The Offer One Cannot Resist

Submitted into Contest #215 in response to: Write a story about someone making a deal with the devil.... view prompt

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Suspense Horror Thriller

The overhead of the gloomy and misty day blanket over a October Sunday. A slight breeze made its way throughout the city, and most people avoided the patios. Michael did not shy away from the breeze and welcome it along with Mr. Jim Bean as he swirl the amber color in the cup. He took a huge gulp from the drink and felt the wight of the world press down on his chest. The more he sat and drank, the wight of himself and the world prevented him from moving, and just brought more questions and confusion than answers. From all the decisions and actions that Michael had made, he thought he did right and the faith that he believed in. He took all the necessary and proper steps of going to college of achieving his degrees, networking his public relations, going to church, and being the best man for his wife and daughter; but in the end, nothing but deep pockets of debt and losing everything.

Michael at 30 years old was a young man, but his image pictured another look and story. His jet-black hair was now a pepper and salt mixture with the hard wrinkles that added years to his age. His best friend Mr. Jim Bean did not help the situation when they met up in clicks. “Shit” as Michael said to himself as he continues to swirl the glass. From one potential payout that could have placed him and his family comfortable in life, now brought him down to his knees and dwelling. “Its better to die on your feet than to live on your knees”. Michael always took pride in what he represented, and how he carried out his decisions. At this moment, he was facing the impossible wall to climb and had no other options to go. “I would do anything at anytime to save my family. Even if it will cost me my life to it” as Michael thought to himself.

Mr. Jim Bean was gone from the glass. “Time to reload” Michael said outload. The bartender was wiping down the counter as Michael walked up. “Double shot of Jim bean with a lime wedge”. The bartender nodded “Yes sir. How is the night presenting itself?” Michael did not recognize the man, but his presents caught his attention with his pitch-black eyes that swallows any sight that is in view with the opposite attraction of his pale and dusty skin that made you feel cold like a vampire in the night.

Michael did not feel or want to welcome the conversation, but he spoke anyway. “Its going and I am here. You must be new, I have not seen you here before”. The bartender finished making the drink. “I am only come when help is needed”. Michael nodded. Michael grabbed the drink “When duty calls” and he toasted to the mixologist and repeated back to his table and saw someone there. The man dressed like he was going to a event or church with a white sport coat along with a black button down shirt with black shoes and what appears a starch jeans pants.

“I hope I did not disturb you, loving the weather”. All Michael could do was smile and gesture a welcome with his hands. “Thanks for the invite”. The man smirks. Michael just looks at the man for some time, the man just looks back with a inviting stare as to “Come on”. “How can I entertain you, even tho I am not good company to be around”. “Okay, then I will then be brief. I am a man that does my research and knows some people around this city and some around. I hear through the grapevine you’re in some hard times and in debt up to your ears”. Michael eyebrows created a V and felt his blood start boiling and wanted to bark out. The man threw up a hand of gesturing a stop sign. “Before you go bat shit crazy on me, hear me out and I can make some things change for the better”. Michael did not realize he was not breathing, causing himself to feel tunnel vision. So he grabbed his drink and down it in one shot, so he could feel something. He set down the glass and saw only the man’s red eyes like if he was staring down a hallway like how Danny Torrance was seeing the twin sisters in the movie Shining.

“Like I said, I am man that can create things to happen or I can destroy it in seconds”. Michael for some reason that he did not know, welcome the mans conversion. “Your in deep debt and you have a family that you cherish and adore, and you at the edge of losing everything you work for”. “Yes, and I do not know what to do or how I can even survive this. I just want to protect my family now and for the future. What can you do for me?” The man just smiled exposing his pearl long teeth like how a dog does but with no scary tactics here. “I can gift over what you need and save your family and I am a very generous”. Michael listen more carefully and lean over closer to the table. “Who are you and how can you make this happen?”

The man prop up his head higher as like he wanted a more deserving respect. “Please tell me”, Michael threw his demand. “I am lucifer, but most people know me as the devil.” A roar of laughter came from Michael and slap down on the table. “You are one funny guy! Just to think that you had me!” Michael look up and saw the man only had the same look like a statue that never moves or blicks. “Please be serious here, you must be out of your mind and you don’t have jack…” before Michael could finish what he was going say. The bartender appear just right to them like a lion ready to strangle their prey by the throat. Michael was either in shock or just plain scare because he did not see him coming. All he could do was look back at the and knew this man was real deal of something. The man nodded to the bartender and he withdrew his position and retreated back to a near by table, but his guard was up with a stare of “I am ready”.

The man readjusted his jacket. “I say again, I am the devil and I can bring any dream, want, or any desire outcome that you wish”. Michael nodded that he understood clearly and he kept on. “Good, I knew you were smart and understanding. How this works as a business deal and we come to a compromise to what is lay down on the table”. “Tell me” Michael responded quickly. “Great, lets get you a drink”. Michael was about to yell for the bartender. “No need”. A drink appeared full in front of Michael and the weather magically came to a calm and felt comfortable on a moment notice. Michael grab and sip on it.

“So how this goes, you will receive the help and you will give something up for the exchange”. Michael nodded and sip again. “Okay will gift over anything you need for your family sake and you will be give yourself up in 20 years”. Michael felt overwhelming force of state of shock and down the drink in one gulp. “I can’t give up my family, I love them, I need them”. The devil laughed like he saw scene in a movie. Michael turned to the bartender for help, but he had not budge a inch and maintain his position. “Look!” as the devil bark at Michael. He turned at the demand order. “Michael, this is a one time offer and once I leave this chair. The deal is off and forever gone. Think this clearly and direct. What more important your family span of life or your messed up life. Again, you can fix this and live the 20 years with your family. The choice is yours”. Michael just sat there with his hands glued to the table.

The only thing that came to his mind was his family. Do I lose everything as I watch it and lose my family. Or, do I make the deal and lose my family in time. Michael just picture his 6 year old daughter with her kool-aid smile always running around the house being the life of the party. Her brown bouncing around and her making all the noise in the world. The perfect wife that assisted, stood by his side, and comforted him during his weak times. The years given to him, he could see the life events that most fathers want to see and experience. Get my daughter threw high school, college, a potential wedding, and hopefully be a grandfather by that time. The picture of his wife resurface. The sparkling eyes that caught his eyes with her dirty blond and brown hair that flow with the nature air like it was meant to be that way. His ultimate best friend and lover. Decision decision. Michael smiled to himself and look up to the devil himself. “May I have a drink?”. “Of course”. He snap his fingers and Michael saw the drink refill to the top with lime wedges sat on top.

Michael reach over and grab his second best friend and down it at once. “I have answer for you sir”. “Good, I knew you were wise”. “Give me 25 years and I am yours”. The Devil look at Michael for some time and turn to the bartender and tilted his head towards him and back to the Michael. “You are good, and I will give you that. So it’s a deal. Everything will be delivered in the morning and no problems will come your way. Enjoy every moment of it before your ass is mine”. Michael nodded with understanding. “Now, on to the next victim”. The devil left the table and snapped his fingers and another drink appeared. He walks into the overhead light and his figure disappear with no trace. The bartender got up from his position and smiled with pleasure and nodded to Michael. He followed the devil’s path, kept on walking and disappeared. Michael took the drink and toasted to himself “To living on borrowed time” and set the drink down and left the table in the opposite direction. 

September 15, 2023 08:31

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03:51 Sep 23, 2023

An interesting moral story, the way he kept drinking, I was wondering if the devil was the Jim Beam whiskey?! There was a few verb tense issues. I think most of the story is told in past tense, so this should be "Michael reached over and grabbed..." "Michael reach over and grab his second best friend and down it at once." There's a free tool, that can catch most of these : https://prowritingaid.com/ Just hit the "get stated" button and copy & paste your story into this. Grammarly does something similar, but prowritingaid will never ask f...

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