cynthia on the way out? Don’t forget now, rainbows all the way.”

“I won’t forget Priscilla. You’ve been so kind and helpful to me today. I shall be eternally grateful.”

“Off you go then. Goodbye and maybe you’d like to come back for another reading in the not-so-distant future.”

“Yes, I’d like that.”

“Well, you can make your next booking with Cynthia on your way out.”

***

“Cynthia, did you get cash off Alma, or was it another cheque? I’m fed up with having to keep going to the bank with all these cheques. I wish people would pay cash.”

“Yes, it was a cheque, Mum. I can take it to the bank for you if you like.”

“No, that’s all right. We can both go together. Let’s have a walk through the park on our way. Get a bit of fresh air. I could certainly do with some. All these people and so many problems.”

“I know, Mum, but at least it pays the mortgage.”

“You’re right Cynthia. I’ll be ready in five minutes.”

“Okay Mum, I’ll get my shoes and coat.”

***

It takes only two minutes for Priscilla and Cynthia to reach the gates of the park opposite their neat little semi-detached home.

“Who’s that man standing over there by that tree, Cynthia?”

“What man Mum?”

“He’s gone now. He was wearing a green mac and standing by that oak tree at the top of the slope. He seemed to stare at us. Let’s get a move on. I don’t like it. We need to hurry through the park and get to the bank.”

***

On reaching the bank, Priscilla hands the cheque and her card to the cashier and waits for the money to be placed into her bank account. The task now completed, she quickly spins round in order to get out of the building and home ready for her last client of the day.

“Oops, sorry.”

“What is it Mum?”

“It’s that man again. The one from the park. He was standing right behind me, and I nearly bumped into him.”  

“But there’s only three women in the queue, Mum.”

“He must have gone out of the building in a hurry, then. I swear it was him. He had the same green mac on. I’m sure he’s following us.”

“Oh, don’t be daft, Mum. Come on, let’s get home. We’ve got time for a quick coffee before your last client arrives.”

“Look Cynthia, there he is again. He’s leaning up that lamppost over the road.”

“I can’t see anyone, Mum. There’s a green electricity box next to the lamppost, but no man as far as I can see.”

“He’s there, look. He’s grinning at us.”

“Let’s go, Mum, you’ve been working too hard. You need a break. Maybe we could get the train to the seaside on Thursday and have a day out. You deserve it. You’ve been working non-stop lately. There are no clients booked for that day, but quite a few on Friday.”

“I tell you that’s three times I’ve seen that man plain as plain can be. I know he’s following us. But I don’t know why.”

“I think we should get you home now, Mum, and have a nice sit down and cuppa before your last client. You look quite worn out to me.”

“Maybe you’re right Cynthia. I do feel somewhat weary. A trip to the seaside on the train on Thursday will be super. Fish and chips, seagulls, and candyfloss. I’m looking forward to it.”

***

Priscilla and Cynthia Stood on the platform waiting for the 8.30 a.m. train to the coast.

“Here it is, Mum. On time for a change. I’ve booked us First-Class seats. I thought you might like a quiet carriage.”

“That was very thoughtful of you, darling. I’m sure the sea air will do us both good. I’m really looking forward to sitting watching the waves rolling in while eating an ice cream.”

“Me too Mum.”

“Cynthia. Cynthia.”

“Stop prodding me, Mum, it hurts.”

“It’s him.”

“Who?”

“That bloody man again. He’s followed us onto the train.”

“What man? Where?”

“He’s standing there just outside the First-Class door. He’s in the next carriage. He’s looking through at us.”

“I can’t see anyone, Mum. Are you sure you’re not imagining things again?”

“No. I can see him as clearly as I can see you. I think it’s very odd indeed and if he continues like this, then I’m going to talk to the first police officer I see. I’m just not having it. He’s a stalker, that’s what he is, and it’s against the law.”

“I think I ought to get you a tea and sandwich Mum from the restaurant car. Maybe that will help settle your nerves.”

“I’m not nervous. I’m telling you, that man is stalking us.”

***

The day at the seaside went without a hitch, as did the journey home. Cynthia decided to take her shoes off and have a little paddle. Priscilla declined and said the water looked freezing. Mother and daughter stuffed themselves full of fish and chips, followed by ice cream with a candyfloss to enjoy as they walked back to the railway station. 

***

“Have you finished your cup of tea and biscuits, Mum? Your last client for today is in the lobby waiting area. It’s been a long week and I’m really looking forward to having the weekend off.”

“So am I Cynthia. Yes, thanks. Take my cup away and usher in Mrs.—Oh, I see it’s Alma again. She’s booked another psychic reading with me. Isn’t that nice? I love having repeat customers.”

Cynthia ushered Alma into the reading room.

“Hello Alma. How nice of you to book another reading so soon after your other one.”

“Hello Priscilla. Yes, I just wanted to let you know that a lot of things have gone right for me this past week. I wanted to thank you.”

“Oh, you are so kind, my dear. Take a seat while I get my crystal ball. It’s in the cupboard by the window.”

“You don’t need your crystal ball.”

“Pardon. Did you say something, Alma?”

“No, Priscilla, I didn’t say a word.”

“Leave the crystal ball out of it and give her a proper reading. You don’t need to fake them anymore. You’ve got me now.”

“Pardon Alma. Are you sure you didn’t say anything?”

“No Priscilla, I was just checking my mobile phone to make sure I’d switched it off, that’s all.”

“Tell her. Tell her it’s her dad here.”

“What?” said Priscilla, still looking toward Alma.

“Turn around and you’ll see me. I want you to tell her it’s her dad.”

Priscilla grabbed her chair, lowered her bottom onto the seat, and sat down. Cautiously, she turned her head and nearly fell onto the floor. The man in the green mac was standing right behind her, casually leaning on the Welsh dresser, smoking a cigarette.

“Alma, can you smell cigarette smoke?”

“No Priscilla. I can’t,”

“Well, I can, and I don’t allow smoking in my home—ever.” Priscilla said loudly, hoping the ghostly man might disappear or maybe put out his cigarette and therefore let Priscilla continue with the reading without feeling she needed to cough all the time.

“Are you all right, Priscilla? You’ve gone rather pale suddenly.”

“I’m fine. Thank you, Alma, just a slight cough, that’s all. Let’s begin your reading. I can see a gentleman here. He’s standing right beside me. In fact, he is leaning up my Welsh Dresser and smoking a cigarette.” Priscilla grumbled. “He is tall and slim and wearing a green mac. He says he’s your dad.”

“I don’t believe it.”

“He’s not your dad?”

“No—I mean, yes—I don’t believe what you just said. You’ve just described my dad, and he’s been dead nearly ten years now.”

“Have I? Are you sure?”

“Yes, Priscilla. Perfectly. He chain-smoked and always wore a green mac. And yes, he was tall and skinny.”

“You mean this man I can clearly see behind me is your father Alma?”

“Yes Priscilla. But I can’t see him. I’m so glad you can. You’re such a talented psychic Priscilla.”

“Tell her I’m asking for forgiveness.”

Priscilla cleared her throat.

“Go on—tell her I’m asking for forgiveness.” 

“He says he’s asking for forgiveness, Alma.”

Alma wiped a tear from her eye.

“I forgave him long ago, Priscilla. He left Mum when I was six. Mum said he just went out one day and never came back.”

Priscilla gently squeezed Alma’s hand in comfort.

“Babysitter.”

“What?” said Priscilla.

“Babysitter.”

“What Priscilla? What did you say?” said Alma.

“No, I wasn’t talking to you, my dear. I was talking to this ghost—I mean spirit standing behind me. I think he said the word babysitter.”

Alma burst into tears.

“He ran off with the babysitter, Priscilla. The one who was looking after me. They both disappeared in the night and left me on my own. Mum came home from work, found me in bed and no-one else in the house,” Alma sobbed.

“Oh, you poor thing Alma.”

“Tell her I’m sorry.”

And so you should be, Priscilla thought, but did not voice. 

Your dad says he’s very sorry for leaving you.”

“That’s wonderful Priscilla. It means so much to me. I really can’t get over how talented you are. I think you are brilliant.”

Priscilla looked behind her. The apparition had gone along with the smell of cigarette smoke.

Alma leaned back in her chair and let out an enormous sigh. “That was the most beautiful reading, Priscilla. It was wonderful to know you could see my dad when I couldn’t. I wish I had your talents.” Alma picked up her handbag and pushed the chair back under the table. 

“Thank you, Alma. You’re so kind. I’ll see you to the door.”

“Thank you, Priscilla. Thank you so very, very much.”

Priscilla followed Alma out into the lobby, where Cynthia was checking over emails on the computer. 

“Cynthia, your mum is just so amazing. She’s definitely got the gift. Priscilla, I’ll phone you for another reading later this month when my wages come through.”

Cynthia and Priscilla waved goodbye to Alma and then closed the door.

***

“Cynth, Cynth. It was him.”

“Who?”

“That man who was following us. It was Alma’s dad. The dead one.”

“What do you mean the dead one, Mum? Are you hallucinating again?”

“No Cynthia. I’ve really got psychic powers. I saw the man for real and he spoke to me, and I told Alma what he said, and she said it was all true. I can’t believe it. I have got psychic powers, after all.”

Priscilla jumped up and down and clapped her hands.

“Mum, Mum, this is astonishing. I knew you could do it. I always had faith in you. Let me give you a big hug. I can’t believe it. My mum’s got the gift.”

Priscilla looked up toward the ceiling wistfully and began waving her arms in the air.

“I think I’ll change my advertising, Cynthia. Amazing Psychic. I can see it all now. My name up in lights. A new website too, don’t you think?”

“Good idea Mum, and let’s put the prices up too.”

January 06, 2022 15:15

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6 comments

Allison Hannah
13:08 Jan 13, 2022

I was captivated. The father was a little spooky and it was nice that he was able to get his message through. I thought it showed the change from an imposter to real psychic very well. Great visuals.

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Barbara Burgess
15:03 Jan 13, 2022

Hi Allison, thank you so much for your encouraging feedback. Greatly appreciated. Best wishes, Barbara

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Karen Court
22:49 Jan 12, 2022

Hi Barbara, here is some feedback on your story, I hope you find it helpful for your writing in the future. It was a pleasant story with likeable characters. However, you did not address the Reedsy prompt's premise of her being a fake and waking up one morning with psychic powers. I mean, how did this rather cataclysmic change occur? How did Priscilla change from fake to psychic? And why? One overriding issue that may help you with future writing is your extreme overuse of each character's name. While we do need to know their names at the be...

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Barbara Burgess
06:35 Jan 13, 2022

Hi Karen, thank you for your feedback on my story. I will go over my story again with your comments in mind. I did think that Priscilla showed she was not a good psychic or a fake one at the beginning and then as she saw the ghost man I felt that showed she was a real psychic. I felt her first reading for Alma was just ordinary stuff and therefore showed she was not a real psychic. I will go over the story again. It is helpful to have someone else look at the story from another point of view and so I thank you for that. Best wishes Barbara

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Lps Timber TV
14:28 Jan 11, 2022

Barbara, did, enjoy your story. Strong Characters, excellent dialog really believable.

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Barbara Burgess
18:03 Jan 11, 2022

Why thank you Lps Timber Tv - nice of you to say so and thank you for reading. Best Wishes.

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