Too Easy

"You got the charges ready?"

Albert fumbled around in the pack, using his fingers to guide him in the darkness.

"Hurry up, asshole. We don't have all night!"

"Calm your tits. I've almost got it!" Albert snapped back.

Gonzo flipped him off, confident that Albert didn't see it. Albert finally found the charges and handed them to Gonzo, carefully moving his thumb away from the start button. As they made the transfer, Albert readied his submachine gun. They had gotten this far without a hitch, but it didn't mean that they wouldn't get in one later.

"You got the tape?" Gonzo asked.

"I thought you had it," Albert replied.

"You're the one with all the gear. I think you do."

"Check yourself, dude, before you make any accusations."

Gonzo patted his utility belt, grumbling underneath his breath. When he felt the roll of tape against his thigh, he let out a hiss of exasperation. Albert chuckled under his breath. Finally, he caught him doing something stupid. With as little movement as he could to prevent any unnecessary noise, Gonzo unrolled the tape around the beam. The infrared screen provided a little light to guide him, but not much. When he finally felt sure, he tore off the last bit of tape and pressed the button. The numbers began counting down; an hour left to get out of the building.

"That's it," Gonzo said. "Let's move."

Albert stayed crouched as Gonzo moved up from behind him, aiming his weapon down the hallway. As Gonzo made his position, Albert mirrored his movements. This continued until they were safely down the hallway near the stairwell. They both let out a sigh of relief as they made their way downstairs. The place was crawling with guards, but here there was no movement. Albert pressed the button on his radio.

"Control, this is Delta 2-2. Charges are secure. We're making our way out."

"Copy that." said a gruff voice on the other end. "See you guys at dinner."

Albert opened the door, a little lackadaisical, and began to strut down the stairs. Gonzo stared at him, flustered.

"Dude, what are you doing? They could be anywhere!"

"Relax, dude. This part isn't even guarded."

"Yeah, but they could've heard something. The security could be coming down any moment."

"And we've got our weapons and our training. We'll be fine."

Gonzo sighed again. There was no reasoning with this guy! He followed quickly down the stairs, keeping his weapon up. Albert pulled his mask down and brought a cigarette to his lips. He drew the smoke in and exhaled slowly, letting the nicotine in the smoke fill his lungs.

"Seriously? On the job?" Gonzo snapped.

"Jesus Christ, like you haven't done this before?"

Gonzo's grip on his rifle tightened.

"Dude, you're really starting to piss me off."

"And that affects me how?"

"I have half a mind to blow your brains out all over this wall!"

Albert chuckled.

"Yeah, sure you do. And what'll you do after you finish? Drag me back to HQ? That'll really set off some alarms."

The two kept walking. Gonzo's teeth ground in agitation. Still, he did feel a soft spot for him. After all, they'd been partners for five years, and friends were twelve. They had been through basic training, a few tours, and a couple of botched jobs for the company. Every single time, he was an infuriating asshole. With every quip, Gonzo always threatened to shoot him. A few times, he thought he actually going to, and all those times, he never did. Something about the way he pushed his buttons was actually a bit endearing. A soldier's kind of affections through and through.

As they reached the bottom of the stairwell, Albert put away his cigarette and lifted his mask up. Gonzo crept up behind him and readied his weapon. In a move they practiced a thousand times, Albert slowly turned the handle and opened the door. The two braced themselves, ready to do battle with anyone on the other side. The door made a slight creak as it opened all the way.

Simultaneously, they sighed again in relief. There was nobody there. Albert laughed again.

"You would think from the intel, we'd be in for a fight. But look at this crap! Nobody for miles."

Gonzo shook his head in disbelief. Agreed, this was way too easy. A little part of him made sure to be careful, but this was just ridiculous. This either had to be the most incompetent group of soldiers out there or a trap. Still, the ridiculousness was just overwhelming. Casually, Albert walked out into the hallway. He reached down for his pack of cigarettes but decided not to. His soldier training kicked in, and it was better to be safe than sorry.

The two made their way down the hallway, getting close to the front entrance. Albert pulled out his electronic key and opened the door to the security system. The incompetent guard sitting in front of him tried to put up a fight but only managed to get his teeth knocked in. Albert grabbed his radio.

"Control, the charges have been set. Meet us at the LZ now."

"Copy that. See you soon, boys."

The two opened the door and began to sprint. There was no need for stealth now, especially since there was nobody there. Their labored breaths overpowered the gear plastered on their bodies as they ran for their life. To their surprise, they found a car that worked. They sped off towards the LZ, confident in a job well done. They removed their masks and flung them in the back, following up with a fist bump. Albert pulled out his pack and enjoyed a celebratory cigarette. Once they got back, the money would be all theirs, and they could each take a nice vacation away from this crappy country.

A few minutes into the drive, Gonzo began to develop a feeling. It crept into his gut and into his head. That was too easy of a mission. As the hum of the car engine lulled in the darkness, Gonzo turned to Albert.

"Can I ask you a question, man?"

"Sure, go for it."

Gonzo chewed his lip a little.

"Did you think that was too easy?"

"Yeah," Albert said, resigned. "We'll probably catch hell tomorrow but screw it. We've gotten out of tougher stuff before."

After a moment, Gonzo shrugged. Yep, that'll be. Such was the life of a soldier of fortune.