Breaking the Mask

How was he breathing in that thing? Sam watched as her boyfriend walked effortlessly on the treadmill in the gym. His delicious caramel skin never even broke a sweat as his long yet strong arms swung freely on the infinite track. His gray baggy sweatpants and red shirt were beginning to perspire, but he had no trouble breathing. Only if everyone could that. Sam pushed out her bottom lip. “Show off much?” 

“Huh?” Her boyfriend asked.  

“How do you work out like that without suffocating?” Sam asked. The brown man shrugged. “You’re crazy, George.” 

“Hey! It’s just practice,” George replied.  

“It feels like I’m suffocating.” 

“You’re just standing there. You haven’t even gotten on the treadmill.” Finally, George jumped off the track and smiled, or Sam thought he was smiling. “Look, I know it’s hard, but I’m not gonna push you much on the first day. Why don’t we just do some stretches to start out and then we’ll look at some machines?”  

“Okay, but I still want to know the secret to breat through a mask like this,” Sam said, pointing to her black N95 mask over her nose and mouth. “I’m dying under this thing! Do you really think I’m gonna be able to breathe while doing all those exercises?”  

“And yet you don’t have a problem with doctors doing it when they’re operating on you?” George smirked.  

Sam leered, “That’s different. They’re...used to it.” 

“Ding! Ding! Ding! That’s the secret, honey,” George smiled. “Come on, why don’t we get those stretches out of the way.” Sam huffed and walked with him to the black rubbery floor beside the treadmills. They stretched their tensed muscles. Well, George did. Sam quickly found she had to choose between breathing and stretching. “Just breathe slowly. Okay?” Sam did so. Her lungs seemed to relax a bit, but fog crowded her glasses. “Alright, let’s go-” 

“Wait. How am I gonna exercise like this?” Sam said, pointing to her eyes. She could hear him chuckle, but she couldn’t see his face. Placing his warm hand on her shoulder, as if to tell her that it was him, he gently took her glasses off, seeing her small dark-brown eyes, and lightly placed the optics on the top of her mask. His hand lightly combed her cedar hair and lightly brushed against her pale white cheek.   

“Better?”  

“A little.” 

“Good, why don’t we get on with the chest press?” George smiled. Sam’s shoulders sagged.  

“Remind me again why I’m here?” 

“Because you asked?”  

“Why did I?” 

“Because you hate the fact that you’re in your house stressing about the things you can’t control and you wanted to get rid of your ‘quarantine’ weight like I did?”  

Sam’s eyes narrowed. “I can’t tell if you’re smiling or not.” 

“I’m not. Sam, I’m not gonna break your back... er... I mean, I’m not going to do anything that will hurt you. It’s gonna be small little increments. Small stuff first.” They walked past the few people in the gym. Sam glanced at the bulky muscled men. George went to what she called a “real” gym. There weren’t many older people, and the loud clanking of metal bars made her wince at first. They stopped at the chest machine. George wiped it down with disinfectant. Sam chuckled. “What?” He asked. 

“I remember when you first got me in the gym, you didn’t mind if people’s sweat or whatever were on the seats. You just saw it as a waste of time to wipe it.” 

“Okay, that’s not true,” George objected. “When no one’s been there for a while, I don’t mind. When someone just used it, I mind. In this pandemic, I definitely mind. Besides, you’ll be fine as long as you don’t touch your face. Viruses can’t get through the skin. They can only get to your eyes, mouth, and nose.” 

“Thanks for the PSA Dr. George,” Sam said.  

George smiled, “That’s what I’m here for.” Sam sat down, and George carefully put the weights on. It was like moving a dumpster truck with one hand. “Okay, let’s dial it back.” 

“It’s been a while, okay!” Sam slightly shouted.  

“Hey, hey. I just wanted to know where you were.” George changed the weight. Sam’s hands flew forward and pulled back. “There we go. Now, we’re going to go light for a week or two before we go to the next level.” 

“Why is it so light?” 

“Because we have to make sure you have your form down. Muscle memory.” She did about twenty reps before she stopped. “Good. Now-” 

“George...do you think we’ll get back to normal?”  

“Hm?” 

“I mean... after all of this. Will we ever get back to normal?” Sam asked. The chocolate-skinned man squatted to her level and tilted his head a bit. 

“Why do you ask?” 

“I don’t know. I mean... we’re already a year into this and nothing has changed,” Sam said. Save for the large air vent above them, it was quiet for that moment. George’s silence only weighed her spirit down more. He was only ever quiet when he didn’t have the answer. She looked at her watch, falling into that hunched back pose that George told her again and again not to. “Come on, let’s go on to the next thing.” George nodded.  

They quietly went through the leg machine, crunches, squats, and back machine. The silence of George watching her with no difference in his face always annoyed her. He didn’t say a thing and just stood like a sullen Centurian over his charge. It was simple question. Sam didn’t think it required much thought. She only shrugged. After he argued with her about what she means by “my favorite color is blue”, Sam knew George was an overthinker. As they finished with their last machine, they went back to the stretching area, where George said, “You asked me how I breathe through the mask, right?” 

“Yeah?” 

“Well, how are you doing it?”  

“What?” 

“I haven’t heard you complain about the mask in a while. And you were doing some heavy lifting sometimes.”  

Sam blinked and shrugged. “I just got used to it.” 

“Huh,” George said.  

“You’re smiling,” Sam said, narrowing her eyes. “I know you’re smiling. Yeah, yeah I get it.” 

“What?”  

“I can adapt to this thing and do exercise perfectly fine, and I can make it through things and yadda yadda yadda.”  

“Okay,” George said, “So you’ll get through this one, too.” 

“Huh?” 

“I don’t think we’ll ever go back to normal because we were never normal to begin with. The only thing normal in life is change. I mean, think about it. If it weren’t for this pandemic, you would be stressing about three different internships, an office chair position, and graduating on time for your masters. Now, you’ve realized that, bear with me here, you need to chill!” The words began to sink into Sam’s skull. “We’ll never get back to normal because we never really belonged at normal.”  

“But it was comfortable,” Sam protested. 

“No, it was familiar. Don’t confuse the two. Besides, you were the one with the mental breakdown before the pandemic hit.” 

“I’m sorry.” 

“Sam, I’m not demonizing you. I’m just trying to show you that you don’t have to worry about that. Right now, you just have to take one day at a time.” George smiled under his mask. It was always obvious. His grins and smiles were too big to be contained by any mask. George took Sam’s hands into his. “We’ll get through this. We always do.” 

Sam smiled, “Thanks, baby.” 

“You’re welcome. I would hug you but... six feet.”  

“Oh my gosh,” Sam sighed out a laugh.  

“Now! Time to stretch out those tired muscles,” He said, rubbing his hands together. “Oh, you’re gonna be sore for a while.” 

“Thanks, I feel better already,” Sam grumbled.