One-sided

“Thank you all for joining us on such an important day. I’m so glad we made it to today, this took a lot more planning than I can put into words - mainly ‘cause my lovely bride did all of it”. The room filled with laughter, the kind you do out of pity for a bad joke. “I am incredibly happy to call her my bride, and from today on, my wife.”

Emma could feel her eyes filling up and watched a tear land on her pastel pink dress. She quickly covered it with her bouquet and tried to keep herself from crying. It didn’t matter to anyone in the room if she did cry however, it was acceptable, even expected. She was close to the couple and people always cry at weddings. Plus, Nathan was giving a lovely speech - she thought so that morning when she read it for the first time. 

He was in the shower getting ready for the best day of his life, and she was gathering her clothes off the floor. Last night’s dress was creased but Emma hoped she would make it back to her room without anyone seeing her. She didn’t need anyone knowing she didn’t sleep in her own bed. Nathan stepped out of the bathroom, towel around his waist, skin glistening. She watched him as if in slow motion, walking across the small hotel room. 

“Your speech is really good,” she said with only her words. 

“Ah, thanks. Worked hard on it, wanted to make sure I make Anna proud. Do you think people will laugh at the jokes?”

“Of course they will, you’re the groom!” She couldn’t remember laughing while she was reading it, but there may have been other reasons for that. “Will you be okay with speaking in front of everyone? You normally hate it.” Why was she trying to discourage him?

“Well, I hope by then I’ll have had a few drinks and that won’t be an issue.”

“True, and you know..Zip me up please..I’ll be right there at the front cheering you on.” She turned to face him and smiled. What was she hoping to achieve? 

“It’s gonna be great. Thanks so much, again, for being a bridesmaid, Anna really appreciates it. Don’t you need to start getting ready with them?”

Emma checked her watch - shit! She had to be in the bridal suite in 15 minutes but she was still wearing last night’s clothes. She had to hurry.

“Yeah, I better get back.” Emma stumbled across the room trying to find her shoes and bag, and making sure she didn’t leave anything behind. She approached the mirror to make sure she looked at least half decent. The make up around her eyes was smudged and her hair looked a mess but she ran her fingers through it as best she could while Nathan was putting on his wedding suit. She needed to be out of there before his groomsmen barged in. 

When she was ready to go, she approached Nathan and let her fingers brush over his. “I guess this is it.” She kissed him and her whole body trembled. She could feel his warmth all over her and felt his arm pull her in by the waist. She could feel close to him for the last time. One last time. He said the same the night before. 

“For the last time, you and me, single people, getting drunk.” He raised a glass and they both smiled. 

“Any last things you want to do as a bachelor?” He gave her a half grin in return, and they both knew what that meant. “Seriously, Nathan, how are you feeling?”

“To be completely honest, don’t feel too steady on my feet. Think that was enough tequila for me.” They both laughed. He had such an easy way to make her laugh and forget about what was happening outside of their little bubble. His smile was so disarming and his touch left her yearning for more all the time. Although not for long.

Nathan had been clear that things needed to change once he got married. Emma was his best friend and will always be special to him, but she had to go back to being just his best friend. He loved Anna and wanted to have a good life alongside her. Their time together was the sort of fun he could no longer afford. But he wasn’t married yet. 

She sipped her drink and asked again how he felt about getting married. 

“Good,” he said without hesitation. “I know I’m making the right decision. I’m really happy.” She could tell he was being purposely vague for her benefit. She was grateful for that and she changed the subject. 

They spoke about who will be at the wedding the next day, and made bets on worst-dressed, worst haircut, best dance moves, and many others. She spoke about how terrified she was about staining her ridiculously light dress, and have Anna’s sister say she’s ruining the wedding photos. He spoke about how nervous he is about his suit - he never wore suits and found them so pompous. Before they knew it the hotel bar emptied and the bartender was offering them one last drink. They declined. Emma rose whatever was left of her drink and proposed a toast.

“To endings...and to things that end to make way for new beginnings!” They both finished their drinks and left the hotel bar to sneak up for one last night together.

Earlier that evening, his wife-to-be left the hotel bar early.

“Right everyone, time to go for me. Big day tomorrow, don’t know if you’ve heard. Need to get my beauty sleep.” Anna kissed her fiancé good night and went up to her room for her last night away from Nathan. She didn’t know what she was leaving in the bar - Emma and her last attempt at a night with him. The best man and maid of honour left the group next. They were good friends of Anna and Nathan, from their time together at uni. They were also a couple, so the maid of honour dragged her boyfriend to be so they could be in top shape for their duties the following day. After them, one of the groomsmen decided to make a move on one of the other hotel guests that he’s been courting all night, and soon they were off as well. One by one, everyone else finished their drinks and turned in for the night.

Emma watched them all walk away and when it was finally just her and Nathan, she changed seats to be closer to him and turned to watch him, while he was ordering another round. There he is, she thought - her best friend. They spent so many nights together but she could never call him hers. That’s how it has always been from them. She could picture it all in that moment. She had been there through the wedding planning and proposal. Through Nathan meeting Anna and wanting to settle down with her. Through making it in a big city, and getting grown up jobs, and university. Through relationships, break-ups, and many firsts together. From when they met as teenagers all those years ago. He was never hers, but she was always his.