Crystal Mae; Another World

“Hello?” My voice echoes as I tip-toe into the dark library. There’s no reply so I shut the heavy wooden door, making a loud creaking sound. I wince at the noise.

Dark shadows stretch across the walls and bookcases, created by the light of my lantern. I shiver as a breeze comes from the Banned Books section that belongs to Master Edward, his wife isn’t allowed to read the books there, let alone his children. He even dusts and cleans the bookcases himself which is absolutely absurd considering a man of such high status is known to do nothing but organise finances, meet with wealthy people and order his servants where to clean.

Ignoring the feeling that I’m being watched, my feet take me over to a shelf. A shelf that I saw young Master Henry pull a book out of. This book made the shelf open, revealing a doorway which he never came out of. I sat in front of it for two days, until it closed, last night, keeping Master Henry prisoner inside. 

Being a maid of this household, it is one of my responsibilities to look after the young Masters; Henry and William, even though I’m older than Master Henry but younger than Master William. So that’s why I watch what they do, and that’s why I will have to go in after him. Master William is visiting a close relative for the summer, he’s safe and that makes me calmer. But Master Henry might not be.

I head over to the bookshelf and pull each book out slightly, I couldn’t see which book it was that he had moved to open the doorway. None of them do anything so I try the shelf above it. Nothing there either.

Getting frustrated, I slam my hand against the wood, instantly regretting it. My palm stings as I run my fingers along the books’ spines. A hand reaches above me. It pulls out one of the books I tried to use to open the passageway. The bookshelf rumbles a little and I jump back in alarm. I think I’m going to hit the person who opened the door but instead I go straight through them, cold envelopes me and then I land on the floor. 

Shivering, I stand up. The lantern went out when it fell from my grasp, leaving me and the person in blackness.

As my eyes adjust to the dark, I realise who the person is.

“Master William?” I call to him. He’s back from his trip so soon? He only left a few days ago. There’s something different about him. He ignores me and walks through the door. I’m bemused. What’s happening? He’s acting strange, not like the boy I know. 

Not thinking about the consequences of missing my work in the kitchens, I go in after him.

His footsteps make no sound and he moves like a shadow across the walls. I walk next to him in the darkness, he seems to know where he’s going. I try to rest my hand on him to get his attention but it just goes right through. I shriek in alarm, this happened when I fell backwards in the library. 

Minutes pass, then maybe hours. I have the feeling we are travelling in an infinite circle, repeatedly turning round a corner.

Just as my feet start to lag and my legs begin to ache Master William stops and presses his body into the cold, hard brick wall. He disappears. By now I’m not scared by this. If I can go through him then he can go through other things or other things can go through him too. It’s a little confusing but I copy him, curious, what if everything here can pass through me like he did?

And as I suspected, I go through the wall. My arms first then head then body then legs. I spy a light and stumble into a large hall, there’s only one candle yet the black around me seems to keep on going forever.  

Strange markings cover the floor, walls and ceiling. I run my fingers over them, trying to decipher what they are. Do they mean something? Maybe they’re in a different language? I don’t know. I look around for Master William and hopefully Master Henry. 

There’s no one here yet I feel like I’m being watched, just like I did in the library.

“Hello?” I say again and again. It keeps on echoing around me, throwing my calls straight back in my face. I cry for Masters William and Henry but they never reply. Where are they? Are they safe?

I feel a presence behind my and pivot around to face it but there’s nothing there. I begin to feel frightened. What is happening? The fear settles in and I scream as all these presences gather around me. Voices fill my head. I’m spinning and spinning and spinning. Somewhere, somehow I hear someone laugh. Someone cry. Someone’s tears fall on my face. Salty and soft like raindrops from the sky.

I wake panting and scream. I’m back in my attic room. It was all just a dream. Wiping the sweat from my face, I listen to the tick, tock of my clock. 

My bed sheets are soaked with blood - blood? I look down at the gaping wounds in my body. Holes in all my joints. I move and they create a melody. Like a harmonica or chimes in the wind. I feel no pain so I get up. My bedsheets turn white and dance to my tune, they’re all I see till they land on the floor, turning to snow. The clouds weep icicles. They stop mid fall and begin to sway. The white gown I wear flutters like a butterfly and I move my body in ways I haven’t before, creating the most sweetest of sounds. I dance into a dream. Hypnotised by my own beautiful melodies. Crimson liquid still leaks from me. Splattering the snow with red droplets. 

The voices ruin it and the presences return. “Leave me alone!” I scream and loose consciousness.

Once again I wake. I’m falling gently through the stars. They twinkle and shine, reaching out to me, desperately trying to catch on to my sparkling gown. I catch a glimpse of my skin, it’s the colour of a pearl. It glints in the light. A dark universe consisting of only the stars and me.  

I’m one with everything, one with nothing. I’m just one. My hair is bleached. The perfect white. So soft, so long, such luscious locks. It curls around me like I’m in water, my dress does that too. 

Again, the voices and presences return. This time I’m still awake and I’m drowning. The air leaves my lungs and the pressure makes me want to give in. But I don’t want to, I don’t want to die. My body is paralysed and the water gets inside of me. Entering everywhere it can. It explodes in my skin, taking me apart bit by bit. Flakes and scales of skin come away from me and I experience the weirdest sensation, like my soul has finally split apart into a million tiny pieces and I’ve been waiting for it to happen since I was born. The water evaporates and I’m  floating. Light emitting from every part of me. I feel enlightened.

I fall to the floor, gasping and choking up water. I’m in the room with the candle. I look at myself and see I have white skin, white hair and a white gown on, I also have holes in all my joints. So did it actually happen then?

I stand up but everything tilts, am I still in this nightmare? Crystals grow from the floor and in their reflections I see my eyes, white and my pupils are even brighter. Then I spot a pair of eyes behind me. I have a feeling they’re the ones that have been watching me. Red and sharp, they have no emotion but just stare. I have an uncomfortable feeling and start worrying again. My voice shakes as I speak, “Where are they?” I stare straight back at those crimson eyes, “Where are Master William and Master Henry?! Tell me!” I scream at them, fuming.

The eyes glance to their left and I turn around, running. I have no footsteps. I make no sound. When I spoke to those eyes, my voice had no voice but they understood and showed me the way. I don’t feel when my feet hit the ground. I don’t feel the stitch that has probably come to be in my side. I don’t even have to pant. What is this? What’s happened to me? I move like it’s nothing, I’m invincible and the crystals clear a path for me as I head in the direction the eyes glanced at. I don’t know if I should believe them or not. But I have the feeling they’re telling the truth.

I’m coming. I will save them. Master Henry to me is like a brother. But Master William is something more. I know I can never admit it. A servant and a rich boy? That’s ludicrous.

“Mae?... Mae?... Mae?” It’s little Henry’s voice.

“Master Henry? Are you there?” I call out, even though my voice makes no sound.

“Mae, is that you?” 

“Yes! Yes, it’s me. Where are you Henry?” I loose the formalities in a rush of desperation. He’s right here, my little brother figure. I have to look after him. 

“Mae!” He screams. My heart skips a beat. “Mae help me! Help me Mae!” His voice echos all around me. I turn in every direction but it still calls me from behind.

“I’m coming! I’m coming!” My chest glows and I stop running when his voice disappears. Was I just imagining it, or was there another noise before he stopped shouting my name?

I see them, lying there on two tables made of rock. Blood spilling from them, trickling down the tiny canal carved into the stone heading towards a group of symbols on the floor, the same ones I saw repeatedly engraved into the hall.

My breath hitches and I scramble towards them, but a grinding noise loudly introduces the arrival of a crystal barrier that forms and blocks my path. I thought the crystals were helping me, but they don’t want me to save William and sweet Henry?

The barrier grows thicker and layers of crystals gather on it forcing me backwards. I stumble into a corner and stay there as the whole corridor is blocked off.

“Henry…?” I say quietly. Is he still there? Somewhere, somehow? Maybe part of the space around me? I hear his voice echo inside my head, ‘Help me Mae! Help me!’

“I’m trying… I’m trying…” Crystals slide down my cheeks in the shape of raindrops. I wipe them away, they’re hard and shine blindingly. 

I glow brighter and I’m lifted into the air, my back arching to the floor and light explodes from my eyes. My body is yanked left, right, up and down. An incredibly unbearable pain shoots through me. I feel like a rag doll being thrown around. I’m thrust into the air and I’m falling down. Plummeting to my death.

My eyes still glow, I see they’re reflection in the crystals. I see the red eyes too. I brace myself to meet my end, but I keep falling. Once more I visit the icicles and the stars, then the coldness and emptiness that I felt when passing through William and the dreaded voices and presences.

I feel heavy. I open my eyes and I’m in the hall with the single candle again. It flickers as a breeze passes by. I pull myself to my feet and tip over. I’m so tired, I can’t stand. I look at myself and my skin is back to it’s original pink-beige pigment and my hair is dark brown. There are no holes in my joints and I think my eyes are back to normal. I can’t see them, so I’m not sure.

Was I dreaming? I’m so confused. I put my hand on my face and release an exasperated sigh. Tears run down my face like waterfalls, but I don’t wail in reply to them. I look at the floor. At the symbols. My mind races as I think what could have happened.

They were there. Master Henry and Master William – regaining the formalities – were there, I almost saved them. But now I know it was just a dream. I must have just gotten tired and fallen asleep when I lost sight of Master William. But it still doesn’t explain how he ignored me and I walked through him and a wall.

My dream was rather peculiar now that I think about it. I’ve never thought of things like that so how did they enter my dream? What’s going on? I’m so flustered from thinking that I stomp my feet on the floor in a burst of anger. 

I feel a presence, no two. I turn around. Exhaling with disbelief. William and little Henry – loosing formalities again – stand there. Staring right at me. I laugh with relief and they smile, running towards me. I open my arms for Henry but he runs straight through me. William too. I look to where they’re going and see a girl with a white gown, pearl skin and bleached hair. Holes in her joints. They create a melody as she opens her arms to embrace them. I’ve seen her somewhere before. It hits me. She’s the girl from my dream. She was me. I was her. 

“Crystal!” The boys shout in unison. Hugging her tightly as tears flood from their eyes, crystals leaking from hers. I stare at the trio longingly. I wish that were me. Where are the William and Henry I know? I look around desperately but it’s just darkness. A lone candle sits on the floor.

I walk towards it, reaching out my hand. Suddenly the symbols on the walls and ceilings glow; the ones on the floor turn to flames. I jump back, alarmed. I search wildly for the scene I saw a second ago. My eyes catches sight of them and I see they begin to fade, slowly, leaving me alone. But just as they turn transparent and misty, they look at me, smiling, eyes dry, and beckon me to join them. The flames grow higher, surrounding me in a circle of fire. I reach out to them, but it’s no use. William and Henry wave goodbye and they disappear.

“No!” I scream, crying. How could I loose them  after all this? Surely I was just imagining it and they’re still here somewhere? The flames nibble at my skirts and pinch my bare arms. I can’t escape them. Smoke chokes me and I fall, once more loosing consciousness.

“Come on Mae, wake up! I’m hungry.” A voice reaches out to me and a gurgling noise comes from it’s stomach. “Mae!” It whines.

Suddenly I realised it’s Henry. I sit upright and look into his big blue eyes. I grab him and give him a big hug, tears running down my cheeks; not letting him go until he pushes me away. “I’m really hungry, please can I have some jam?” He gives me his best pleading look. I’m so overjoyed he’s safe that I forget I have to be strict and not give him everything he wants.

“Oh, alright.” I stand up and take his little hand and we go down to the kitchens. Cook isn’t there and the morning sun shines through the kitchen windows. I must have been dreaming all night and fell asleep in the nursery. 

I make Henry some bread and jam and he thanks me before wolfing it down. I know it’s impolite manners but he deserves the treat.

We go outside, forgetting to put our outdoor shoes on and Henry runs around me screaming and laughing as I chase him, trying to tickle him.

I look back at the house and William stands there, grinning fondly at us. My heart stops for a second. I tuck a loose strand of hair behind my ear and smile back shyly. He’s safe. I’m so glad I could cry and rush over there and give him a hug. But I restrain myself. I can only be intimate like that with Henry because he is so young. William is older than me and I’m his household’s servant. It just wouldn’t be right. 

He comes over and joins us, chasing Henry and becoming the tickle monster.

After a full morning of laughing and running, the three of us are exhausted and my jaw hurts from the tension of opening it so much.

The day goes by in a flash and I enjoy every moment of it, savouring each memory that is made.

I go over to the nursery’s fireplace and get a book from the shelf to read as a bedtime story to Henry. But my breath hitches as I see my reflection in the mirror: white hair, white eyes, white skin, white gown, holes in my joints. She’s still here, in me. I look down at my hands, they’re pink-beige. My dream happened in a world where things like that can happen. I’m going to keep the memory of it as a reminder and a warning to never return to that world again.

I look at little Henry, he’s scratching his head and yawning. I never want to leave him or William again.