Hallmarked Holiday

My dad was driving us to my mom’s house, and he had the radio blaring Christmas tunes. He was singing along to that Mariah Carey hit and it was blatantly off key. His enthusiasm at that moment did not match the feelings of my sister and I who were heading to my mom’s house for our holiday dinner with her new husband and his two children. We’d met them very quickly at the wedding in November and it had been completely awkward. For some reason, my new stepdad had invited his mother-in-law who guarded his son and daughter and whisked them away once the DJ had dropped the third song. We basically had sized each other up and said nothing before the woman herded them to their hotel room. I had no idea where they’d been hidden the days before and after the wedding. I guess each of us had our respective babysitters.

My sister and I sat in the back seat like we were weighted down with sand. We looked at each other with complete understanding of the dread within each of us as my dad turned onto my new stepdad’s street. When he stopped, we both stared at the back of the seats in front of us, willing our bodies to start moving. My dad stood there with both of our overnight bags and a smile that was faker than any I’d seen in a Hallmark movie.

We got out and trudged up the walk, the door opened and my mom and stepdad both filled the door. I heard them chatting with my dad but didn’t care to pay attention to what they were saying.

The first night was just pizza and boardgames which really were more like bored games because not one of us four kids wanted to participate. We had Pictionary and Heads up and Candyland, but none of us were interested and my sister and I were too old for Candyland. We were not in primary school and I think that my stepfather’s enthusiastic attitude showed me that his childishness had remained through high school and afterwards.

He told us to get on our pjs after a while and my sister and I asked my mom if we could just FaceTime some friends. She agreed and we hurried upstairs and closed the door and dialed Veronica.

“How is it with stepdaddy, dearest?”

“Everything is so scripted and overdone. I swear he got to our dad before because all of the parents are acting like they work at Disneyland.”

“It’s nauseating,” Serena chimed in. “My dad actually tried to sing that Mariah Carey song on the way over. My ears were bleeding!”

“I know. Everything’s so fake.”

“How are your little stepbrother and sister?” Veronica enquired.

“I can’t think of what to say to them,” I exclaimed.

“I know! Me neither!”

“They’re like eleven and thirteen and he’s a YOUNG thirteen.”

“Boys are always waaay younger,” Veronica surmised. “I mean, my brother is in college and I still think my reasoning skills are so much better. He asked me how to do laundry last week. He’s been there since the end of August!!!”

“Ew, that’s really gross. Doesn’t he have a girlfriend? What does she say about that?”

There was a knock at the door and Serena went to answer it. It was my stepdad and the two kids. It looked like a Hallmark movie with the Santa figure in the corner behind them and the garland around their bedroom door.

“Evan and Lissa would like to say goodnight.”

It wasn’t even Melissa but Lissa. How juvenile! Serena looked at me and rolled her eyes and Veronica and I dropped the phone for a minute.

“Night,” we said in unison.

“Goodnight. Have a great sleep Alicia and Serena,” said Evan.

“Yeah, have great dreams of sugar plums and cookies.” Lissa added.

“You too,” I said. Okay, she was a little cute.

My stepdad, Ryan, added a goodnight sleep tight and went to put them to bed. I thought it was weird that he was putting them to bed when they were in junior high. We had put ourselves to bed at about eight. It was delayed.

“My heart. Barf!” Veronica laughed.

“The little one is kind of cute,” I said.

“That will last a minute. My sister’s step-kids were cute for a month, then we all got to really know them and no way.”

“Oh, yeah how is that going?” I asked

Veronica’s sister had married a guy who was ten years older than her and had two kids that he’d had when he was 18 and 20.

“They are better now. My sister is more comfortable yelling at them so it’s more balanced.”

“Ok we’d better go. I want a shower and to just go to bed and wake up in a normal mind-space.”

“Ok. Night Serena, night Alicia. Sleep tight.”

We rolled our eyes and ended the call. We grabbed our travel cases and decided who got the first shower. It was nice to just get comfortable and get into bed and hope that a sleep would correct whatever made this feel like an alternative universe.

The next day again seemed like we were in a holiday movie. My Mom and her husband were cooking together and greeted us in unison. He made a lame comment about how coffee would stunt our growth and I said I was pretty sure by fifteen and sixteen we had grown to the 5”5 that we were supposed to be. The plates were holiday themed and I wondered how many sets of dishes these two had. It was just simple at Dad’s, he sometimes ate with us or just read the paper as we ate, and we enjoyed our own thoughts.

“I have all the decorations ready to decorate the tree. I thought we could do it together,” he stated enthusiastically.

“It’s not even 9 am, when did you get them out?” I asked.

“Alicia, don’t be rude. It will be a nice family activity.” My mom scolded.

“I thought you had the tree up.”

“We saved the decorations for you two to help us put on.”

My sister elbowed me and mimed a smile.

“Sure, after my coffee.”

“I wish your father didn’t let you two start that.”

“I used to drink it with you too. You just thought I’d brought back a hot chocolate, but it was a latte.”

She looked at me like I’d ruined her chance of getting the mother of the year trophy then took a long, hypocritical sip from her own cup of hot, brown energy.

We spent the morning with my new brother and sister putting on the decorations that they had bought and my stepfather made a point of giving Melissa and Evan a decoration to give to us, which were nice, but just made it even more over-blown.

We made it through the rest of the day being able to keep to ourselves. We read or scrolled on social media for a while and then agreed to watch Home Alone before dinner. Evan and Melissa were curled up together on the one chair and it really seemed odd that they were pretty much glued together at that age. My sister and I got along, but we had always enjoyed our separate space and time alone. When the movie finished, they both looked at us like they wanted us to say something ground-breaking.

“It’s still a good movie, eh?”

“Yup,” they said in unison.

“What’s your favourite part?” Serena asked.

“The part with the dance party,” Melissa said.

“I like the “you filthy animals” part,” said Evan.

“Me too,” I agreed.

“Okay everyone, let’s get washed up,” Ryan requested.

We all went off to a bathroom then met at the dinner table. We had roast beef and all the sides. I guess the turkey was for tomorrow even though we used to have it Christmas Eve when Oma and Opa were alive.

“Ok, before we get started everyone tell each other what the peak and pit of their day was.”

Serena and I looked at each other, then at the other two.

“Oh, I know!” said Evan. “My peak was watching Home Alone, and my pit was that I didn’t get to go out with Oliver.”

“That’s a nice peak,” he said looking at us.

“My peak was decorating the tree and my pit was not going skating,” Melissa said.

“We’ll go on Tuesday Lissa,” he replied and turned to us.

I was actually sweating and started to stutter. “So, the peak is the good thing, and the pit is the bad?”

“Yeah,” the family Von Trapp sang.

“Ok, umm. Ok, so peak was decorating the tree and pit was not sleeping later. I guess I’m still on school hours.”

“Me too,” Serena chimed in.

“Can’t do that,” Melissa argued.

“Do what?”

“Have the same.”

“Ok,” my sister was stuttering now. “My peak was decorating the tree and my pit was the roast beef. It’s not my favourite.”

“You haven’t even tasted it. Ryan cooks it very well. Much better than your fa…. Well, it’s just great,” my mother awkwardly stated.

“I’ll try it.”

My mom smiled and the two of them said their little pep talk-type statements and we dug in. We were passing the food around the table and there were a few sauces passed to me and I had to asked what they were, and Ryan replied red pepper jelly and some sort of mustard. I passed on them and asked if there were gravy and was met with a blank stare. I just put my head down and ate in silence.  We had a pretty silent dinner except for when Mom asked what our favourite Christmas memories were.

“I’d have to say, hmmm, I think I was seven and Daddy took me to get the tree alone and we went to a different place that had a horse and sleigh, hot chocolate and a Christmas shop and he bought us those naughty reindeer decorations.”

“Oh, yeah. Mine has a bottle that says Blitzen’s Brew and yours has a toilet papered elf with Rudolph holding the roll,” Serena added. “That’s not fair we never went there the next year.”

“Your father has a unique sense of humour,” my Mom said looking unimpressed that we’d told that story.

“Mine is when we went to Oma’s and Opa’s and stayed over because it got too snowy and we all had breakfast together and had to open our Christmas presents in the afternoon. I think I figured out then when I ran in to the living room that Santa wasn’t real,” Serena stated.  

My Mom shot Serena a look and then it came to me and we quickly looked a Lissa who looked shocked.

“He wasn’t real good at getting me what I wanted,” Serena tried to save herself. “I didn’t get the game that I’d asked for.”

Melissa’s face didn’t seem totally convinced but maybe she was placated a little for now.

We went back to eating in silence. It was odd how stuffy and almost shielded these two were. I felt like my mother had gone the complete opposite from my dad who was funny, if not a little inappropriate. Now she had someone who was like some fictious character out of a romantic comedy. I wasn’t sure how I was going to get along with this new dynamic being more of my father’s daughter and not really knowing how to filter myself. I guess I’d have to watch a couple of those movies and take notes.

Merry frick’n Christmas.