The Conversation

I didn't choose this life, this life chose me.

It was hard, being a child born into a family that was always on the front of tabloids. I never let music affect my grades, but in seventh grade, something happened. Something that would change my future forever.

It all began a couple of weeks after Christmas vacation, I walked into school as I always do, ready to work. I had recently taken up the bass guitar. My grandfather passed it onto me when he passed away last year. I kept his guitar in my closet, but the other day, I took it down to play some tunes he taught me. The strings weren't tuned, but I didn't care. I really enjoyed playing, but if my dad found out, he would want me to perform on stage with him and the band, "The Dark Horses". I had to put it away, but I didn't want to. At that moment I was called to the kitchen

The teacher talked to me after class to talk about my grades.

“Derek, I need to talk to you.” My teacher said

“Ok, what’s the matter?”

“It’s about your grades, your highest grade is a C. What’s going on?”

“Well, I didn’t think they had gone down that much. I don’t know what happened. Nothing is going on.”

“Well, something has to be going on.” The teacher said, biting the eraser on her pencil. “We need to do something about it, I know how much college means to you, and I know you won’t get into college with those grades.”

“Ok, I’ll work on things.”

I walked out of the classroom so upset and disappointed at myself asking myself so many questions.

“Why did I let that happen?”

“How could I have been so stupid?”

“I need to fix my grades ASAP!”

All I wanted to do was go home, but I still had two more periods, so I went to the nurse saying I had a bad stomach ache and needed to go home. My mom picked me up and noticed that something was wrong. She asked me, but I didn’t say because if she found out about my grades, I know I would be grounded in a second, so I just answer with the, eh, just a tough day and I left it at that. 

When I got home I realized that I forgot to put my guitar away, I was hoping that no one found out that I had started to play. If they did I would be so upset, because I don’t want to play in the band. So I put it away as soon as possible. I whipped out the work in my backpack and got right to work. I got finished with all the work just five minutes before eleven pm. I was so tired, I had just spent the past six hours working on homework. I worked my butt off. I was so proud of myself. I was hoping that it brings up my grade. The last thought I thought of before falling asleep was when I played the bass guitar on my bed. I wish I didn’t have to hide what I liked.

I handed all my work to my teacher the following day, and my teacher was pleased. I was surprised at how much work I did. I never would’ve thought I could do that much work in one night, but I did. I was also excited because I had music. I usually am never excited about music, but today I was, and the music teacher was confused. She assigned us our instruments, and of course, I got the bass guitar. I was so excited, but I didn’t let it show. I played the song so good, that the music teacher and the rest of the class gave me a standing ovation. I was so speechless. I went out of that room feeling so proud of myself. The rest of the day was pretty smooth. I went through each period with a smile on my face until I got home. 

I walk in with my house and my dad has his arms open for a hug. He never does that. I was nervous.

“What’s the matter?” I asked with my shaky voice.

“My son is a bass player!” He said looking up at the ceiling as if he was saying it to God.

Then it hit me, the moment I was dreading, the moment when everything will change. My future is going to change, schoolwork is out of the picture, he found out. My dad now knows that I like and play the bass.

“Is it true?” He asked as he is shaking me out of excitement.

“Yes.” I’m trying to avoid as much eye contact.

“Yahoo!!!” He screamed so loud that it felt like he burst my eardrum.

“How did you find out?” I asked

“Your music teacher called me. When I heard what she had said about you playing the bass I was filled with joy. Why do you look so upset? This is meant to be a happy moment.”

I was so upset and angry that I ran right to my room. I didn’t want this, I didn’t want to be a part of  “The Dark Horses”. I knew that everything was going to change, but I didn’t everything to change, I want everything to be the same, I hate change, I should have never brought out the bass from my closet. I hate this. I was so angry that I had to be left alone. I was trying to figure out if this was a dream or real. I didn’t even go to the table for dinner. 

The next school day was long. I kept thinking about how to talk to my dad about not joining the band. My teacher said that all my grades were between a B and an A-. I was felt so much better, but I couldn’t stop thinking about the band, and my dad, and the bass guitar. I kept asking myself questions about the situation.

“What do I do?”

“Why is this happening?”

“What do I say to him?”

“Will he be mad if I don’t want to play in the band?”

I couldn’t figure out what to do. I shouldn’t have taken out the guitar from my closet, I knew that taking out that guitar would kick me right in the butt. I hope my dad doesn’t talk to me about me joining the band. I need to tell him that I don’t want to.

I got home and my dad’s face lit up when I walked through the door. I knew he was going to say something. I just went to my room before he could say anything. I put my stuff down and he called me to “talk”. I hope he doesn’t bring up the band. 

“Yeah, Dad. What’s up?”

“I just want to talk about music.” He said.

“Ok, but I need to say something first”. I said as I swallowed. “I’m not joining the band, it’s something that I don’t want to do. I like playing the bass, but I don’t want to play in a famous band.”

My parents looked at each other. They always do that when news hits them.

“Derek, sit down.”

I sat down on the edge of the chair.

“I don’t want you to quit school because of the band, that’s silly. I want you to play with us when you want. I’ll show you the music to learn, then you decide when you want to play with us. Any place. On tour, or at the local cafe. I was shocked when I heard the news, that you enjoyed playing the bass. You do what you want.”

I was so relieved when he said that. And I think it opened the door to music for me. Now I am a sophomore in college. I’m going to Berklee College of Music and I am the bass player for “The Dark Horses”. I never gave up school work, and I never gave up playing the bass guitar. I’m so glad my dad and I had that conversation. My dad still is in the band and has a lot more years to go. I love being a full-time member. And I love seeing my dad look at me when we play. I’m so proud of myself for making the decision to play for the band.