Him and Her

She thought she would never know love. Her young mind was complex and full of countless possibilities of her finding the one that gave her butterflies in her stomach. She moved from man to man as if it was a sales store with a 70% discount. Then, there was him. The moment that she laid eyes on him, her heart felt heavy, a feeling she wasn't familiar with. She loved him before she even knew him. Little did she know how much pain and anguish that he was about to cause her. As a young child, she never experienced much affection or happiness. As they grew closer, her love for him grew bigger than she thought the heart can handle. This was only the beginning of the end. Throughout the confusing entanglement, she began to believe that love meant misery and pain. It was comforting to her in a way that was unexplainable. She embraced it like it was all she had- and she truly thought that it was. He fed on her insecurities but he was never full. He sucked the energy out of her as she grew closer and closer to giving up. Yet, it was never the end. There were three times where she would try to distance herself from him. Everyone around her tried to save her from years of sobbing late at night. She would always take him back the second he fed his lies to her, his sweet but empty " I love you's" and " I'm sorry's". The poor girl wanted so desperately to escape this cycle - however, this carried on for years. She allowed him to take over her mind and body. She began to deprive herself of the nutrients she needed in order to feel beautiful to him. She sliced her wrist for every time his words and actions pierced through her heart like a thick needle. Even though she had no hope that she would ever move on from this, by the day she grew more and more disgusted of him and his ways. Her patience ran outwaiting for this person to love her back. Finally, she woke up one morning and gave up. The final strike was the realization that she wanted to grow with someone; she wanted to be fulfilled and full of life, instead of being deprived of the love she knew that was needed. But on his side, he never knew love either. He grew up with emptiness and pain, just like her. The both of them had much more in common than either of them knew. His mother never tucked him in at night- hell, she barely made it home before he fell asleep. His father was his best friend until one day, that was taken away from him. As a growing boy, he needed his dad. He needed support, someone to keep him on the right path. At 13, his father was deported and he was left with his mother. The boy craved attention as mom left every night to meet with one of her temporary distractions, as she downed bottles of liquor to feed her emptiness. Since he was never taught true love, he dumped his frustrations and pain on every woman he came across. Eventually, this wasn't enough to comfort him, so perfectly packed blunts and bottles of Bacardi became his new best friend. He destroyed the hearts of multiple young girls because he was fearful that he would be the only one around him that had their heart shattered into a billion pieces. Then, he met her. As they grew closer, his love for her grew- just as hers did for him; but years of built up sadness and sorrow took control of every thought and action towards her. The boy knew he was breaking her, but since he was convinced that he was already broken beyond repair, he pushed his love to the back of his heart and disguised it in the form of lies and carelessness. One day, she says goodbye for good. He feels every bit of emotion for her that he tried so hard to cover up, but he could never confess that. To him, love was for the weak. So instead, he continued to break himself apart. Both chose to move on in life, on different paths and with different intentions. She graduated high school, found a wonderful man who showed her every drop of affection that the boy hid. They got married and both had careers that were successful and enjoyable for them. He, on the other hand, had let his emptiness take over. He poured a cup for every time that he thought of her being with another man until it was not enough. So he began to dabble into other drugs, trying to forget. There was no hope or faith left inside of his bitter heart. After she ended it, he began to get with women ONLY if there was a huge psychical resemblance to her. But these women could never love him the way that she did. They would never wait on him as long as she waited. None of them could ever be her, they could only be an illusion of the one he loved. She was the only woman to carry a thousand pound weight on his heart. He grew older and older, and nothing changed. The man landed a job at a construction site where he was fired two days later for being drunk on the job. Every now and then she would think of him and wonder what path he chose, what road he went down... Both of them grew old. The old man laid on the hospital bed feeling nothing but regret and guilt. If only she would come back to him ONE more time, he thought. Then maybe he could finally come to terms with the fact that love isn't for weak ones, it's made for the strongest of people. Tears formed at the crease of his eyes and poured down his tired, wrinkled face- eventually falling asleep. When he awoke, sitting in the corner was a woman around the same age as him. She had strands of grey hair in the way of her hazel eyes. She looked weak and frail, like she was about to break at any moment. It was her. She smiled, but he knew she was still the same girl she was before. Empty without him. She finally finds the courage to speak and in her soft, nurturing voice that he always had a soft spot for, she says," I forgive you, again." This was truly the end to their long life as he passed away the morning after. She sat by the hospital bed as she heard the flatline from the monitor. She gave him a kiss on the head, whispering softly, " You missed out because you were never ready to experience the genuine type of love, my dear."