My Grandmother's Secret

Visiting my grandma is one thing I always look forward to every summer. All of my frustrations after the long and tiring eighteen hour trip from the US to India plus the stickiness and humidity in the air you feel as soon as you come out of Chennai International Airport would fly away from me as soon I see Rajalakshmi who is none other but my grandma. I always admired her for her intelligence and presence of mind. She used to tell me lots of stories from her past. Those stories are always humorous and made me laugh. The warmth of her affection and love always made me feel very important.

After I settled down at my grandma’s house and had her special Kotsu (gravy made with tomato and onion) I asked her to tell me a story about herself that I hadn’t heard before. Granny got lost in thought and started talking in a low voice. As she started, I made myself comfortable by keeping a pillow on my lap. 

“Did you know I had an older sister named Gnyanambal?” 

I was surprised. I thought I knew everything about my granny, but I hadn’t even known that she had an elder sister, which made me wonder if maybe there was a reason that she withheld this information. 

With a naughty smile in my eyes, I asked her, “is there any dirt involved in the story?" 

I have never seen her look so gloomy in my life. Her face, which shined like a fresh jasmine just a few moments ago, now faded in an instant. A tear peeped out the corner of her eye, and she wiped it on her silk saree. 

“Gnyanam and I were closer than two peas in a pod, and there wasn’t a single moment we were apart until the day she got married, which was when I was 10 years old. As you know, I was born before Indian Independence, and people were fighting for freedom everywhere in India.

“Soon after my sister got married, there was a huge famine. And even though my dad owned quite a bit of land, there was barely any harvest. Our workers at the time were much less privileged than us, and though the conditions we were facing were harsh, it was much worse for them. We couldn't let them go hungry, so my father gave most of his fortune to them so they could also feed their family. But when British officials and soldiers came to collect their tax even though they knew that there was a famine and nobody had any harvest, my dad tried to convey to them that he had nothing to pay them as tax, but it fell to deaf ears. He was asked to come to the center of the village and was given one-hundred lashes.

“Even though in those days girls and women are asked not to come near the area when the British soldiers or officials are present for their safety, I was curious to know what was happening in the center of the village. I had my way of hiding myself from others seeing me and I snuck to the village center and saw the harassment my dad went through.

“It was so frightening, and I felt very helpless to see my dad being treated in such a way by people who were only concerned about collecting money and didn't care about the people's welfare. That is when I started to understand why freedom was important. I started to want to take part in freedom fighting that way, so that my dad wouldn’t have to face these kinds of problems again.

“I helped my dad get home, where I noticed that my sister and all the people who we had helped face the famine were waiting for us, as they already knew this would happen. I cried to my sister and told her that I wanted to be a part of the freedom movement. That was when she revealed to me that she and her husband had already been secretly helping the people who were involved in freedom fighting. She also added that they all are planning to have a gathering and a peaceful March in Madras protesting against the British and supporting Gandhi's view.

“Gnyanam and her husband travelled to Madras under the guise of attending a wedding, but they really went there to attend the protest. At the peaceful protest, people were asked to disperse by the British police, but they refused. So, the British beat them up, and my sister and her husband were fatally injured. My sister's husband died on the spot while trying to protect his wife from getting hurt. The British officials started to keep a check on the families of the protesters, so my dad made arrangements for my injured sister to be taken care of in an isolated place. 

“My rage to fight for independence grew more at that time. I used to sneak in and out of the secret society plotting against British rule. However, I was never in favor of Gandhi's Ahimsa or nonviolence. I was in favor of getting freedom by force. So, in the secret society, I would always plot for violence moments. One such plan needed someone to plant indigenous explosives in the train in which the officials would be travelling. But those trains have high security arrangements as the British were starting to get suspicious of the high activity in our society. 

“As every member knew how sneaky I was, they got me involved in their plan. I was so proud and happy that I finally got to do something for my motherland. As per the plan when the train stopped near our village someone would be distracting the security while I placed the explosives in the train compartment.

“Things went smoothly as per the plan, but all hell broke loose when the station master, who is also a friend of my dad’s, saw me and asked what I was doing near the train. I told him that I was there to pick up my relatives who were coming from Chennai city. I could tell from his face that he didn't buy it, as that train was fully booked for the British officials, but I somehow managed to escape from him, got into the train, left the package inside, and got down. My heart was pounding like anything. 

“I went back home. I was wondering about myself. I was taught about not to hurt any life form by any way by my family but now I had done something very grave. In the morning, my family draws kolam (a form of drawing done with rice flour on the porch of the house). It is a way of feeding ants. I was from a family who would treat all living beings kindly, but now I had done something bad and I felt guilty because of it.

“The next day the news of a train having an explosive in it came out, and I couldn't say if I was happy or sad when I learned it was discovered before it went off. I was in a confused situation. But the frightening part was that the police came to my house shortly after. I thought they were about to arrest me but instead they let my dad know my sister framed herself for planting the explosives. I was about to tell the truth but my mom pulled me to the backyard and asked me to shut up, angrily. I could sense that my whole family knew what I did.

“My sister had connections with the freedom fighters, so she came to know that it was me, and as soon as she knew the police were tracking the bomb down to me, she surrendered herself.

My sister was already very ill and couldn't survive the prison life, and shortly died there. But before she died, she got a promise from my family that we would never talk about the incident or talk about her to others. She just wanted me to be safe. I kept our promise until today, since it’s her birthday today. Every day of every year, I miss her so much, and even more so on this day. I just wanted you to know about her so her memories and sacrifice will last forever. Also, I see her resemblance in you so I wasn't able to control myself any longer.”

There was a terrible silence in the room between me and my granny. I felt bad for my granny but I was happy that she was saved by her sister and also India got its Independence so my granny will not have to go through trouble any longer.