I looked into her eyes as if it was the last time I could gaze at her beauty. 

“I guess it’s time for me to go now.”

“Mhm, I’ll write to you each week. You better check your mail.”

“Will do. I’ll wait every day for the mailman to await your beautiful messages.” I say with a playful, yet sad tone because even though I’m joking, it’s the truth.

“Yeah…you know I love you right?” Her eyes filled with sadness. I felt her pain as well as my own. Ouch. I’m leaving her and it’s just hitting me.

“Yep. I love you too.” I said painfully.

The train screeched down the tracks and stopped right in front of me. It was time for me to leave her, to leave everything I’ve ever known (again). She was the closest thing I’ve had to a sister since I can remember. I’ve grown up with nothing, and she was the light that illuminated my world. As I boarded the train, I turned back. There she was. The pain causes me to look away quickly. This was a memory that was too familiar. The memory of building a strong and loving relationship, just to move and watch it break and crumble into pieces of rubble. I looked at her, a bit cold, shivering in her sweater. She smiled at me. She won’t be dust that gets blown away into the wind, she’ll be the one that I have in my memories every second of the day. I return back to reality. She did a small wave.

“Until next time.”

“Farewell lass,” I said, jokingly.

I looked down the rows for my seat. EA1. It’s the 6th row on the train, it has a pull-out table and a window that I could view while I read to pass the time. The train starts up. I’m really leaving. Having looked at the given seat, I saw that no one has bought the ticket near mine, which drew me to a realization. I had room to think about what I’m going to do. New home, new school, new life. We will see if it ends well. I was joyous to hear the screech of the train at that moment, and I had been ready to run off the train. I was so close to being able to see her face once more. I ran into her arms and we discussed how much we’ve missed each other and the things that we’ve done. After deep in conversation, I looked up at her face. That’s when I realized her face was no longer her own, but a blurry image of the face that I couldn’t seem to picture. That’s when I heard the screech of the real train, not the one in my dream. My body leaves itself and jumped back to the harsh reality, she’s not there.

“MANCHESTER, ENGLAND. THIS IS YOUR STOP.”

I gathered my belongings, not that there were many, and I exited the train. I saw my parents waiting there for me. My mom and dad rushed to take my backpack as well as my small suitcase. We entered the small blue, little car that they have had since I was born. It’s the one thing that we haven’t sold or gotten rid of during our many, many moves. We now begin driving to my, apparently now, new home.

I walked in. The dark wood floor creaked as if this home has a million stories to tell me. At that moment I knew my midnight sneaks of food would be extremely hard if even the first step causes so much noise. Well, more adventure, right? Ha, I can just imagine my mom waking up thinking something is wrong only to find me holding a shit ton of snacks in my hand while trying to walk up the small, but benevolent stairs. I walked up these creaking stairs to my room. My room has a cottage and a homey type aura. It’s a small little cube, in which it has already placed a small twin bed and a wooden desk with many compartments. I walked up to the desk. I felt the cold, strong wood. It felt like I’m reliving someone else's memories. Each scratch and mark on this desk signified someone else's home, just like mine. Someone else who had to leave onto greater things. I could already picture my many days at this desk writing my worries away.

After I get a view of this small room I was called for dinner. We ate some warm chicken sandwiches while discussing my new school. There are wealthy kids, as expected. My public school before had led me to believe that these types of private schools are filled with a bunch of ignorant, and honest to god, stupid kids. Although from the sounds of it, it doesn’t seem that bad. My mom told me about a girl named Elizabeth. I was scheduled to meet her and have a look around the school before we start. Elizabeth sounds quite kind. My mother showed me a sweet letter that she had written that starts as-

Dear Josephine,

It will be quite a delight to present to you our school tomorrow. I’ll show you all the sweet spots of studying since we are a studious type of folk. (If you’re not, that’s okay. We like to have fun too.) I’ll be showing you our main classes that we share since I’ve been assigned to you this year as well as showing you where our lockers are located. From what I’ve been told, you are a smart and intellectual young woman. (Some might say just like me, haha.) I can’t wait to show you around, see you tomorrow!

With Love,

Elizabeth Brown.

The writing that she had it in felt like she put in real effort and actually seemed as excited to meet me as I was her. It felt like moving there wouldn’t be the worst thing that’s happened to me. I finished up my food, washed my plate in the sink, and headed up to bed.

I now look at the ceiling, in hope. Will I fit in? If so, in what classes? If getting into the different leveled classes will be hard, what exams will I have to be taking? Study groups, I wonder if they have those… or teachers that give tutorials? I’m not sure. I need to stop thinking and just see what happens because that’s the way life goes. I’ll see what tomorrow brings. I guess. What if she isn’t such a good person and what my previous friends predicted about snobs would be correct? What if they treated me less than worthy because I wasn’t as “sophisticated”? Okay, I need to get out of my head.

Goodnight. Oh, and sweet dreams. I hope this world does me good. I'm a little scared. To be completely honest, I'm terrified. But the world doesn't stop for feeblish feelings of little girls, it keeps turning. Turning until time stops and it's midnight. It's midnight and I'm still sitting here staring at the ceiling and realizing I said goodnight to myself 3 hours ago and have still not been able to sleep. I wish I just had a sign that everything was going to be okay. I wish I had a daydream.