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Fantasy Fiction

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To the Cossacks of Taridistan:

As High King, son of Eckvar; brother of the sun, moon, and the stars; grandson and viceroy of Tengri; ruler of the Eastern Steppes; King of Kings, Ruling over Rulers; Khan of Khans, never defeated; Eternal Master of the Golden Horde; steadfast guardian of the tomb of Yemo; the chosen of Tengri Himself; the hope and comfort of Eckvarians; confounder and great defender of the lesser races – I command you, the Cossacks of Taridistan, to submit to me voluntarily and without any further resistance, and to cease and desist from troubling me with your continued attacks and assaults upon my faithful servants and retainers.

-Signed, 

Temujin son of Zigur, High King of Eckvar, King of Kings, Master of the Golden Horde, Warlord of the Eastern Steppes, High Priest of Eckvar, Chief Priest of Tengri, and Overlord of the Stans

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To Temujin son of Zigur, High King of Eckvar; 

With the utmost regard, go to Hell and rot. 

 Eckvarian demon, abomination to the world, friend and ally of Chernobog Himself! THOU SHALT NOT, make subjects and slaves of Taridian sons and daughters; we have neither fear nor dread of your army (as evidenced by our recent victories over your host!) and as such we will battle you to the death. Your mother was a goat. 

Fool of all the world and underworld, an idiot before the gods, grandson of Evil, and the pain in our neck. Your father was a mule! Thus do we Cossacks declare you to be a lowlife. If you should continue to further make war upon us, then by the end you won’t even be herding pigs for us, the glorious victors. Now, as we are too drunk to bother looking at a calendar-it is currently a Full Moon, it is currently summer, the day’s the same over here as it is over there; in conclusion, kiss our arse! 

Signed, 

The Cossack bands of Eastern Taridia, a Free People, and ever leal and loyal vassals to His Imperial Majesty Tsar Yaroslav the Great, Grand Prince of Kyevnograd, Emperor and Autocrat of all the Taridians

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To His Imperial Majesty Tsar Yaroslav the Great, Grand Prince of Kyevnograd, Emperor and Autocrat of all the Taridians

Greetings and salutations, Champion of Dazhusinas. It is with much sorrow that I must trouble you with tidings of war whilst you are celebrating your latest granddaughter’s birth. By the time you have received this letter, we, the Cossacks of the Eckvarian Marches will have fought off three different hosts attempting to force passage into the heartlands of the Motherland. While I am most proud to report that your faith in us has not been misplaced, I am troubled to confess that the Golden Horde is once more massing before our border forts, and I am rather uncertain if us Cossacks have the numbers to keep Eckvar’s army from pouring past our defenses to ravage the heartlands of the Motherland. As such, I beseech thee to reinforce us at the border with both soldiers and with arms and rations, in the hopes that a sufficiently strong show of force might dissuade the Horse Lords of the Steppes from committing to an invasion of the Tsardom. 

With that said, on behalf of my fellows I offer congratulations on the birth of Her Grace the Grand Duchess Olga Pietroslavna, may she live long and prosper. 

Signed, 

Hetman Ivan Ivanovich of the Confederation of the Cossacks, ever leal and faithful servants of your Imperial Majesty the Tsar. 

—----------------------------------

To Hetman Ivan Ivanovich of the Confederation of the Cossacks;

I thank you first and foremost for the kind words expressed towards my newly arrived granddaughter. Myself and her parents are most pleased by the well wishes of our people. As to your petition for aid, rest assured my faithful servant, your cries are not in vain. As we speak, my son and heir Pietro is currently on route to the Eastern Marches, gathering many soldiers as he goes. Expect any number upwards of 15,000 men to reinforce your positions. In addition, they shall all be drawn from the retinues and retainers of the boyars and the druzhina, so they shall be well armed and equipped. 

With that said, do not allow the Golden Horde to bait you into an attack, especially now that many of your warriors have been blooded. Urgent matters have occurred on the Kearlic border that must be resolved before making any more plans for a counter invasion of Eckvar. Hopefully by the time the matter is taken care of, High King Temujin will have seen reason and called off the Golden Horde; if not, then you and my son shall have the command. Continue to serve my house and our country faithfully, and you and yours shall continue to reap reward without count. 

Signed, 

Tsar Yaroslav the Great, Grand Prince of Kyevnograd, Emperor and Autocrat of all the Taridians and Champion of Dazhusinas

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To Tsar Yaroslav the Great, Grand Prince of Kyevnograd, Emperor and Autocrat of all the Taridians and Champion of Dazhusinas;

Out of respect for the many years of peace our two nations have had, I will show mercy and restraint. If you know what is good for you and your country, you will order your grandson Prince Iohannes to cease his obsessive harassment of my dear nephew Hal, the Jarl of Vorarlberg. You are well aware of what happened the last time a foreign royal hurt a member of my family. I am not afraid to make history repeat itself, and my armies have only grown more hungry for war in these days of peace. My nephew has made it abundantly clear he wants nothing to do with your grandson, and in addition he already has a lover who he is betrothed to. Long have I bared my sword against the West and South, do not give me reason to turn towards the East as well. I have many nobles practically chomping at the bit to conquer new lands for themselves. 

Keep Iohannes away from my family. 

Or else. 

Signed, 

Kaiser Alaric Karl Redhand, Prince of Kearlin, Emperor and Autocrat of all the Kearls, and Champion of Wotan

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To Kaiser Alaric Karl Redhand, Prince of Kearlin, Emperor and Autocrat of all the Kearls, and Champion of Wotan;

Greetings and salutations, albeit I wish it was under better circumstances. While personally I am grieved that the peace we have worked so hard for is at risk, I am moreso deeply embarrassed and ashamed that it should be my own bloodline that would risk it all on a childhood infatuation. Rest assured I shall personally see to it that my grandson loses his notions of a romance with the Jarl of Vorarlberg and that he is appropriately chastised and disciplined. I sincerely apologize for the harm that Iohannes has done to your family, and I offer restitution as recompense. 

Signed, 

Tsar Yaroslav the Great, Grand Prince of Kyevnograd, Emperor and Autocrat of all the Taridians and Champion of Dazhusinas

—--------------------------------------------

Iohannes, my grandson;

You impudent, spoiled, idiotic CHILD! How DARE you!!!! I did not spend decades of my time and energy in establishing peace between the Tsardom of Taridia and the Kaisarreich of Karlheim just for you to put that at risk with your foolish antics! Until now I have tolerated your infatuation with the Jarl of Vorarlberg as I interpreted it to be harmless for the most part, however your harassment of the Jarl has crossed a line. You will not YOU WILL NOT risk the safety and security of our nation. As it appears that you can not be trusted to be left your own devices without causing problems, you are to return to Kyevnograd effective immediately. You should know that you have made your mother deeply distressed. She has been wondering where she went wrong and is extremely upset. If your father were here he would be as furious as I am. 

Words can not describe how disappointed our family is with you. Come home now. 

Your grandfather, Yaroslav

—---------------------------

Dear Grandfather, Father, and Mother;

I have the most marvelous news! By the time you have received this letter, I will finally be married to Jarl Hal and we will have a new family member! Once Vorarlberg is sacked and under our control I will promptly take my army and come home, I assure you. I am so happy that soon my love will finally be mine! Isn’t it wonderful? 

Sincerely, 

Iohannes

—-----------------------

Iohannes, 

YOU FOOLISH, STUPID IDIOT! BOTH OF YOUR PARENTS ARE WISE AND INTELLIGENT PEOPLE, HOW CAN YOU BE SO FUCKING MORONIC! WITHDRAW YOUR HOST IMMEDIATELY, AND YAROVIT HELP ME IF YOU ACTUALLY SACK THAT CITY AND MARRY JARL HAL AGAINST HIS WILL I WILL DISINHERIT YOU AND HAVE YOUR HEAD SERVED TO KAISER ALARIC ON A SILVER PLATTER! 

By the gods of our ancestors, have you taken leave of your senses? Oh wait, I forgot, you never had them in the first place. Regardless, you will obey. 

Or else. 

Tsar Yaroslav, The Ruler of your Country and head of the family\

—----------------------

To my great-nephew Vytautas, Grand Duke of the Lyetev Highlands;

 Greetings and salutations. Alas, there is no time for further pleasantries. 

Your cousin, Iohannes, has lost what sanity he ever possessed and in the process risks starting a war that could doom us all: He has taken an army and besieged the port city of Vorarlberg in a vain attempt to force Kaiser Alaric’s nephew jarl Hal to marry him. He has become a liability to us all. With a heavy heart, I have no choice but to write him off as a loss. For the good of our country, I ask that you eliminate Iohannes as soon as possible, before it is too late, though I fear it is so. 

Signed, 

Your Great Uncle, 

Yaroslav

—-----------------------

To Tino Timosson, Guardian of Swan Haven;

My cousin, Prince Iohannes has committed treason against our country and launched an attack against the port city of Vorarlberg. By order of the Tsar, his life is forfeit. 

As Grand Duke of Lyetev Highlands, I command you to take your fleet of thirty ships and sail to Vorarlberg. I will rendezvous with you there with the rest of our troops, and there we will either take Prince Iohannes into custody or he will be executed on site. 

Signed, 

Vytautas, Grand Duke of the Lyetev Highlands, Priest of Perkunas, and Lord of the Amber Coast

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To Kaiser Alaric Karl Redhand, Prince of Kearlin, Emperor and Autocrat of all the Kearls, and Champion of Wotan;

By now you have likely heard that my foolish grandson has made an ill intentioned attack on the holdings of your nephew in a misbegotten attempt to win Jarl Hal’s affections. As such, rest assured that Iohannes will not get away with his crimes. It is my hope that you will accept his death as a sufficient punishment, but if not I also offer 100,000 pounds of gold and 150,000 pounds of silver as recompense for the suffering and trauma Iohannes has incurred.

Once more, I am deeply sorry for what that fool has done, and I pray that you will find it in your heart to focus your rage on Iohannes. 

Signed, 

Tsar Yaroslav the Great, Grand Prince of Kyevnograd, Emperor and Autocrat of all the Taridians and Champion of Dazhusinas

—-------------------------

You vile Taridian curr. 

You were warned. 

Now reap what your treacherous seed has sown, bastard. 

 Kaiser Alaric Karl Redhand, Prince of Kearlin, Emperor and Autocrat of all the Kearls, and Champion of Wotan

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To Borislav, Prince of Velgrad;

My foolish grandson Iohannes has incurred the wrath of the Kaiser, and as we speak his armies march towards us. Assemble your forces and prepare Velgrad for a siege. If you can spare the manpower, fortify the border as best you can, we will reinforce you as soon as possible. 

DO NOT BE THE FIRST ONE TO INITIATE HOSTILITIES. 

Signed,

Tsar Yaroslav the Great, Grand Prince of Kyevnograd, Emperor and Autocrat of all the Taridians and Champion of Dazhusinas

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To Dmitry, Prince of Minske; 

War is upon us from Karlheim. Iohannes has forced us into this war, so we will simply have to weather this storm. 

Fortify the border to the teeth and keep a strong watch on the coastlines and river mouths, I refuse to have Kearlic Vikings wreaking havoc on our people at the coasts and up river. In the event you are forced from the borders, make sure Minske is prepared for a siege. 

DO NOT BE THE FIRST TO INITIATE HOSTILITIES.

Signed, 

Tsar Yaroslav the Great, Grand Prince of Kyevnograd, Emperor and Autocrat of all the Taridians and Champion of Dazhusinas

—-------------------------------

To Jannyck Sobovski, King of Polska and Grand Duke of Varsava; 

My foolish grandson has sparked a war with Karlheim. Muster your forces and fortify your border strongholds and keep a watch on the coastlines and the river mouths. In the event the border is overrun, retreat to Varsava and await relief. 

DO NOT BE THE FIRST ONE TO INITIATE HOSTILITIES.  

Tsar Yaroslav the Great, Grand Prince of Kyevnograd, Emperor and Autocrat of all the Taridians and Champion of Dazhusinas

—-----------------

To Vladislaus, Grand Duke of Krakovo and King of Polskrak;

My foolish grandson has sparked a war with Karlheim. Muster your forces and fortify your border strongholds In the event the border is overrun, retreat to Krakovo and stall for time as long as you can.

DO NOT BE THE FIRST ONE TO INITIATE HOSTILITIES.  

Tsar Yaroslav the Great, Grand Prince of Kyevnograd, Emperor and Autocrat of all the Taridians and Champion of Dazhusinas

—---------------------

To Sigurd Broken Blade Volsung, King of Volsungaberg;

I write now to inform you that a state of war now exists between the Kaiserreich and the Tsardom of Taridia. I officially issue this letter of marque, that in exchange for five percent of all plunder seized, you now have my permission and blessing to go a-Viking to your heart’s content. 

Happy raiding cousin. 

 Kaiser Alaric Karl Redhand, Prince of Kearlin, Emperor and Autocrat of all the Kearls, and Champion of Wotan

—------------------------------

Berwald, Oberjarl of Svealanda;

 I write now to inform you that a state of war now exists between the Kaiserreich and the Tsardom of Taridia. I officially issue this letter of marque, that in exchange for five percent of all plunder seized, you now have my permission and blessing to go a-Viking to your heart’s content. 

Happy raiding my friend.

 Kaiser Alaric Karl Redhand, Prince of Kearlin, Emperor and Autocrat of all the Kearls, and Champion of Wotan

—---------------

To my dear brother, Gunderic, King of Gothia; 

As of last week we are now at war with Taridia. Our nephew’s holdings have been attacked, and we can not allow such an unprovoked attack to go unanswered. I need you to muster a host as large as you can make it and sail to Vorarlberg to lift the siege and if possible to kill or capture that spoiled bastard Iohannes. 

You have never failed me before, I know you won’t now. 

Your brother,

Alaric

—----------------------

Stigander, my husband, 

Do you remember when we first met?

It was many years ago, when you came with your family to visit my Uncle’s court. We couldn’t have been older than ten summers. At the time, you couldn’t stand me, but then I saved you from drowning in the river, and we became the best of friends after that. It feels like yesterday, but it has been so many years since then. 

You are my best friend, my love, and the memories we have made together shall remain with me until the day I die-alas, I worry that that day may come sooner. If my attempts to save my city fails, I will not allow myself to be taken captive by Iohannes, not for five minutes. If the worst should come to pass, then just know that I love you, and that you will forever be in my thoughts. If this shall be my last battle, then farewell, my heart.

Hal

—---------------------

To Otto von Schwarzenstein, Baron Wulfenbach;

Begin the invasion of Taridia. Take the First and Second Army and march on Velgrad. After you slaughter the defenders, burn it to the ground. After that, march north towards Krakovo and encircle the city. Leave nothing but ashes and corpses in your wake. I will send you further instructions at a later date. 

Signed,

 Kaiser Alaric Karl Redhand, Prince of Kearlin, Emperor and Autocrat of all the Kearls, and Champion of Wotan

—-----------

To my son, Crown Prince Widukind Lightfoot; 

After you have mustered your force, take the Third Army and march on Minske. After you fight your way past the border, disperse into the countryside and engage in chevauchee warfare. Leave no farm, village, or fort unmolested. Plunder everything you can carry and burn the rest. Leave nothing but ashes and corpses in your wake. Once Velgrad and Krakovo are in our hands, I will send you further instructions. 

Be careful my son, do not take any foolish risks. 

Your father, Alaric

—--------------------

Father, 

The Eckvarian Marches have been lost. The Golden Horde has overrun the borders and as we speak are raiding the hinterlands at will. I was forced to withdraw to Beroservo to prevent my forces being picked off and annihilated, but I was unable to link up with the Cossacks in time. 

I am sorry Father. Hetman Ivan Ivanovich is dead. He was killed with most of his men stalling the Eckvarian advance long enough for us to withdraw unmolested. I know you were good friends with him, he was a good man. 

Signed,

 Pietro

—------------------------

Master, 

As was predicted, Taridia and Karlheim have gone to war. 

Hail to the Eternal Grand Order.

August 25, 2023 11:02

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3 comments

J. S. Bailey
17:38 Sep 03, 2023

I loved this piece. While reading it I couldn't help but continue to think if these people were real. If you were basing your characters off real people in history. Such great titles and all the medieval-speak of ancient Russia and the cossacks was so pleasing and fresh to read. An area of history not often explored in fiction and I WANT MORE. There was some confusion at the last letter addressed to master. I get the intention behind it--that someone was in the shadows instigating things--but it left me more disappointed in having no idea ...

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Joseph Peck
22:54 Sep 03, 2023

I am glad you liked this, that makes me happy to hear. I was actually inspired by something called, "The Reply of the Zaporozhian Cossacks" (which in my opinion is extremely hilarious) and then allowed the story to flow from there. The characters are all fictional, but I was inspired by different historical figures, yes. As to the last letter-yeah, in hindsight it kind of kills off the overall feeling I had cultivated. Now that I have thought about it, I am kind of kicking myself for not saving enough words to make it more detailed and inte...

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J. S. Bailey
03:55 Sep 04, 2023

Hahaha, yes I can see very quickly after Googling 'The Reply of the Zaporozhian Cossacks' Where the inspiration came from. Very funny. I love that kind of stuff and you captured that tone and held it throughout the whole piece. Great work. P.S. - I think you might like 'Norsemen'. It's a show, I believe it's on Netflix. It's about Vikings and Norse mythology and it takes this kind of approach to its telling, really great humor. If you haven't already, you should check it out.

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